In short we always need help be it a chat, a warm caring hand or the lick from a dog. It all sooths. Let's look at the levels of distress.
Some people use crying as their gauge of severe upset. We know that men and women have vast differences with females usually crying easier than men and men holding it in. As a male I think both are as distressing as each other. Some that cry easily might not see it that way. I often say to some "but I'm crying inside", somehow crying inside doesn't "cut the mustard" because like mental illness to normal people, it isn't seen so its not happening! That's a male problem we have. On the flip side to a man, females cry easier...so we can become oblivious to its severity. "She's crying, so? she does often", isn't a nice way of tackling someones distress. Both men and women should always be compassionate when their partner/friend is telling them they are not in a good place...crying or not
So crying or holding it in is equally alarming.
I'll focus on men now as I am one. For me, and maybe others, my most distressed moments are either with someone screaming at me when I sit silent just taking it in and not responding or walking off alone and finding a solitary place staring at whatever is in front of me. This is a "time out" period and for me from the beginning of that period when I'm first alone to the end could be from 20 minutes long to 3 hours...I'm contemplating many things like leaving a marriage, how can it work out?, feeling negative. When I return to the family home the first few minutes of contact with my wife proves I was totally over reacting.
This is explained best in the thread
Topic: relationship strife? the peace pipe- beyondblue
In that thread it explains the best way to defuse such a situation and some rules of the home that will prevent a major problem.
That next level is going missing. I've felt the urge over the years to disappear but have never done it. Even heading off into the bush I've told people where I be. That is because love for family and friends no matter the level of distress, its the right thing to do.
Once in my life I attempted to take my life. That was a time when I should have sort help. That was a level of distress that I'd never felt before nor since-uncontrollable crying. Thankfully I turned it around, changed my mindset.
Topic: changing mindsets- beyondblue
let life go on...google
youtube focus on fulfillment maharaji prem rawat
Lifeline 131114
Beyondblue 1300 22 4636
Tony WK
