Hey what's up, Man, today has been a good day. The first one I can
honestly say in the past couple of weeks. With the whole corona virus
changes going on I've really felt out of sorts. My routine has changed a
lot as my usual coping tools have been E...
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Hey what's up, Man, today has been a good day. The first one I can
honestly say in the past couple of weeks. With the whole corona virus
changes going on I've really felt out of sorts. My routine has changed a
lot as my usual coping tools have been EXTREMELY limited. Along with the
additional stress of my partner's employment uncertainty, the kids being
at home, and my university studies I've really had to put firm action
into keeping my head together. But, I'm finally having some success.
I've walked with depression, PTSD, and addiction undiagnosed and
untreated up until 6 years ago (when I was 27). I was an absolute mess,
then I hit rock bottom and reached out. I struggled with accepting that
my own way of being had landed me in a hospital ward on suicide watch,
but I knew I had no where else to go, nothing I did seemed to work for
me in getting out how I was feeling. Hopeless and pathetic. I was put on
medication and had some time in hospital to stabilise before they sent
me home. But guess what (?) Nothing changed. I was doing the same old
thing, surpassing the same old demons, in denial that I could keep going
in my career if old I could pull myself up from my boot straps that bit
higher. and guess what happened.... 6 months later another visit to the
ward, however this time the only way I was getting out was via detox and
rehab. I remember feeling so broken, in my then realisation, that I
could not do life. Not like how my wife seemed to do it, my friends, or
everyone else I had met throughout my life. Why couldn't I do this
living thing right! Am I the only one not getting this? ... and how a
relief it was to meet other like me. Who felt with months struggling to
feel .... anything. Who were haunted by their past, and couldn't be
comfortable in their own skin. I'm so grateful to have met these people.
We talk about how we struggled on a daily basis to emotionally regulated
and shared tools and techniques in being responsible for our health and
routines that help us in living a for-filled life with our "monsters". I
spent the next 3 years addressing my stuff. I worked with my GP about
getting the proper meds for me, I reached out to social communities for
support, I saw a psychologist (and still do), and I tried every
suggestion that was presented to me. From self-help work shops,
meditation retreats, mens circles to overseas adventures. All to find
what works for me to flourish in my new life. Looking forward to hearing
y'all. MM
A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
