Let's concentrate on what we know, rather than what we don't know.
We know that with most things in life can be a snowball, in that once we begin something- it can become a domino to greater things. Every gold medalist starts with the first step.
With our mind struggles we usually do not have the capacity to do anything but wait it out. Our abilities seem to fall by the wayside like employment, tolerance, day to day tasks and sadly ..giving love to others. We seem to be at their mercy and during this period we do not realise that they, our closest support...are hurting also as they struggle without any capability to "fix" the problem.
All animals care for each other. The parents of the 3 newborn ducklings waddling around out home at the moment are no different to us, protecting, loving and teaching, one of the most potent assets we can harness is love.
Love comes in so many divisions under that one word, affection, support, availability, care, kind words, providing, expression of appreciation, acts of kindness and so on. As I've grown older (63yo) I've found that giving love has to be the most effective act in any recovery. Why?
My father (dec) was "the salt of the land" and he always said "walk in another's shoes to know truly how they feel". That however, isn't as automatic among humans as we'd wish. Toxicity will always occur with relationships so we should develop a "revolving door" to friendships for the toxic to create separation of our goodwill to be served to those that are of similar mind. We often do not have methods of safe screening, we invite all and sundry into our inner circle which causes us harm. Here is part one and two of the Fortress of survival that cover that.
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/fortress-of-survival#qlnNPnHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A
https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/fortress-of-survival-part-2#qr3mhnHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A
So to reach out to our carer that endure our illness is the best reward you can give them. A hand emerging from under your doona to touch them needs no words, a stroke of their hair when you walk past wont slow your tasks, a "thankyou, I love you" takes but 5 seconds that creates a smile lasting a minute maybe 5 times during that day. Love is part of your survival strategy that will be returned because you are emitting kindness. Love is a powerful tool, a deep and wonderful gift...exploit it, cradle it and give it away.
TonyWK
