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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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white knight Willpower- where is yours?
  • replies: 30

Bare with me here. At 17yo having joined the RAAF I was overweight, unfit and just a boy. I found running long distance very hard especially while carrying lots of weight with equipment. During long marches there was running in a troop situation. You... View more

Bare with me here. At 17yo having joined the RAAF I was overweight, unfit and just a boy. I found running long distance very hard especially while carrying lots of weight with equipment. During long marches there was running in a troop situation. You were required to maintain your location in that troop...no matter what. Eventually, feeling exhausted I'd fall drop to the back of the troop where my corporal would yell at me and threaten that if I didnt get back to the front I'd fail. Fail meant likely discharge. I'd sprint up the front and stay running there until I dropped back again. I passed the course but had my corporal not yelled in my ear I would not have ran half that far. I would have given up. Such was my lack of willpower. Obviously I had the physical ability, not the mental determination/strength to carry out my obligations. As adults with a mental disorder we are less likely to have a disciplinarian yelling over our shoulder to "get out of bed..NOW! So the easier thing to do- stay in bed. We are fragile people. We know and accept this. We dont like it, but that's the way it is. However if we acknowledge such shortcomings we are half way towards achieving a goal- to break our mental shackles and challenge ourselves beyond any limits we have ever had before. What might be required is a mentor figure that can tactfully pressure us to take the harder road. Or, for us to develop a plan to gather such strength or change of attitude to achieve the goals we need to implement to improve our daily lives. How do we do this? If doing it alone, we can attend motivation lectures, probe methods to develop positive thinking techniques, enter a new phase of self change and read up on stories of amazing courage by famous people (eg Shackleton, Mandela etc that succeeded against all odds) If you have a willing and loving partner that is tactful, you can include him/her in your plans. You wouldnt want a disciplinarian yelling at you but some firm insistance could be the prompting you need. Just refrain from getting angry at them doing what you've endorsed them to do. You greatest tool with this challenge is honesty with yourself, to recognise your need to be more motivated. Enjoy your new journey of finding your willpower...it's there hiding...but it is there. TonyWK

Skinch The unpredictability of depression
  • replies: 1

Hello, I'm new to this. I suppose that means I have got to the stage of really trying everything. V. briefly...depression for last 16 years, many different medications, stays in clinics to come off and go on new meds. At this time I am coming off an ... View more

Hello, I'm new to this. I suppose that means I have got to the stage of really trying everything. V. briefly...depression for last 16 years, many different medications, stays in clinics to come off and go on new meds. At this time I am coming off an anti-depressant that has made me gain huge amounts of weight. That alone brought me even further down. I am trying, with not much success to succeed without meds. One thing that I would like to share and know if others have this is that sometimes I wake up feeling 'ok.' Think I will do this and that, even take myself for a walk....half an hour later the depression hits like a sledge hammer, the mood goes down and totally without my control, all positive thoughts fly out the window. I try and pinpoint the thought/s that led to this and often cannot. From there the day descends into its usual negativity, the walk seems absolutely impossible, etc etc. I have tried mindfulness. Doesn't work for me. No good at keeping diaries, mood plans etc...I seem to be too pragmatic for all that. I refuse invitations, I cried all day in front of my son, I imagine him remembering this when he grows older. My husband has moved out....he has had enough of my 'negativity'. I cannot afford to see my psychiatrist at over $300 a visit. I have a lot of serious health issues besides depression and it all ends up in a vicious circle of pain and low mood. And yet sometimes, there are glimmers of hope and I even surprise myself by being pleasant to my husband or doing something with my son.....I seem to think that travel is the only thing that makes me really happy, or having a trip to look forward to. With my financial problems this is an impossibility. Isn't depression complicated? Thanks for listening...

Doolhof Discussing Anti Depressant Medications
  • replies: 45

Hi Everyone, Firstly I would like to suggest that you have a read of "Discussing Medication" in the box at the top of the page on this site. We are not allowed to mention the name of medications here but we can discuss the medications in general. I a... View more

Hi Everyone, Firstly I would like to suggest that you have a read of "Discussing Medication" in the box at the top of the page on this site. We are not allowed to mention the name of medications here but we can discuss the medications in general. I am certainly not a medical professional at all, so don't take my word as being correct for all people all the time. This is a place to share your concerns, thoughts and feelings towards anti depressant medications. I'd like to start of my suggesting: - Always talk to your Dr or person who is indicating anti depressants are advisable -Ask the chemist for an information sheet relating to the medication. Don't be concerned by all the side effects that are listed, you may experience none of them! They are listed as a requirement I presume. -If you have any concerns ask the Dr or the chemist - Some medications may take a while to be effective. Discuss this with your Dr - What works for one person may not work the same for you, it could be more effective or less helpful. -Don't stop taking your medication without the Drs advice - Try to take the medication at the same time each day or as required. - Some people do not believe that medication is required, if your Dr has suggested it, I would follow their advice - Medication is just one step to assisting yourself, exercise, a healthy diet, water, sleep and doing pleasant things each day helps as well. This thread is open for anyone to make a comment or to share. Some of you may be knew to the experience of taking anti depressants and may have all kinds of questions. Once again I am certainly not an expert so what I have written are just suggestions. Cheers to you all from Dools

RebeccaL Need some advice, tips, tricks to staying well.
  • replies: 2

Ive recently had surgery on my ankle a couple of days ago, and i am now not allowed to walk on it. i am on non-weight bearing instructions from my surgeon. My question is, i suffer from a bit of depression that is usually well maintained by the fact ... View more

Ive recently had surgery on my ankle a couple of days ago, and i am now not allowed to walk on it. i am on non-weight bearing instructions from my surgeon. My question is, i suffer from a bit of depression that is usually well maintained by the fact that i keep my self very busy, but now that i do not have much to do, i am finding myself in my head a lot more. I am feeling very useless and alone. I've never had many friends in the past but it hasnt bothered me up until yesterday when no one messaged to ask how i was doing. I am unable to make meals for myself and my family do not really help unless its just for dinner. I am getting around ok on crutches but need to keep my foot up. Any advice on what to do or how to cope over the next two to three weeks while in bed and unable to do much? I find that i need to keep busy to keep my mind off over thinking. Any advice would be appreciated. Usually i love having time off but feeling like i am a pain in the bum and useless and alone is pretty awful.

We_all_walk_a_Journey Mental Health Poem
  • replies: 3

I finished writing this poem with a thumping migraine this morning at 3am. Let me know what you think. Have you ever wondered why, Your family and friends can be shy, When you mention mental health, Instead they want to talk about wealth. You just wa... View more

I finished writing this poem with a thumping migraine this morning at 3am. Let me know what you think. Have you ever wondered why, Your family and friends can be shy, When you mention mental health, Instead they want to talk about wealth. You just want them to show they care, And that you have someone with whom to share, Your story you could tell, And maybe even start to get well. If someone would walk the journey with you, Maybe you wouldn't feel so down and blue. If just one day in your shoes they did walk, And listened to you instead of talk, Maybe they could slightly understand, Your struggles that are at hand, For a story that is shared with one who cares for you, Could really help your heart feel anew. If only I could put my hand up and get help, Instead of like a little puppy when hurting give a yelp, Would it be weak to seek professional care, And would a family member or friend take me there? If only you knew, All that i have been through, then maybe you would understand, That i could really use a hand. Thank you for reading this, Hopefully you won't just dismiss, But hearing my cry, You will now understand why. You may feel all alone, And not want to answer your phone, You may live in fear and shed a tear, but all I want is for you to be here. Can I sleep it all away, Or keep those bad thoughts at bay, Knowing that i have a destiny, Planned out for me. My story to tell, To help others get well, Encouraging others to reach out, To get help and know what living is all about.

Ponder Looking for Positive Stories Regarding Medication
  • replies: 2

Our Daughter is staying at our house with her 4 yold autistic son. He is a great kid and has all the support he needs. Unfortunately our daughter has been resistant to receiving support in the past and thus has developed a genitive outlook when it co... View more

Our Daughter is staying at our house with her 4 yold autistic son. He is a great kid and has all the support he needs. Unfortunately our daughter has been resistant to receiving support in the past and thus has developed a genitive outlook when it comes to taking on or making any effort towards recovery. It's a full house here with my other daughter staying here as well. I myself am on a mental health program with supports that come and go regularly to me house. My wife is also on a disability pension for a debilitating condition that gives way to it's own form of depression. These revelations only just scratch the surface to much of an embedded systemic cycle within my family but more over I am tending to reveal just how 'full' our house is at this present time. With this in mind, I totally get my daughters despair and it makes me glad that even despite our presently full house, that she wishes to stay with us in order to avoid the isolation she experiences in her own home. That is a very good acknowledgment on her own part. But here is the thing -it is her wish to google and read up on all the meds she has been prescibed and as a reuslt she is about ready to stop taking them from all the negative stories that abound online. Sid effects, Coming off Meds and associated complications, Obesity, suicidal tendencies and so on. Both my daughter and I are not keen on meds. I myself have my own history, however given the repeated breakdowns and the lack of will to both with alternative lifestyle methods, I with my wife our encouraging our daughter to at least give the meds a try. So it is that I ask: Would someone be kind enough to link as to a couple of positive stories that discuss the benefits of medication when used responsibly in conjunction with positive lifestyle changes. I think most of the negative stories are where people just take the meds and continue to sleep all day and not make any changes. I'm not trying to control my daughter ... I just want to help her ... help herself. I feel there is too much emphasis on self referral these days that leads into too much pressure with complacency leading the way. As parents we have been pushed away by virtually all the services. My daughter my not be asking for help here, but I am and by answering my questions you could well be proving my daughter with helpful assistance. Where are the positive stories an how to make medication work? Cheers & TY

Talon Sick of this merry go round help!!!
  • replies: 2

I am 48 years of age (male) and have been on a merry go round of self destructive thinking for as long as long as I can remember. In the vast majority of situations which involve meeting other people, I start thinking that I’m not accepted, saying th... View more

I am 48 years of age (male) and have been on a merry go round of self destructive thinking for as long as long as I can remember. In the vast majority of situations which involve meeting other people, I start thinking that I’m not accepted, saying the right things, saying enough, not saying enough etc etc. I realise that this type of thinking is in my head and generated by self doubt and wanting to be accepted. I don’t think I’m a bad person, far from it. I try and be decent to people and help out wherever I can. I am a people pleaser, probably at the expense of my own advancement and future. I am not afraid of conflict but do let unfavourable interactions affect me more than they should. I am currently working with my 18 year old son, and he just seems to fit in with the other guys we work with, with ease. He is confident in himself and goes with the flow, having fun interactions with them. Me on the other hand, overthinks everything and I’m sure it shows. I shut down and become extremely quiet. I don’t get it. I am the adult, the one that’s been around for much longer than my son, a supposed example to him and my other 3 children. But no, here I am, feeling weak, like I haven’t grown, advanced, lead by example, as a confident, strong role model I see others doing. It’s been an ongoing cycle with me. I just don’t feel like I’ve ‘grown up’? Hard to explain but gut wrenching and depressing to say the least. Totally over it to be honest. Why do I feel so underdone? Like I haven’t grown, always trying to fit in like a teenager, only to overthink how I’ve acted and is that acceptable, normal, age appropriate and conducive to making long, meaningful, happy, healthy relationships? I’m going through my second separation/divorce and am realising more and more that maybe there is something inherently amiss with the way I am? I am never backward in coming forward to admitting my faults and would appreciate any advice in accepting myself whole heartedly with grace and self confidence. I’m 100% sure this negative thinking and subsequent behaviour has lead to the loss of my 28 year career and two divorces. Not to mention the dislodgement of four young lives.

Rosie321 How to best use my partial capacity to work
  • replies: 1

Hi All, I have been diagnosed with Psychotic Depression having my first and only psychosis three years ago. After that I went on newstart and was so lucky to be screened as only having a partial capacity to work (15-30 hrs per week) this is supposed ... View more

Hi All, I have been diagnosed with Psychotic Depression having my first and only psychosis three years ago. After that I went on newstart and was so lucky to be screened as only having a partial capacity to work (15-30 hrs per week) this is supposed to get reviewed every two years but I'm yet to be reviewed. Ever since then I've been working 25-35 hours a week and not receiving any centelink benefit but my mental health has taken a down turn and I'm about to reduce my working hours to 15 hours per week. Wondering if anyone else is on partial capacity and/or if you have any tips to best use my time while I'm working less. I'm in the disability sector and will be reduced to 1 15 hour shift per week so will affectly have 6 days off a week to work on my mental health. I'll be living on about $500 a week so will need to start being more frugal about my spending. Thanks all

Doolhof I want to learn from the past and move forward!
  • replies: 42

Hi Everyone, We have returned from our holiday. I can sit here and think about the things that did not go so well or I can remember the good and enjoyable parts and expand on them. Now I am home, I have the opportunity to create new situations, exper... View more

Hi Everyone, We have returned from our holiday. I can sit here and think about the things that did not go so well or I can remember the good and enjoyable parts and expand on them. Now I am home, I have the opportunity to create new situations, experiences, circumstances and actions. I don't need to return to the old way of doing life that did not work so well for me all the time. I have an opportunity to create a new and different existence and way of thinking! I need to believe I can do this! I need to also realise life with depression and anxiety is part of my reality, I need to find and put in place actions and behaviours that will help me accept all of my life, the good, the bad and the not so pleasant. Cheers to you all from Dools

white knight Vulnerable? Dwelling? Unprotected?
  • replies: 1

Most of us are weakened by our mental illness. We are in the minority, we are not part of the majority and the majority rules. So add to that naivity of mental illness with pseudo medical expertise that results in "just snap out of it" comments we gr... View more

Most of us are weakened by our mental illness. We are in the minority, we are not part of the majority and the majority rules. So add to that naivity of mental illness with pseudo medical expertise that results in "just snap out of it" comments we grow frustrated. Futhermore if we decide not to counter/defend ourselves immediately inappropriate comments are unleashed we suffer the fallout from that in terms of regret, guilt and dwelling. Not to mention anxiety from future comments we plan to make...to counterattack. If you are at home and suffer a violent home invasion would you fight back if you had opportunity? If you were a paraplegic would you react if someone told you to "get up and walk"? Isaac Newton found that an action of force takes an equal reaction. The gravity of a tennis ball in your hand is a downward force. Your hand has an equal forve upwards to hold the ball stationary. So in theory if we apply it to our vulnerable lives, unless we counter other peoples words or actions we are sitting ducks and in a world where the strongest survive we better take action. If you have a reputation of taking abuse, such abuse will multiply The second step after realisation is developing strategies for self protection. A defense is highligjted in (use google) Topic: fortress of survival- beyondblue But we cant put up walls for every situation. We have to have a list of responses to verbally respond to the onslaught of the "crusher", the person that prays on the weak. Be prepared to limit your hurt and defend your sensitive and emotional fragility by countrring with direct phrases. Or you'll be walked all over. All questions answered. Tony WK