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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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reason_22nd Recovery and quitting medication.
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I have recently quit medication. I was on the meds for a little less than 6 years. It was for an acute psychotic episode, then a relapse a year later. I have made a full recovery and haven't had any relapses in almost 5 years. When I was real... View more

Hi all, I have recently quit medication. I was on the meds for a little less than 6 years. It was for an acute psychotic episode, then a relapse a year later. I have made a full recovery and haven't had any relapses in almost 5 years. When I was really struggling back in '08, I had to go to a mental health hospital. Being in there, for 6 weeks, I realised that I never wanted to return to that place. So I did something about my sitch. I started exercising, eating well. I even got through an apprenticeship, and now still work fulltime. I must say that the medication helped, but it was really the self drive that helped me. Since all then I have been learning a language twice a week at nights, riding my bicycle to work and married the most important girl, who stood by me when I started getting paranoid ideas. I just wanted to mention the pyschotic episodes were not drug related, they were brought on by daily pressures compunded by a health scare. When I had the relapse, I also was battling Non Hodgkin's Lymphoma. I must say having a good insight, having a great shrink (psychiatrist), a feeling of worth ( a job) and good people near was how I quit medication and have been going up ever since. Thank you for reading. If anyone needs some help I will do my best to offer some advice. Peace.

Miss_Kitty We all hurt
  • replies: 2

I'm new here and have spent some time reading many of the entries before deciding to join. Although each person and their story is unique, it struck me just how many things we all share in common. How much pain we are in, how lonely we are, how isola... View more

I'm new here and have spent some time reading many of the entries before deciding to join. Although each person and their story is unique, it struck me just how many things we all share in common. How much pain we are in, how lonely we are, how isolated we can become, how fearful we are of both the past, present, and future. Some of us have just climbed aboard the Nuttyville Express stopping all stations and some of us have been hopping on and off the train for years. Some people never leave the train at all. Because we keep our head down and don't look around (even at the beautiful view outside the window) it takes a while to realise that the train is packed with fellow travelers who are suffering in silence too. It is only when a connection is made that we realise that the misery, the anger, the hoplessness, the despair, and the pain is something that we all have in common. We all search for answers; a reason for why we are the way we are, a definative explanation to explain the $64,000 mental illness question: why? Genetics? Rotten Mother/or Father? Brain Rot? Faulty Brain Chemistry? Unhappy Childhood?, Domestic Violence?, Not Breastfed? I think we spend years of our lives trying to work out why. We go to counseling and pyschiatrists and we take pills, more pills, different pills, until we literally rattle in the hopes of poisoning that wretched monkey who has climbed on our back and is determined to hang on no matter how hard we try to throw him off. As time goes on that monkey gets so fat from feeding on our soul that one slip and we're crushed flat as a pancake. Or snap a hip. The monkey enjoys the train ride immensly and shares tips with all his fellow monkeys on how to maintain a firm grip at all times. Throwing garbage around in the carriage to see what sticks is an added bonus. He's having a wonderful time and never wants the fun to end. But like all good things it does eventually end - sometimes he slinks off to the monkey only carriage and pouts and broods - sometimes he is escorted off the train by the pharmaceutical guards and sometimes he is thrown from the moving train only to be run over by an anxiety (or manic) train going in the opposite direction. But he doesn't go down without a fight. He knows your weaknesses; he knows your triggers. But then something happens. You start to recognize (after many train trips) the obvious signs that the monkey has packed a bag for the trip to Nuttyville and has his train ticket ready. You spoil everything by refusing to go along no matter how loud he screeches or how much he jumps up and down. You know how he operates and while you fear that you haven't seen the last of him, you now have a better understanding of how to battle him if he does decide to pay you a visit. Eternal vigilence! is what you must practice because monkeys are sneaky - they can climb stealthily and carefully onto your back and suggest in a soft, caring tone that a train trip to a nice place called Nuttyville might be helpful. Before you can say 'but I hate trains' your off the train and wandering around bewildered and frightened at the chaos around you. Nothing makes sense, when you speak to other people they either don't understand what you are saying or ignore you. You shout, you cry, you beg for help but everyone seems to be caught up in their own lives, their own problems. Then you notice a shop that has a large friendly sign saying 'Don't Panic' Help Available. You peer through the windows and see people with caring expressions on their faces talking with the walking wounded. Some were silent and some were crying but what struck you the most was that the people with the caring faces were really listening to those in pain. Someone sees you and smiles, waving you to come in. You have taken the first step; always the most difficult. You cry out your pain and they gently tell you what must be done before you can finally go home. You try, you fail, you try again, you go down to the train tracks wandering if the pain will stop. You realize that you don't really want to die, you just want the pain to stop. You go back and try again and gradually you begin to reclaim your life. You accept that the monkey may never leave completely. You accept that like a diabetic who must take insulin, you may need to take those pills to function properly. You suddenly understand that a lot of those negative things you have been thinking and feeling don't seem to be as real or as important as they once were. It was that sneaky freakin monkey whispering all that garbage into your ear the whole time. You shake your head trying to work out how you fell for such a cruel trick. It took pills and help to kick the monkey through the goal posts. The crowd goes wild and you raise your arms in a sign of victory knowing that you may have to kick a few more goals before you either win or draw, but you have a smile on your face and hope for the future. You see the Nuttyville train pass by and you give a cheery wave and blow a rasberry at all the pouting, sullen monkeys. They try to throw garbage at you but then realize that the windows have been nailed shut. The sneaky Pharmaceutical Guards giggle and snigger. I'm 53, diagnosed with chronic depression in '98, and am currently going through my 2nd episode in 12 months (or maybe its the same episode? Bad Monkey!). My doctor has increased my medication and at the moment I feel dead inside. The monkey and I are having a Matrix-style fight in the train station but I know, like Neo, that I'm gonna throw that sneaky SOB under the first train that pulls in. Maybe there is no acceptable answer to why - maybe if we just accept that our illness is part of who we are and that it needs to be treated instead of trying to 'cure' it or pretend it doesn't exist we might find a measure of peace and the the ability to see past it when it strikes. Or maybe we just need mental Angry Birds with a passion for destroying monkeys instead of pigs...

Gav Who am I? I am me.
  • replies: 0

Hey Friends, My name is Gav and I'm currently recovering from depression and manage living with a Health Anxiety. I say currently because I know I will beat this as I have before. The latest depression was caused (I'm pretty sure) on New Year’s Day w... View more

Hey Friends, My name is Gav and I'm currently recovering from depression and manage living with a Health Anxiety. I say currently because I know I will beat this as I have before. The latest depression was caused (I'm pretty sure) on New Year’s Day when I found a deceased person behind my work (sorry if this causes anyone anxiety) and I pretty much shook it off as I wanted to make sure my staff were OK and they had access to work counseling if needed. What I didn't do was get support for myself. Through the months my mood got worse, found no pleasures in anything and the another common symptoms of depression. Just jumping back a bit, my Anxiety goes back about 13 years and I have been hospitalised a few times, gone through a gazillion Dr’s, psych’s and other health professionals. This didn’t need to happen like this but I was not accepting what I was being told and was uninformed about what was really happening. Not accepting the support didn’t do well for me and found myself doing self-harm, wanting to sit in a corner afraid of some physical health issue that wasn’t there but going to kill me anyway, and wanting to just die to end the mental suffering. A very strange paradox indeed Now is a lot different. I seek and accept support from health professional, family and friends, I’ve done a lot of self study on mental health (the science behind it) which I share and discuss with my psychologist and others. Being proactive, taking those hard steps and being honest is allowing my inner light to slowly get brighter (I can live with slow because that’s how it is). Sure there will be times I may take a step back but accepting this as not a personal failure makes the forward steps so much easier to do. I don’t really have any point about sharing my shortened story (*shakes fist at 500 word limit*) except a few vital tips I’ve learned: 1. Never be afraid to seek support. You are not, or ever will be a burden to anyone and no-one will judge you for doing so. 2. Know there are people out there going through similar things so you are not alone on this planet us much as it feels like you are. I hope I can contribute on the forums based on personal experiences of my own and people I have met. I enjoy putting smiles on faces and just listening if that’s all that’s needed. Take care, Gav p.s. only 429 words ... I win!

integrityguy Maybe I can offer some hope...
  • replies: 2

Hello fellow anxiety sufferers. I've been reading through your forum posts. A lot sounds familiar, especially the way the mind and body react to certain situations. I've suffered from anxiety for most of my life, but I've only recently realised that ... View more

Hello fellow anxiety sufferers. I've been reading through your forum posts. A lot sounds familiar, especially the way the mind and body react to certain situations. I've suffered from anxiety for most of my life, but I've only recently realised that it hits me the hardest when I go through a major life change or upheaval ... and especially with relationships (or potential relationships). My first major anxiety attack probably happened when I was 12 - starting high school. It was the same school, but different class structures, higher expectations and different teachers. I felt left behind and overwhelemed. The same thing happened during my first week of university, and I was put on anti-depressants by my GP. In my early 20s I would go on to see several counsellors, 2 psychiatrists, a couple of social workers and several mental health nurses. I ended up in a mental health ward for a week. In my early 20s, I dated a girl who was suffering from chronic fatigue and was also a victim of sexual abuse. I wanted so much to take care of her and bear her burdens that I ended up becoming overwhelmed myself. (Cue anxiety). The relationship lasted 6 days. I spent most of my time obssessing over the fact that I was powerless to change her situation. Even after we broke up, I wanted so desperately to fix her - to erase the pain in her past and present, to make her better. Of course I couldn't, and the more I tried, the more pressure I put on myself and the more anxious I became. Over the next decade or so, I put a relationship at the top of my "life agenda". The only way I saw myself as moving forward in life and being happy was to find a girlfriend who would eventually (all things going well) become my wife. This led to a false belief that a relationship is essential to happiness. I "tested the waters" with several girls that came along, never getting very far. I tried dating websites and a dating agency, I agonised to my family and close friends over my "bad luck. I waited...and waited...for a girl to take an interest in me. I watched all my friends settle into relationships, get married and start having kids. I saw myself as falling behind and I hated myself because of it. Last year I was almost 31 and still desperately wanted a life partner. I started emailing a girl I met the year before who lived in another state and had a mutual friend. We exchanged messages for about 3 months. Between each message, there were bursts of anxiety and so many questions - is she interested? Is she just humouring me? Am I wasting my time? Is this going anywhere? Am I making mistakes? Eventually the questions became too much for me and I flat out asked her if there was a chance of a relationship. A few days passed, and she told me ... no. I struggled, but I moved on. A few months later I started messaging a girl on a dating website - she also lived out of town (but a bit closer). Things started getting a bit more serious, and the anxiety levels, once again, hit the roof. I began planning out our future together in my head. I met up with her in person - twice. However every time we planned to meet, I would have a panic attack and my mind would go into overdrive. Eventually I asked if we could discuss our future, and she avoided the question. I broke things off a few weeks later. Fast forward to today ... I have just started dating a girl I met earlier this year. The anxiety is still there and it threatens to overwhelm me sometimes. But I've explained as best I can to her, without trying to scare her off, that my anxiety is caused by my reaction to situations and I have strategies to manage it. I have now reached a compromise with myself - a relationship adds to happiness, but is not (and should not become) the source of ALL happiness in my life. I have so many reasons to be happy - supportive friends and family, a steady job and good income and an amazing church community. A girlfriend is just one more reason to be happy. So as my long-winded narrative winds down, I want to share some of my thoughts about anxiety management: *(1)* I accept anxiety as a part of me. I will never be free of it, but that doesn't mean I can't keep it in check. I cannot deny its existence (it will always be there) or demand that it be gone (that's not going to happen). *(2)* I look at anxiety as a false signal - something which is caused by irrational beliefs I've developed over time. With time and experience I am wrenching those beliefs out from the depths of my mind, exposing them for what they are and breaking them down slowly. They are stubborn, but I am persistent and I am stronger. *(3)* Every time life throws me major anxiety, I will always try to look at it as an experience to grow, to arm myself with new weapons to fight it and keep it under control. I wish everyone peace of mind and courage to overcome whatever obstacles anxiety throws at you.

SOD SEEKING OPINIONS ABOUT "LEARNED BEHAVIOUR " DOES IT EXIST ?
  • replies: 13

While i've been looking for answers to my life time living with depression, behavior issues, addictions, over all not fitting in to this world , i've been told by some mental health professionals, that LEARNED BEHAVIOR ,maybe a issue with me. I under... View more

While i've been looking for answers to my life time living with depression, behavior issues, addictions, over all not fitting in to this world , i've been told by some mental health professionals, that LEARNED BEHAVIOR ,maybe a issue with me. I understand the theory of what i've been told, but i'm unsure if it exists, or if there is any truth in this ? any information would be greatly appreciated . CHOW.

meaghanperris Forgiveness
  • replies: 3

Forgiveness is not about condoning another’s hurtful actions, it is about releasing your negative emotions and perceptions about the painful events. Otherwise you keep yourself chained to those events or people - you keep it alive within you - and yo... View more

Forgiveness is not about condoning another’s hurtful actions, it is about releasing your negative emotions and perceptions about the painful events. Otherwise you keep yourself chained to those events or people - you keep it alive within you - and you carry it with you where-ever you go. It is a very heavy burden to carry around and you end up crippling yourself emotionally, mentally, spiritually and physically. Holding on to anger, resentment, etc. keeps you in ‘victim’ mode - powerless. It means you are letting those people who have hurt you in the past dictate who you are in the present moment. You can take your power back by releasing these negative emotions and no longer let them hold sway over your thoughts, feelings and actions. Only you are responsible for what you do, think and feel. You can choose to hold on to painful events, like a weight around your neck, or you can choose to remove that burden by releasing it (giving it no more emotional energy and therefore power) and living a happier life despite past circumstances. In other words… let the past be in the past, and live in the now moment. You can’t change what happened in the past, but you have choice over how you live now.

ontheroad travelling with husband and depressed - any advice
  • replies: 6

Hi, I am new here, overseas at the moment and looking for advice, or maybe just someone to talk to. Have lived with depression on and off (bipolar) for 20 years. However have been reasonably stable for past 6,7 including the 5 years I have known my h... View more

Hi, I am new here, overseas at the moment and looking for advice, or maybe just someone to talk to. Have lived with depression on and off (bipolar) for 20 years. However have been reasonably stable for past 6,7 including the 5 years I have known my husband. After we got married we decided to go travelling for some months (was feeling very happy at this time and it seemed like a top idea) I had a reduction in medication with the thought of maybe trying for a baby. I hit the lows, the worst in years, 2 weeks before we left. decided to go ahead with trip as I thought I would feel better soon as I increased medication. 5 weeks on and I still feel pretty down as well as distant from my husband which is really difficult as we are together most of the time. I am not enjoying the things we are doing, places we are going, socially anxious when staying with relatives- but am trying to make most of it as I don't want to spoil his holiday as well. For example - we went to ankor wat and whilst I could intellectually understand it is impressive, my response was the same as if I were seeing it in a magazine, only the effort was far greater and I felt bad that we had spent all this money for me to feel this way (he's already been there) This afternoon, when i stayed in bed with a book I felt like I was having a day off work! I think travelling together is our weakest point as a couple and I know he really wants me to have a good time, but travelling together in foreign countries whilst I am depressed is really really hard. And now I am questioning our relationship as I do when I am not so good and I can't tell whether it is us, me or? I've really gotten out of the habit of CBT, relaxation and planning over the last few years and finding it hard to get in a routine as we travel. started a second reading of the happiness trap, but starting finding it harder to do the exercises, the more down I got. Anybody got any tips to gain an even keel? cheers

Hoelee maybe better days really do come
  • replies: 1

okay so i had a rough last few months with anxiety and also alot of crap happening but i just want to share to people that there is always somebody out there who can help you through what your going through. keep being strong and let somebody know. x... View more

okay so i had a rough last few months with anxiety and also alot of crap happening but i just want to share to people that there is always somebody out there who can help you through what your going through. keep being strong and let somebody know. xx

meaghanperris Change
  • replies: 0

Sometimes we loose things, sometimes life takes more than it gives, but in time everything comes around and eventually even know our paths may have been rocky or taken detours we will find serenity, happiness and people who take our breathe away. Som... View more

Sometimes we loose things, sometimes life takes more than it gives, but in time everything comes around and eventually even know our paths may have been rocky or taken detours we will find serenity, happiness and people who take our breathe away. Sometimes feelings and moments will take us by surprise, a new connection, a door opening, a feeling or just seeing the beauty in something you never saw before. We need to hold onto these beautiful moments for the hard times. We need to rid the negative from our lives and just love the positivity. We have the choice to be happy, the choice to live a life of love and amazing moments. The hard moments when we want to give in make us appreciate those beautiful moments so much more. Every breathe, every moment is a chance to change, to love fiercer, to be stronger

meaghanperris Regrets
  • replies: 0

Regrets Moments I have when things challenge me, moments where I am scared, these moments still happen even after recovery. I think it’s normal in life. I’m sure it’s what growing is. Learning and being able to pull ourselves up when we start to slip... View more

Regrets Moments I have when things challenge me, moments where I am scared, these moments still happen even after recovery. I think it’s normal in life. I’m sure it’s what growing is. Learning and being able to pull ourselves up when we start to slip. I make the choice to be free and happy and let go, live life by the little moments that make us smile, the moments that take our breath away and know that everything that happens must have a reason or purpose behind it. Every person comes into our life with a purpose, whether it be to learn or love or experience something new. Whether it be good or be heartbreaking every person, every experience is a opportunity to learn something. Never stop learning, never give up, never let the chance to open your heart or mind go bye, life’s to short for regrets.