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Just Sara A Bouquet for Pearls - share your appreciation for other members
  • replies: 715

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful word... View more

Every now and then, members share a beautiful Pearl of Wisdom. How often do you think to yourself; "OMG that's great! I wish everyone could see this." Presenting someone with a bunch of flowers is a generous way of acknowledging their insightful words. I hope this thread stays active through members giving out praise regularly to people they feel deserving, and therefore keep generosity of spirit alive within the pages of BeyondBlue Forum. My bunch of Red Roses (my choice) goes to Wishful for the following sentence; 'Personally, I see no reason to be praised in me, but I'm learning that seeing through the eyes of others can be more accurate!!' I so hear you Wishful. Just beautiful... Try to keep your leading comments short to focus on 'their' words. Choose specific flowers (or a gift if you like) to present to them. Sign off respectfully and sincerely. I hope this takes off... Spreading the love...Sara

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Cold_Mirror When the help gets sick
  • replies: 7

I think you guys will understand this. I tried talking to a friend last night, but I'm not sure that he gets it. As I'm leaving therapy this year, I've been making a list of people and things that I can rely upon when I need short-term help. One of t... View more

I think you guys will understand this. I tried talking to a friend last night, but I'm not sure that he gets it. As I'm leaving therapy this year, I've been making a list of people and things that I can rely upon when I need short-term help. One of the people is my gp who always gives me the time I need and is a great listener. He has buckets of compassion and is sometimes better than some psychologists. He took some long service leave earlier in the year and I kept hearing that he's not back even though the return date was sometime in June. The receptionist told me yesterday that he is ill and may not be back for another two months. I know there are other sources of help for me, but I felt very sad and a bit scared. It must be something horrible to need that much sick leave. I pretended all afternoon that everything was normal, but I went home and cried. I also ate a lot of ice cream, although I know that is not the best way of dealing with my emotions. I could cry now, but I need to get ready for work. I think I need to put aside some time to just cry it out. I know that all relationships end either because people go away or die. It's life. Part of my problem is that I had a lot of significant people die on me when I was younger - especially males. That makes me a bit more sensitive about possible losses. I am not greatly religious, but I said prayers and lit a candle last night for him. He is only 59. I had been mentally preparing for the retirement, but not for anything beyond that. I am grateful that I have a few more therapy sessions left. I am also grateful for everyone here. Okay, now I am crying. At least crying is helpful, whereas ice cream is just ice cream. I don't know whether this belongs in the bereavement part of the forum, because no-one has actually passed yet. ...

Just Sara See-Saw, Marjorie Door - Finding the middle of the proverbial stick
  • replies: 14

I recently posted on 2 threads re self love and self-esteem; wonderful topics and worthy of our community's agenda. Something I wrote sparked some thought this morning about balance and what this means. I have an analogy I use for this school of thou... View more

I recently posted on 2 threads re self love and self-esteem; wonderful topics and worthy of our community's agenda. Something I wrote sparked some thought this morning about balance and what this means. I have an analogy I use for this school of thought; a long stick with positive on one end and negative on the other. I guess it's like a see-saw. Playing on one of these growing up meant going up and down was fun, but when each stood still and the plank held steady so both had their feet on the ground, things were balanced. For most of us on here, we tend to find a counter balance for every good thought we have, be it big or small. eg. I did a great job cleaning the house this morning, it looks great! Rebuff - Mum's coming over today; she'll pick my work to pieces. That's what I thought balance was. This is how we see-saw from one extreme to the other. It might have been fun physically as a child, but in our minds, there's just one person controlling the balance. So we run from one end to the other trying to play this game alone, then exhaustion and low mood sets in. I chose the pseudonym 'Dizzy' because I had a duality of thoughts constantly going back and forth trying to find this sense of balance, but all I got was dizzy. Mind boggling confusion and each day was 'up and down'. I'd been playing both roles...me and 'them'. This morning I remembered what I used to do when I didn't have anyone to play with on the see-saw. I'd sit in the middle and shift my weight to make it move. It wasn't as good as playing with anyone else, but it created movement none the less, just not as drastic as the level created by two. It also meant I had total control. I wrote a list of all my accomplishments in my life and thought about how I really wanted others to validate those. Looking at the list I told myself to let go of wanting to have someone else to play with and look at it from a place of control and self support. Wow...I've done some great things in my life! Understanding there's just me to look at my list, I didn't need a counter balance. There were so many positive things, finding negative ones was just too hard; you know...running to the other end of the see-saw. Just sharing my thoughts...can you relate? Please try this and let me know how you go...Dizzy xo

Wild_ What's your go-to movie to watch on a bad day?
  • replies: 34

Hi all, Today was a bad day for me. I just call them "bad days" - it simplifies it for me. On bad days when I'm feeling particularly teary (like today), I like to watch one of my go-to movies when my depression is at the front of my mind. Mostly, it'... View more

Hi all, Today was a bad day for me. I just call them "bad days" - it simplifies it for me. On bad days when I'm feeling particularly teary (like today), I like to watch one of my go-to movies when my depression is at the front of my mind. Mostly, it's to help me cry at something other than myself. Some of my go-to movies: - Extrelemy Loud and Incredibly Close - Crash Do you have go-to movies for bad days?

biscotti81 Telling people you have a mental illness
  • replies: 8

Who do you share/is aware you have a mental illness and are they supportive? Friends? Family?

Who do you share/is aware you have a mental illness and are they supportive? Friends? Family?

Guest_1055 There is Power in Forgiveness
  • replies: 13

Hello everyone, I just wanted to share this with you all. This information was given to me at a support group that I attend. Here it is: There is Power in Forgiveness Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Take your p... View more

Hello everyone, I just wanted to share this with you all. This information was given to me at a support group that I attend. Here it is: There is Power in Forgiveness Strategy: Open your eyes to what anger and resentment are doing to you. Take your power back from those who have hurt you. Hate, anger and resentment are destructive, eating away at the heart and soul of the person who carries them. They are absolutely incompatible with your own peace, joy and relaxation. Ugly emotions change who you are and contaminate every relationship you have. They can also take a physical toll on your body, including sleep disturbance, headaches, back spasms and even heart attacks. To be continued.......

Cam_S Help when it wasn't expected
  • replies: 4

I dreamt of a house on stilts and under that house was a large collection of shells, mainly mussel shells. The owner of the house was an old man, who seemed to welcome passers-by to view his collection of shells. Several other people – all strangers ... View more

I dreamt of a house on stilts and under that house was a large collection of shells, mainly mussel shells. The owner of the house was an old man, who seemed to welcome passers-by to view his collection of shells. Several other people – all strangers to me – were also looking at the shells and I noticed they seemed interested but removed from the experience. I wondered why the old man kept all these shells – they weren’t rare or valuable. There were several intricate handmade timber boxes among the collection. I opened one of the boxes and inside it was a mussel shell (almost fully closed) and much the same as many others in the collection. I sensed something unusual and I looked deep inside the shell and saw a house inside the shell. The house was too large to be in the shell and yet it was contorted and cramped into the shell. Gravity, time and space were irrelevant in the shell. The contorted house made no sense being inside the shell, but there it was. I listened carefully and I heard silent screams from within the house in the shell. I looked deeper and through the gaps of a closed louver window shudder in the house I could see an eye of a young man. He was trapped in the house in the shell. The young man was too large for the house, which although itself was much larger than the shell, was tiny compared to the young man trapped inside. I could only see the young man’s eye but I could hear the screams inside his head - they were the screams of someone lost to this world. He was imprisoned in the house in the shell, unable to even move. I looked for the old man who owned the shell collection but I couldn’t see him. Did the old man know that within the shell in the box was a young man trapped in a house? I wanted to smash the mussel shell to save the young man or to stop him suffering any more but that seemed pointless in a place where gravity, time and space did not exist. Then I was drawn to open another of the timber boxes and when I did I found another shell inside that second timber box. There was something inside the shell in the second timber box – something deeply personal to me – that pleaded, almost begged, for me to look inside the shell and to analyse all that was within. “No,” I told myself “do not look in the shell!”. Then I woke. I felt relieved because I now understand that that I can only be trapped (again) if I look into the "shell". Do not look into the shell. Never look into the shell.

white knight Low self esteem
  • replies: 3

Its one if those descriptions often repeated on this forum. Low self esteem could have come about for any reason. Commonly, I'd suggest, developed from childhood with lack of praise and encouragement or worse, regular put downs by others. Whatever th... View more

Its one if those descriptions often repeated on this forum. Low self esteem could have come about for any reason. Commonly, I'd suggest, developed from childhood with lack of praise and encouragement or worse, regular put downs by others. Whatever the reason what can you do to raise your confidence? Let's be realistic, we can't change the past. So logical yet we can easily fall into the "wallowing" of hoping we can and living in the past. Churning over past times is unproductive. Let's stick to the present to shape our future. We can try to rely on others to mend our self esteem. But how far can the encouragement from a partner take us towards a higher self esteem? Will the endurance needed by our partner from trying to lift our spirits take its toll on them over time.? If your parents are to largely be blamed for your low self esteem now that you are an adult do you think they will take responsibility for it now? Are they too old to cast blame on? Was their ways common in that period ("stop crying, be a real man")...are you going to go about solving this problem by pointing fingers? When is it time you tackled it yourself with perhaps professional guidance? What can we do about it? On this forum we often convey how we overcame problems. Its a real life experience answer rather than theory alone. Married for 11 years by the time it ended I felt worthless, a failure and grieved for the loss of my full time fatherhood. It came natural for me one evening to stare into the mirror and aloud say "you are a good person, you are kind and a good father, you'll be OK because I believe in myself". This was repeated daily. Other thoughts I created was to accept that I wasn't far removed from other people in terms of ability. For example. I'm the handyman type. If some people can build their own home why can't I? I then did. What are your natural or trained abilities? Capitalise on them. I knew a lady in her 50's that felt she was useless at everything. I pointed out she has great ability to make quilts. She won a prize soon after at a country show. She might not be oozing with confidence with other things but few could make a quilt like her. Reason to feel uniquely successful. Find your niche. Praise yourself for your abilities. Take your low self esteem as a personal challenge and realise other people appearing confident often are not so internally. Its all a mask. Write parts of your childhood on a rock with chalk and...throw it in a river.... Tony WK

Ben1 Does Pokemon Go make us healthier?
  • replies: 32

Hey everyone! Just read a really interesting article on Vice about how many people who are experiencing mental illnesses are really enjoying Pokemon Go. I'm wondering if anyone has any similar stories. Have you found you are outside more because of t... View more

Hey everyone! Just read a really interesting article on Vice about how many people who are experiencing mental illnesses are really enjoying Pokemon Go. I'm wondering if anyone has any similar stories. Have you found you are outside more because of the game? and has it positively impacted your mental health? Thanks so much guys! -Ben

Mariasharapovafan1 A new me
  • replies: 2

I have finally recovered after deactivating my Facebook page as so many comments have been insulting and made me feel hurt. I am now into the more fun part of life when I start laughing a lot. I am now back with my mother and we a going for walks. I ... View more

I have finally recovered after deactivating my Facebook page as so many comments have been insulting and made me feel hurt. I am now into the more fun part of life when I start laughing a lot. I am now back with my mother and we a going for walks. I now love watching a cartoon on youtube called 'Noah's Island' and one of the characters I like is Sacha a friendly simple-minded Russian desman (a desman is a very shy obscure species with an unusual snout). Also I love my scrap booking of my favorite things in life this includes this animal and Maria Sharapova. I've also bought a shirt that she was wearing from Zara and put her on a t-shirt, now that I no longer have Facebook. Also I've found a useful mobile app called meetup which enables me to join the groups and meet new people face-to-face. Congratulations I'm making a new start.

james1 A little positive story
  • replies: 3

Hello everyone, I wanted to share a little positive story, as well as say to say thanks. I hope you read this and find something useful in it. I've had a terrible week and yesterday was a terrible day. Between kicking myself out of my house, sleeping... View more

Hello everyone, I wanted to share a little positive story, as well as say to say thanks. I hope you read this and find something useful in it. I've had a terrible week and yesterday was a terrible day. Between kicking myself out of my house, sleeping at McDonalds, sleeping under the desk at work, and failing to do anything productive at work, I'd just had enough by yesterday morning. It was probably a good thing too that I was so exhausted yesterday, because those thoughts had become very intrusive. Posting on these forums and telling my friends my plans saved me. Specifically, I'd previously posted more than once that I would be going to uni this week. So even though I could've lied and pretended that I went to uni, there was a nagging little thought in my brain that, maybe, I should get up and go. Then my friend sent me a message - "I'll see you at uni today." That kicked my nagging thought into action. I went to uni. It was horrible. But it was a step forwards, rather than backwards. But I still had hours left in the day and, after eating dinner on my own, I got trapped in my head again. Again, posting on the forums that morning saved me. There's a thread about exercise started up by another forum member who I'm very thankful to have "met" on these forums. On it, I'd posted that I'd go for a run later last night. So, as with uni, I got that nagging thought in my head that I really should go run. As I walked home, I started playing my favourite running music: the Lord of the Rings soundtrack, specifically when they're running across the mountains. That gave me just enough energy to go for a short run, even though it was 10PM by now. So I did, and I could go to sleep feeling a little better about myself. Sothat little bit of positivity, from what was a really really bad place in the morning, gave me enough desire to get up today, go to work, and know that I'm still here and surrounded by colleagues who respect me as a human being regardless of my issues. Tomorrow I go to Uluru, and I'm really excited to finish off my bad week with something nice for myself. So I guess what I really wanted to say is thank you to everyone on the forums here. You've given me a place where I can feel comfortable. You've also, maybe without knowing, held me to the plans I make in advance just by listening and responding, so that when I do have bad days, I get that nagging thought that I should carry out the plans I made on my good days. Thanks again. James

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