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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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MasonVR Starting help
  • replies: 2

Hi all, been really struggling with myself the past 2 years or so. Genuinely that scared of seeing someone for help but its been that tough lately something has to happen. sometimes lifes a bit much and i dont know how ill get theough life. The const... View more

Hi all, been really struggling with myself the past 2 years or so. Genuinely that scared of seeing someone for help but its been that tough lately something has to happen. sometimes lifes a bit much and i dont know how ill get theough life. The constant lack of motivation and daily anxiety has been bloody hard, however im scared of seeing a gp about my struggles. I dont know how to approach this as ive got noone to talk to about these issues. how do i approach this? cheers

Mezzz Work peers avoiding me
  • replies: 2

Hi Everyone, I am a 21 year old girl who has recently started a job as a graduate in a technology company. Several other Graduates are also in this graduate position with me. We were introduced to previous grads from day one. I had noticed that they ... View more

Hi Everyone, I am a 21 year old girl who has recently started a job as a graduate in a technology company. Several other Graduates are also in this graduate position with me. We were introduced to previous grads from day one. I had noticed that they go for coffee and lunch without me. At first I didn't mind, but it continued, I would ask them to go for coffee they would say no because they were busy. Then 10 minutes later I would go alone and I find them getting coffee together when they had just told me they were too busy. They also had a farewell breakfast to one of the previous grads who we all met on day one. That morning I joined a co-worker to the cafe, and found Everyone, graduates and non graduates having breakfast together, I had no idea this was even something they planed on doing. They would bring kebab for lunch as a group without bothering to ask if wanted to get some as well. They have their own group chat, which they plan everything on. It has gotten to a point where they plan about getting coffee and asking someone to join because they didn't join yesterday right in front of me. As grads we have a project we are working on, every time I have an idea they always make me feel like what I contributed was incorrect. I all ways ask my self what have I done to them? I promise I have done nothing that could upset them or anyone. Some times I think it's because of my background and culture. Maybe because I am to shy, I try my best to talk and joke but they just never seen to care about anything I say or try to say. I can say that I am not used to this amount of socializing, but they can help me if they give me a chance to express my self. I may seem to be making a big deal about this, but I have my reasons, I have been avoided and ignored since my early primary school years. I understood then that been because I was from a middle Eastern background it made made me avoidable. But why now why at this time of life?, I was hoping being an adult and and being in a work place would be different then my school years. It just hurts and I want to understand, why? Can anyone help me figure out why this are like this to me?? Is there something wrong with me? Have I done something wrong? Thank you

white knight Who cries over spilt milk?
  • replies: 33

That's the saying. "You're crying over spilt milk". It implies you are hanging onto something that should have been forgotten about many moons ago. The guilt. The shame. The anger of something past. If you are one of these people then you have also l... View more

That's the saying. "You're crying over spilt milk". It implies you are hanging onto something that should have been forgotten about many moons ago. The guilt. The shame. The anger of something past. If you are one of these people then you have also likely been told "get over it". But I've never seen tablets for sale with the words "get over your guilt with one tablet a day". So what do we do to rid ourselves from guilt? There are a number of things you can do to assist in the process of these demonic forms of baggage. - Time- time is a great healer. It means you accept that the issue will remain fresh in your mind until a certain amount of time passes. The amount of time depends on the person and the issue. But acceptance by you that time is needed is an encouraging step. Perspective- When young, at childs age, we tend to exaggerate incidences. This is quite normal. When we grow up sometimes we hang onto those explosions of fact. This can remain in our minds as bigger than what they really were. Or smaller too than what they were. Accurate perspective is required and sometimes this is only possible with psychiatric treatment. Correct perspective on a smaller scale however starts with ultimate honesty internally. It is a beginning. Forgiveness. So much time might have passed whereby seeking forgiveness from someone isnt in your best interests. On the other hand seeking forgiveness by a parent to their child might well be in order not only to help with your guilt but to help your child mend. Consider forgiveness from you or to another person. If your efforts were in vain at least you have taken a step towards mending your own ills Accepting you are human. We all make mistakes. Some are unforgivable like sexual harm to a child. Other than those unforgivable acts many mistakes can be redeemed. But one should also accept that if you did the best you could at a certain time in your life then try to accept that. This is where you have to think things through. Therapy. Giving burden to you immediate family isnt fair on them. If you can seek therapy then you are seeking the assistance of someone trained in that field. Try it. Forums. Beyond Blue are anonymous. There is also plenty of reading on such topics there. That's their advantage. Guilt can eat you up. It can consume you. There is no need to cry over spilt milk. Find ways of dealing with it. Crying over spilt milk is one thing suffering or ruining your life over it is another. WK

Mads_ positive story - seeking help
  • replies: 3

hi all, I just had a really good experience, so I thought I would share it on here, and hopefully encourage anyone in the same boat as me. I just told my mum about how I'm feeling, and how I'm not coping at all. I was so scared to, I felt as though m... View more

hi all, I just had a really good experience, so I thought I would share it on here, and hopefully encourage anyone in the same boat as me. I just told my mum about how I'm feeling, and how I'm not coping at all. I was so scared to, I felt as though my heart would jump out of my chest! she was very accepting and we've booked an appointment to get me some help. honestly, if you're contemplating telling a loved one, please do! its like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I'm feeling happy for the first time in ages!! thanks for reading!!

Mads_ getting help
  • replies: 3

hi all, ive decided that im going to ask my mum (im not an adult so I cant do it myself) if I would be able to speak to someone about what im feeling. I don't feel comfortable talking to her or my dad about it however, I wouldd prefer its someone I d... View more

hi all, ive decided that im going to ask my mum (im not an adult so I cant do it myself) if I would be able to speak to someone about what im feeling. I don't feel comfortable talking to her or my dad about it however, I wouldd prefer its someone I don't know well. do you think its bad to do this? also if anyone has any suggestion about how to approach her it would be greatly appreciated. thanks in advance

Clairbearclair Stuck??
  • replies: 2

I am pregnant and close to my due date, i work for the government and on maternity leave and this is my second pregnancy. I have a supportive partner that does everything within his means. He works a full time job and has to travel a hour and a half ... View more

I am pregnant and close to my due date, i work for the government and on maternity leave and this is my second pregnancy. I have a supportive partner that does everything within his means. He works a full time job and has to travel a hour and a half to get there, 3 days a week our son makes the commute with him to go to daycare. We have been trying very hard to secure a rental in the area, recently i requested some feedback and decided it is best to leave our dog and our cat behind with my parent's where they are happy but it is just depressing. The other problem is money all of a sudden, we got messed around with our pregnancy insurance and i am seeing a specialist obstetrician, i have paid a large amount of it off but still have a 4000 bill, and the hospital is charging me 2600 because our specialist is a private doctor. Even though it's all inclusive. I really wish i didn't bother with pregnancy insurance and going private. If i wasn't so close to my due date, i could have time to see a public specialist. But i am so close and bubs is sitting very low now.. and i have already paid a lot and done all the care with this Dr? I have ptsd from violence in my childhood and when i was pregnant last my partner and i briefly split so i was alone with the labour and although we were able to work through our differences the separation destroyed me and i never truly got over it until a year ago. So being pregnant again it's bringing up some old feelings even though i thought they were resolved from the bottom of my heart? I need to add (sorry) i am the person in the relationship that does all the organising, all the bills and money saving and appts and deadlines for things. My partner does as much as he can but i don't know what to think. I don't know what to do, i am too overwhelmed and i am miserable now. We have to pay the bills now and the Dr is saying a payment plan is fine but the ladies at his reception were oh so god damn rude and made me feel less of a human, even giving me a ultimatum because i missed 1 payment but it was their fault not mine and they didn't want to admit fault. The Dr says his sorry about it please don't worry about them but how can i not after what was said? I never been confronted like that in my life and i work for government. I cried on the spot and they did it to me in front of my 3 yr old boy. I have gone from feeling really confident and cheerful about this pregnancy to really down, stressed crying and stuck in this house.

arimadik13 I’m worried about my eating
  • replies: 2

I’ve really struggled with body image issues since I was about 9. I always had a strong and athletic figure as a kid, and when I entered my teens I had curves much before my peers but was still a healthy weight and size (if anything I was leaning tow... View more

I’ve really struggled with body image issues since I was about 9. I always had a strong and athletic figure as a kid, and when I entered my teens I had curves much before my peers but was still a healthy weight and size (if anything I was leaning toward under weight). I have always been self conscious and had a relationship with food that involved a lot of guilt. I put on weight last year (10kg) and began a starvation diet not long ago, and ended up losing the weight. I became vegetarian/gluten free/dairy free and wouldn’t eat more than 600 calories per day. Even eating at all would give me huge feelings of guilt and I would cry uncontrollably because I felt so bad about putting anything in my body. It has now turned into something I can’t stop. I thought once I lost the weight I could get out of that mindset but it’s still gripping me. This is exacerbated by family telling me how bad I looked with the extra weight, and how much better I look now. I don’t feel like I can talk to anyone in my life about it and am really at a loss for what to do. My mother has also always had bad body image issues and has almost encouraged them in me. She is also trying to lose weight and it’s like she almost sees it as a competition. She got mad about family commenting about my weight and now isn’t being very nice to me. It’s just making things worse. I feel so alone and trapped in my head. Does anyone have any suggestions.

romantic_thi3f Are there any games that you play to help you stay well?
  • replies: 10

Hi all, I've been reading a lot lately about games for mental health (mainly anxiety and depression) and how gaming can help a lot - both for people struggling with illness but also in recovery. One of my favourites is SuperBetter which is an app tha... View more

Hi all, I've been reading a lot lately about games for mental health (mainly anxiety and depression) and how gaming can help a lot - both for people struggling with illness but also in recovery. One of my favourites is SuperBetter which is an app that helps you 'level up' with different everyday tasks - even simple things like going for a walk or texting a friend. It's free too - on Android and IOS. Is there any games that you really enjoy? Any that you find helps you switch off or feel like yourself again?

David Nobody I feel as if I have *finished*
  • replies: 12

Hi, I’m back, and I’m still not achieving anything productive, and I’m back to thinking “what is the point?” My “salary continuance” is going to run out in November/January (depending on which date they use, start of “issue”, or start of payment) and... View more

Hi, I’m back, and I’m still not achieving anything productive, and I’m back to thinking “what is the point?” My “salary continuance” is going to run out in November/January (depending on which date they use, start of “issue”, or start of payment) and I don’t have anything to replace it, or know if I need/want anything to replace it. Psychiatrist has said “I’m good to not see her for 6 months” (about 4 months ago I think). Psychologist is ongoing with an appointment every 4/5 weeks. But not a lot of progress, I’m on a long plateau. Weekly “group sessions” are basically a check-in and pass the time. I’m occupying my time writing, but that is exactly what I am doing, “occupying my time”. I get no real enjoyment from it, and there is added pressure (that I put on myself mostly) to get a certain amount written each day. The lack of sales/interest has reduced the pressure from the outside world as I can now say “see I told you”, and the do-gooders-with-the-best-of-intentions are backing off. I’m Half-heartedly looking for a job, similar to the one I chucked to get myself into this ludicrous situation. Approx 10 applications a week for the last month or so, with 1/4 saying “no thank you”, and 3/4 non reply. I’m eligible for Centrelink work placement assistance, so am probably eligible for a disability pension. That and my super would cover costs, and money from inevitable inheritance would close any gaps. Health/exercise/weight/food/sleep/sun are stable, not getting worse, but neither are they getting better. And lack of weight loss over the last year, with significant effort to reducing it, doesn’t help motivation. That and I really don’t care, I only do it because I am told. Blaming the medication would be an easy answer, but that would only be an excuse. I have no interest either in pursuing friendships or relationships. And I’ve forgotten my point in writing this... as I have forgotten many things. N

NahiV Feeling demotivated after almost 2 years of job search in my field.
  • replies: 1

Hello, I graduated with a Masters degree in Accounting and Finance in 2017 and since then have been applying to jobs in my field. However I am still unable to secure even an interview and it is so disheartening. I dont know what I am doing wrong and ... View more

Hello, I graduated with a Masters degree in Accounting and Finance in 2017 and since then have been applying to jobs in my field. However I am still unable to secure even an interview and it is so disheartening. I dont know what I am doing wrong and I feel like such a failure. I have been working in food service since I graduated, and I am currently doing a course which gives me some extra skills to add to my CV related to Accounting. I am also a migrant in this country with little local experience and most places I apply to requires you to have permanent residency which I have applied for, but will take time to process. I just feel hopeless and although I spend ages on my cover letter and cv, it seems like no one is interested in hiring me. I just have this mentality everyday like "what is the point?". I live with my husband and my in laws and I just want to be able to afford to move out and have our own place. My husband has a mental disability and is unable to work, which is hard too... Anyway thank you for hearing me out