Staying well

How do you approach a potential employer about a wage subsidy

replies: 6

I am applying for positions all over the place and like so many, not getting any reply. I would like to let potential employers know about the wage subsidy they could access if they employ me but I'm not sure how to do this. Has anyone found a tactfu... View more

I am applying for positions all over the place and like so many, not getting any reply. I would like to let potential employers know about the wage subsidy they could access if they employ me but I'm not sure how to do this. Has anyone found a tactful way? Do I mention it in my letter of introduction? Tell the employment agency to ring them? Try to speak to someone in the organisation before applications close? Or just wait until I get hired and then go, "Congratulations, you just won the Lotto! I come with a bonus set of steak knives!" I feel like the wage subsidy would be a good incentive to look more closely at my application, even if my experience is a bit old or maybe there is another candidate with a perfect employment record.

Writing as Helpful Hobby

replies: 1

Hi All, A little hobby I found really helped me when I was pretty depressed that I thought I would share is writing fiction. How it worked for me was I created characters (only semi intentionally) that reflected different aspects of my personality an... View more

Hi All, A little hobby I found really helped me when I was pretty depressed that I thought I would share is writing fiction. How it worked for me was I created characters (only semi intentionally) that reflected different aspects of my personality and put them in a over dramatized version of situation I had found myself in and just wrote what came naturally. I didn’t set out to create characters in that way it more so just happened as one can only really write from ones own imagination ad experiences anyway. I found it very helpful in just getting thoughts out there and in some ways conversations between characters helped make real some of the circular thoughts I got in my head when feeling depressed/anxious as instead of being mingled together in your head they are separated out into discrete ‘person’s' who speak one after the other, so I was able to focus on each ‘voice’ one at a time while writing. While not all voices are nice in terms of self talk it helped me to remember that not all my self talk was negative only some of it and that voice can be countered my other ones that are still mine. It also provided a way much like other hobbies of getting into a ‘flow’ mental state and often more frequently than other hobbies I have- the reason being is whilst for say a sport you need to be at the place with the equipment etc. to get into that zone, if you’re writing fiction you can come up with ideas/scenarios/conversations at any time in your head (on train, waiting in line or something those quiet moments that can sometimes be hard to sit alone with yourself.). So might not work for everyone but might help someone so I encourage anyone who likes stories and is looking to try something different to help with their anxiety/depression to give it a go.

Alcohol - destroyer of families and souls

replies: 1

Hi Little bit background. I am just over 60, my wife has just turned 48. We have been married 18 years have two beautiful daughters. My wife is an alcoholic, serious demonsare emerging and I don't know what to do. Reading some of the posts from other... View more

Hi Little bit background. I am just over 60, my wife has just turned 48. We have been married 18 years have two beautiful daughters. My wife is an alcoholic, serious demonsare emerging and I don't know what to do. Reading some of the posts from others is like reading our story. Narcissism, my fault she drinks, life like walking on eggshells, and now she wants to move out after a huge argument over nothing in which my youngest daughter also got involved because she is tired of hearing us fight and me being blamed for things that are just not right. It's is not an option, I am self employed have been most of my life and therefore almost unemployable at such an age. I have to keep working at what I do but that means extended periods of travel overseas (sometimes 2 weeks, sometimes a few months but family flies to join me when school holidays are on). I hate it but it's life. Work is very irregular, 2 years ago minimal work , home for almost 10 months. Then had an 9 week and 5 month contracts the following year. I get paid well WHEN I am working. I am not here to debate this is a factor in "confused lifestyle" which brings pressure or stress. But we have no other options believe me I have tried to find alternatives. The kids still at school, mortgage and bills have to be paid. I tell you all this because if she moves out I can no longer work and that will destroy our family, everything we have worked for. Her story is one of confused life, widow met widower (children both sides) then came my wife. Her mother died when she was young which hurts her and cause of much sadness. She hated her domineering father, her sisters did their best to raise her but domineered her life. Finally out she moved in with chap who hit her and she left. She does have history of habitual use of cigarettes, alcohol and (no longer)cannabis). She was a totally different person in early years of marriage. But now age, changes in life for BOTH of us don't help the situation. She has some back and hip problems which she thinks drinking helps with, refuses medications but alcohol is replacing food. Will not got to AA. The only time we fight is when she is drunk. I try t do what is recommended give her space, not argue but sometimes the hurt inflcited gets the better of me and I argue back. I just don't know how to handle this anymore, what to do. Our kids are beside themselves with fear of family breakup. I love her totally, need her, want her - I just don't want the alcoholic !

Downsizing lifestyle

replies: 3

Hey everyone; I'm at a time in life where living alone brings a few fears up. Being in a low income community where break-ins happen regularly, no-one close to rely on in an emergency, living far from the CBD and resources, not many friends, paying a... View more

Hey everyone; I'm at a time in life where living alone brings a few fears up. Being in a low income community where break-ins happen regularly, no-one close to rely on in an emergency, living far from the CBD and resources, not many friends, paying a mortgage along with rates etc and stamp duty on any property I end up buying away from the insecurity of this area. I've been looking into over 50's lifestyle villages where there's no stamp duty, onsite pool, clubhouse amenities, close to beaches/CBD/medical/activities and a social life I couldn't get anywhere else. This also means there's always people to count on in an emergency or when I'm lonely. And no, this isn't an advertisement! lol I don't work but I'd like to. Passing on what I've learnt over my life (part-time of course) is an attractive option too, bringing in much needed extra income. What's the problem you ask? I'm scared. Anxiety keeps me not only procrastinating, but frozen some days with trepidation. Moving or staying is a huge decision to make at retirement age. How do others feel about my situation and what would you, or have you done? Thanks

Singles Support on BB

replies: 60

Hi, This might seem like a odd thread for me to create but... In my time here at beyond blue, I have come upon a number of users who have reported about the loneliness of being single, never having a girl friend, never will find a partner, not being ... View more

Hi, This might seem like a odd thread for me to create but... In my time here at beyond blue, I have come upon a number of users who have reported about the loneliness of being single, never having a girl friend, never will find a partner, not being in a relationship etc. Many users put there stories in new threads each day, so existing users might not be able to find these other users and therefore might not be able to lend a hand of support. Some users might feel they are the only ones to experience this problem. So to help (?) users with similar problems I thought a thread where users, male or female, might eb able to support each other, and create connections even if in a virtual space. I hope you will find this space helpful... Tim

ANGER -> are you reactive or mindful when responding to people? *New members are very welcome to contribute

replies: 85

Firstly I want to thank Karen, (Ggrand) who ignited my idea for this thread. (Not pun intended lol) Are you 'reactive' when confronting someone? Do you run away, or step back and 'think' before you speak? These are important questions about anger and... View more

Firstly I want to thank Karen, (Ggrand) who ignited my idea for this thread. (Not pun intended lol) Are you 'reactive' when confronting someone? Do you run away, or step back and 'think' before you speak? These are important questions about anger and especially rage. I'm sure everyone who visits these forums will have at some point in their lives experienced out of control reactions or even 'inaction' that they regret or question afterwards. Eg..."Why didn't I say anything?" or "I shouldn't have said anything." Personally, I'm no stranger to the effects of reactive anger. It took me many yrs to address and finally defeat as an ineffective and damaging personality trait. I still struggle sometimes, but more times than not, I deal with it productively. Anger's a normal animal/human reaction for survival. It goes hand in hand with Fight or Flight responses to keep us safe and alive. What modern society's done though, is create confusion, denial and fear in understanding what a 'threat' actually is. There are so many 'rules of engagement' outlined in our laws and cultural niceties, we're stifled trying to identify when a 'real' threat is immanent and, how to approach matters effectively...nature vs nurture. I think this is a discussion we really 'need' to have. It plays into our recovery and how we want to live our lives in peace with confidence. Are you known as an angry person, a fence sitter or passive/aggressive for instance? These are all tied into our responses to internal or external anger. For the sake of this thread topic, I'd like to keep anecdotes etc to personal experience and not about 'others'; to look at ourselves for answers. I'm eager to hear your thoughts... Sez

Desperate to find me

replies: 1

Hi, i just don’t know where to start I’m 28, a mum of two (one 4yo one 2yo) and have a partner whom I wish to spend the rest of my life with but I’m so sure that it’s not going to very fairytale like for three years now I have been trying to get a jo... View more

Hi, i just don’t know where to start I’m 28, a mum of two (one 4yo one 2yo) and have a partner whom I wish to spend the rest of my life with but I’m so sure that it’s not going to very fairytale like for three years now I have been trying to get a job, I apply to a minimum of 25jobs a week my confidence is shot my glasses are broken (missing an arm) and I can’t afford to fix them (no not even off the cheap shelves in spec savers) hubby to be and I sleep on a mattress on the floor have my sisters old broken couch my Nan’s 30od year old fridge and freezer my washing machine is on its last legs, my debt left from before I hadn’t a job are about 7000 not including the 16,000 I need to pay my partners parents back for paying off my car to stop it being collected for debt and I cant pay them, our diet is bad we have spaghetti, chicken tonight or curried sausages with rice or pasta for dinner never anything else unless someone’s treating us cereal for the kids for breakfast sandwiches for lunch and some fruit for kids that’s all we can afford i left my job of 7years because of how miserable it made me and I thought getting a new job was the best idea little did I know the new job would let me go just before my probation was up I’m miserable I used to be organised, outgoing, fit now I just binge watch shows, shower every few days, I never want people to come over because I can’t keep on top of the house (I get my brother in-law to be to do the dishes & washing every day as he lives with us rent free because he’s 21 and also struggling to find employment) Not that anyone would come over except family or my one friend i bearly want to get out of bed and do stuff with my kids I used to be so on top of taking them out and teaching new things nowadays their dad and uncle are parenting them they’re always so messy always arguing and NEVER listen discipline doesn’t work!! and it just breaks me down everyday to the point I scream or cry. I’m also angry all the time like he smallest of things sends me into a rage I have to lock myself in my room and I don’t talk to anyone until I calm down which some days I don’t. I don’t know how to talk to the mums at school without feeling like they want me to shut up and go away or feeling like I’m trying to hard to fit in or something I can’t lose weight because the fruit and veggies alone will blow our budget let alone being to lazy and scared to exercise how do I find myself again and get rid of this messy monster I’ve become!?

Had the courage to re -enter the workplace

replies: 9

Hi All, I just caught up with my firm that I left a few months back because of this crippling anxiety. I put my hand up for another oppurtunity With them. The anxiety all came back but was equally met with the warmth and inspiration that the office g... View more

Hi All, I just caught up with my firm that I left a few months back because of this crippling anxiety. I put my hand up for another oppurtunity With them. The anxiety all came back but was equally met with the warmth and inspiration that the office gives. Very friendly people have welcomed me back I start Monday, thats the first step accomplished (pat myself in the back). second step is to get the momentum going. feels daunting and exciting at the same time

30 Day Healthy Habits Challenge

replies: 2

Hello! Firstly, a bit of background on me. I'm 16, was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 13 years old. Last year I went through a severe depressive episode which caused me to miss half of my school year, move schools and overall just put me an... View more

Hello! Firstly, a bit of background on me. I'm 16, was diagnosed with anxiety and depression at 13 years old. Last year I went through a severe depressive episode which caused me to miss half of my school year, move schools and overall just put me and the people around me in a crappy situation. I'm glad to say I'm doing much better, but definitely not doing my best or anywhere near it. I am stuck in a rut. My default answer to "how are you?" is "meh, alright". Life should be SO MUCH MORE than "alright". I have so many crazy dreams and things I want to do, I have this picture of an ideal me in my mind. And get this- I know exactly how to get to this "ideal me". I have EVERYTHING I need to reach my goals. But here I am, stuck on autopilot doing the same boring things everyday, not feeling like myself and honestly, feeling miserable. I watched Mel Robbins TED talk "How to stop screwing yourself over". It's a long talk and I'll try to summarise what she says, but I would encourage you to watch it if you're feeling stuck. She has such a motivating, "no bullsh*t" kind of attitude that I respect. She said to get what you want,is SIMPLE but NOT EASY. You have to force yourself, get out of your head, get past your feelings and outside of your comfort zone. See? Sounds simple but when you actually try to do these things, it's not that easy. Her TED talk + some other articles/videos I viewed, have inspired me to challenge myself to do the things I always say I'll do (but never actually do). Starting tomorrow on 23/05/19, I am going to start doing these habits everyday for 30 days- - wake up at 6am (even on weekends!) - exercise for 30 minutes everyday - do not go on technology 30 minutes after waking up and 30 minutes before going to bed. - Limit myself to one unhealthy treat a day and drink 2 litres of water daily - Study for at least 40 minutes daily - write down three things I am grateful for before bed - do something out of my comfort zone (this could be so many different things- talking to someone new, wearing something you are usually too scared to wear, confronting someone about your feelings, trying a new food or activity, etc) - write in my journal - stretch for 10 minutes before bedtime

Finding Employment While Unwell

replies: 6

I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve been unemployed most of my life. I desperately want to work and make a positive contribution to the community. My work history is obviously lousy, and when I apply for jobs this is extremely evident, I simply don’t ge... View more

I’m embarrassed to say that I’ve been unemployed most of my life. I desperately want to work and make a positive contribution to the community. My work history is obviously lousy, and when I apply for jobs this is extremely evident, I simply don’t get any response from employers, although I’m qualified in a high demand occupation. Knowing that I’m unwell and knowing that the best thing for me is to be active, how do I get a job? How do I have a conversation with potential employers? How do I get a foot in the door? Where are the MI friendly employers?

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A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members

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