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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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anna3 recovery!
  • replies: 11

Hey, I'm relatively new to all this and only checked out the website this year. I just wanted to share with everyone what it felt like for me when I started to recover and get my old life back, because I remember how hard it was to imagine I went thr... View more

Hey, I'm relatively new to all this and only checked out the website this year. I just wanted to share with everyone what it felt like for me when I started to recover and get my old life back, because I remember how hard it was to imagine I went through my most recent bout of depression. 1. I can make decisions again! I no longer go food shopping and spend 20 minutes in each aisle trying to figure out what to get. 2. I notice when I do something well! I can feel pleased with myself when I finish an assignment. 3. What people might think of me no longer dictates what I do. I can chat to the friendly-looking lady on the bus and enjoy the conversation instead of wanting to escape. 4. I feel like the future is exciting again and I remember why I chose to do my course (Outdoor Education). When I was depressed I was not only feeling crap but also trying to re-plan my life around the new, unhappy 'me'. 5. I can help other people AND let other people help me, instead of feeling useless and totally reliant on my mum or dad. 6. I have energy- so much energy! I wake up and instead of the day seeming impossible it is now full of little enjoyments and happy moments. Sometimes I even stay in bed just because it's comfortable! (And not because I'm trying to hide) These are just the things that came to me as I was writing this. There are many, many more. I would be interested to read what things you guys noticed during your last recovery, or at the moment if you are not currently affected by depression. This movie is what made me want to write my list: http://www.youtube.com/movie/the-crash-reel -If you have a spare $6 and a couple of hours I highly, highly recommend it. It is about a 21 year old (same as me) guy who gets a brain injury from snowboarding. His judgement of what he can and cannot do is affected by his injury much the same as I found with my depression. Unlike him though, my illness was not permanent and I am now enjoying me hard-earned perspective and sensitivity to happiness. Thinking of anyone who reads this because they are trying to escape the constant misery that is depression. You're doing it tough. Try to be gentle and understanding to yourself during this period, that is how I first found some brief relief.

Scotty2013 Cyber Bullying
  • replies: 5

Hi guys for about 3 months i been a member on a group in Facebook, Last friday a Admin also who runs an anxiety support network sent the most nasty emails calling me a freak, and said she was following me around face book groups. I find this behavior... View more

Hi guys for about 3 months i been a member on a group in Facebook, Last friday a Admin also who runs an anxiety support network sent the most nasty emails calling me a freak, and said she was following me around face book groups. I find this behavior unacceptable from a professional, and its left me shaken . How do i handle this, i feel i dont trust anyone anymore., I dont feel like posting anything since then... Thanks Scotty. Here is a few things what she wrote many of the Emails... I find this disturbing for someone working in a Mental Health Capacity and It's left me very un trusting of websites now, and its set me back in reaching out. Below are the emails.. Group switched on, you unfortunately NOT. Just sit in your little house and play online 24/7.....in a way I feel sorry for you dude. Well I am off as I have better things to do and catch up with my friends at my favourite club. Enjoy cruizzziiingggg all your groups. you little piece of s*** Well guess what? I am going to be your worst nightmare. I am a smart person and a f**** hard arse who will give it you when you least expect it. Other members despise you freak. YOU ARE DEAD MEAT Adios amigo

Chickadee After recovery - decision making
  • replies: 5

Has anyone found that their ability to make decisions remains poor even after "recovery". I can make the small ones fine, like what to buy for dinner. But I am completely stuck at making any long term decision, especially if it will affect others or ... View more

Has anyone found that their ability to make decisions remains poor even after "recovery". I can make the small ones fine, like what to buy for dinner. But I am completely stuck at making any long term decision, especially if it will affect others or I can't predict the outcome. I freeze in fear of getting it wrong. For example, I've been trying to choose a paint colour for about a year, and planning a holiday to anywhere I haven't been before is impossible as I simply can't sort through all the options and simple decisions like where to stay. I don't remember being like this prior to depression, so am curious if it is an after affect of depression, or just me getting older! As background, I've had one episode of major depression four or five years ago for which I was treated (anti depressants, therapy) and I'd consider myself recovered. I had a previous episode nine years ago, post natal, that was untreated. Thanks.

Walter Anti-bullying! Pro-resilience!
  • replies: 3

Hello. This is my first posting. I'm writing this as someone who has been impacted by the suicide of a 29 year old daughter. A beautiful child and young woman who suffered from chronic depression for many years. In fact, she was under the care of a m... View more

Hello. This is my first posting. I'm writing this as someone who has been impacted by the suicide of a 29 year old daughter. A beautiful child and young woman who suffered from chronic depression for many years. In fact, she was under the care of a mental health clinic at the time of her death. I believe the primary cause of her depression was the relentless disdain and bullying of her peers during school years. I'm no stranger to emotional and physical trauma. Lost my mother to a drunken hit and run driver when I was 13. Family broken up. Sporting career ended by motor bike smash at 18. Great for many years but was then diagnosed with Parkinson's at age 60 and lost my daughter at 64. Our family was rocked by the suicide of wife, sister and daughter and has left me with a deep resolve to endeavour to use what I have learned to try to help others combat the negative impacts experienced in life with positive, resilience building resolve. My personal contribution, with help from a friend who also lives with Parkinson's, has been to use the power of song to give light, lift spirit and offer hope. So, with the humble and honourable intention of someone who will enjoy his 70th birthday tomorrow, and with moderator's OK, I invite you share my take on life by visiting www.preciousdiamond.net (see Emily) and www.eachlivingmoment.net.

Brendo82 The Big Book of Blue
  • replies: 5

I don't remember exactly when the thoughts in my head began to add up, stacking one on top of the next and creating the pattern that led to the most serious times in my illness ( see Brendon's Story originally posted 01/08/2013 ) and I guess then bro... View more

I don't remember exactly when the thoughts in my head began to add up, stacking one on top of the next and creating the pattern that led to the most serious times in my illness ( see Brendon's Story originally posted 01/08/2013 ) and I guess then brought me to this point. You can find analogies for how it goes. I think of the thoughts that go with each new episode of anxiety or depression or self harm as being a little story of their own. Each story then becomes a chapter of a book - made up of the thoughts you create for yourself to justify the hurt and the fear and chapter by chapter, the book grows. My own book over a quarter century became massive - so big it became like a physical weight on my shoulders - like a Stephen King novel of personal horror. The stories were and are constant and recurring. But day by day I learn to recognise them as just stories. I don't have to read them. I don't have to invest in them. I don't deny them or try to push them away or change them. They are neither good or bad - I simply just choose not to give them power over me anymore. Perhaps you could recognise some of these in your own experience of mental illness. "People will judge me." "Trying equals failure. It's best to not try so I don't become embarrassing." "I have nothing worth saying or contributing." And that old favourite "I don't deserve to be loved. I am unlovable." Don't buy in to these stories. They will cost you, as they have done for me, so much of your time and energy that the world will just pass you by. Write a new book instead, and fill it with all the things that you hold precious. It's worth it!

The_Real_David_Charles Mindfulness - does it work ?
  • replies: 1

Has anybody done a course in Mindfulness with any kind of result ? One way to prevent a slip into anger/depression is to be aware of small disagreements. If, at this initial stage, you can change your mindset from angry to accepting, i.e. "why did th... View more

Has anybody done a course in Mindfulness with any kind of result ? One way to prevent a slip into anger/depression is to be aware of small disagreements. If, at this initial stage, you can change your mindset from angry to accepting, i.e. "why did this car crash into me ?" to "there are thousands of cars on the road each rush hour and accidents sometimes happen", then a full scale depressive slide might be averted. Once you get fixed in the "anger"/"why me ?" mindset things will react the same way until enough negativity is there to do serious damage. Just gotta be aware of that initial angst. Hence, my question on Mindfulness - does it work the same way ? Adios, David. PS More personal examples obvioulsy take their toll more. Does hanging onto misery really define us or entrap us ?

Single_Soul Aarghh Depression!!! My Story....
  • replies: 4

Hello everyone! I just joined Beyond Blue and would like to communicate my experiences with depression and life thus far: Firstly, it is a relief and a god send that such a place exists here. This is a real and soulful place where anyone can express ... View more

Hello everyone! I just joined Beyond Blue and would like to communicate my experiences with depression and life thus far: Firstly, it is a relief and a god send that such a place exists here. This is a real and soulful place where anyone can express their feelings upon their life and current situation. I'm 32 years of age right now and to be honest lucky to be here. I've abused my body to the extreme (smoking, drinking, drugs etc.) seen many a friend come and go & I'm considered as a 'black sheep' by most of my extended family. Not too long ago, I went to bed and left the window open thinking 'If I have a heart attack and die tonight they can jump through the window instead of knocking the door down trying to find me, thus less trouble for my mother when she has to travel to my town to clean the house up'. That was my most recent rock bottom. A time before that, I got drunk at the local pub and as drunk people do, acted like a total fool and disrespected the girl that I was seeing at the time, and my mates. That was the end of short-lived relationship with that lovely girl. Furthermore, the next night I was feeling like total crap and called my mother and acted like an idiot. Not long after received a call from my dad saying 'do not call your mother in that state again!'. I lost the respect of my family and friends, I was alone and the closest to committing suicide ever in my life the next day. I felt like a total loser and that I had no friends or family who gave a stuff about me! As you can see, I have past issues with wanting/willing/waiting to end my life. It was a fight and struggle to straighten up! Drinking and drugs helped dumb me down and forget about the issues I had in life. Dumbing down came with it's consequences. I was spiralling in and out of depression, my health was failing and I never really learned to deal with the issues head on! On the positive side, I have a mother who has listened and supported me from day one! Thank God for her! She has understood me, bailed me out of situations countless times and see's the true me. Also, I have managed to be full time employed all my adult life earning a dollar (at times 50c), and I love weight training, mountain biking & bushwalking. It isn't all grim. I am a good person! I pride myself on my realness, honesty and integrity. Let me tell you this; If YOU are also a real, honest and good person (indeed you are!) ALL YOUR THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS ARE VALID AND JUSTIFIED!! Let me tell you what else, YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS WORLD!! There is ALWAYS someone out there who can help and listen. Sometimes you just need to look ok?! Life is not handed to most of us on a silver platter. We must work hard, fight the temptations & not believe those who want to draw us into their negative whirlpools. We must control our internal dialogue (thoughts) because not everything we think in our minds is reality (especially negative thoughts about ourselves). No one is superior, not the bully at school, not the prime minister or even the queen! If someone does have a superiority complex it is because they are actually covering up their feelings of in-superiority. In the end, a person may be a member of this or that group but we are all INDIVIDUALS!! We ALL feel specific emotions (love, hate, jealousy etc.) that are actually not limited to this earth, they are experienced in some other animals on this planet and beyond! Aaanywho, I will continue to focus on the positives, my health and being a genuine real person who feels. I will project my genuine self (soul) and try to understand and see the real person (soul) in everybody I encounter. Check out my recent walk/jog in the bush dedicated to everyone here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6OyIeP-HcZ8 Peace and love to you all

Denis Always be an optimist
  • replies: 3

Like many of you I suffer from depression,anxiety, PTSD etc but my mottos for survival is "Always be an Optimist" and":There is always someone worse off than you'. These certainly are platitudes but my personal story might help. I am a Vietnam Vet - ... View more

Like many of you I suffer from depression,anxiety, PTSD etc but my mottos for survival is "Always be an Optimist" and":There is always someone worse off than you'. These certainly are platitudes but my personal story might help. I am a Vietnam Vet - I saw a man shot dead in front of me - it only got to me in 50s.I was a Bandsman (musician) and the Bandmaster still kept conducting even when the shots were fired - stupid bugger. I am fortunately on a Vet's pension but in my last job as a consultant and teacher I was earning $900 a day in 2004, not every day of course. When I was born in 1949, I had an elder brother who had Cerebral Palsy (CP) - spastic they called it in those days.Five years later my sister was born - she also had CP. My other sister has her Masters in Nursing. I have been married threee time sao I do understand those issues -0 my wife and I have been married

Meg82 Just want to share
  • replies: 2

Just want to share with some people who might just understand how big this is and give me the right amount of excitement because I am not getting the right reaction from those close to me as I don't think they quite get it and I don't blame them. My ... View more

Just want to share with some people who might just understand how big this is and give me the right amount of excitement because I am not getting the right reaction from those close to me as I don't think they quite get it and I don't blame them. My doctor says I am at the point where I can tackle my depression and anxiety without medication and I am medication free after many years of fighting just to be happy, 1 nervous break down, self harming and being suicidal I can officially say that I am winning the fight and can cope on my own. It feels unbelievably good to achieve that when even only 2 years ago I never could have imagined it. I just keep thinking and realising what I have gotten through and not being able to believe I actually did it. It has been a very very long time. I have suffered from depression and anxiety since I was 13, I have been medicated since I was 22 and I am 30 now and finally feeling like I am in a healthy enough mind set that I can put a lot of my major issues behind me.

Dennis38 The journey
  • replies: 1

Sometimes it’s hard to know where to start, just like when you are depressed it’s hard to determine when it started. Some times when we are looking back we may see when it started, the problem with looking back is that we tend to forget to look forwa... View more

Sometimes it’s hard to know where to start, just like when you are depressed it’s hard to determine when it started. Some times when we are looking back we may see when it started, the problem with looking back is that we tend to forget to look forward and we cannot see the next ledge above us. Sometimes that’s all we can do is simply move up one more ledge. One more step up towards the light. The saying “A journey of a thousand miles starts with but the first step.” That first step is not only the hardest but the most important step. It means you are finally taking the steps to pull yourself out of the hole you feel you are in. We can not take that first step for you, but we can offer you a hand up to that next ledge, we are the shoulder that you need to lean on and cry, we do not judge as we, each and every one of us here, have been or are in your shoes. We are the hand in the darkness that you are groping for, we will not let go once you take hold our brother, our sister, but you must reach for our hand. Look up and you will see our faces, you will see the same scars, you will see that there is help, that there is a light and we will help you reach that light, we will help hold the darkness at bay if only you will reach up and take our hands. We will not offer you false platitudes, we will not say that you will feel better with a little sleep, and we will not say that you have no reason for feeling the way you do, we will not judge as we each of us are brothers and sisters in the dark, each of us reaching out for the next ledge, for a hand in the darkness, all that we ask is that you trust us not to let go. We will each help you as best that we can know that we can show you to the light, but you must be willing to start and continue the journey, but once you start this journey to the light we will be there step by step, we each and every one of us one day will stand tall and once again proud, we will remove the yoke of depression/anxiety from each other. Who are we? We are your brothers and sisters in the fight against depression and anxiety.