finaly found

[rok]

Hi Christopher,

I don't really know where else to contact you on this site so ive used this section, on Tuesday last I was in a very bad place I was overwhelmed with emotional pain, more so than I have been for quite sometime I phoned your hotline and ended up from their advice at the P.A, mental health unit where I sat for some 7 hours watching other patients in a distressed state of mind, some were quiet some were angry and it got me thinking about the suffering that others were going through some obviously unable to cope with reality and in a worse place than where I was, being absolutely tormented by there problems I felt compassion for them.Then after accessing your poetry section and reading others poetry I could see that although the authors were in a distressing place I could notice that with that outlet and replies sent,  there was a positive feel about it all. I did feel dejected when you didn't publish my "nightmare" but I could understand the validity in your  reasoning, I wish to cause no one distress or harm and I took that onboard gladly and it also helped me to understand myself a lot more. I realized that I do have a lot of compassion and understanding toward my fellow human beings. I have always given rather than taken and to see someone smile gives me a very warm positive feeling, even though it has only been material possessions or giving my seat up on a bus etc. Yesterday when I replied to CMF and got a positive response and being helpful it was like a doorway opened down a very long and empty corridor, one I had been walking for many many years trying all kinds of employment and schooling, I have a Dip. in agriculture, i'm a WH&SO, an undergrad BSc and many other qualifications I have achieved yet  never happy in any of those areas and I could never understand why..Now I do, thanks to yourself and your team and CMF, for today I enrolled with online learning to gain a Dip. in counseling, I feel in my heart that this is what I have been searching for, for a very long time a way to help others the way I have been helped, and I just wanted to thank you all for showing me that door.

Regards Rok

[Chris_B]

Hi Rok,

Thanks so much for posting this. The poetry thread was an idea of one of our members, White Knight, and it has really taken off. So glad you're enjoying it, and that the responses from everyone here has helped.

Great also that you've decided to study counselling. Helping others is a great feeling, and you can learn so much about life from listening to the stories and experiences of others too. Hope you'll stay here and keep posting.

[rok]

Thanks Christopher,

White Knight certainly came up with a great idea, poetry comes from the heart and soul of a person, an expression of feelings and a way to communicate on a very different level, poetry has always been in my life, it has always been a way for me to find release from my tormentors and it has saved my life on many occasions. instead of committing suicide (though I did try once) I would pick up pen and paper,, the more I wrote the pain became number, as I mentioned in my poems "nightmare" I felt god had abandoned me and would never listen, I am thinking now that what I suffered was my lesson from him so that I could relate to the suffering of others in a similar situation and help them through their darkest moments.

I sat my LLN last night and am really hoping I passed, I'm looking forward to my first unit.

Once again thank you all

rok

[CMF]

Hi rok,

Wow, I'm touched and a little speechless. We underestimate how far a few sincere kind words can go. From your comments re the pain you can sense in  my poetry, I know for certain you will be a wonderful couselor and I'm proud of you for enrolling. you are very perceptive and  in tune with others.

I wish you every success.

CMF

[CMF]

I forgot to mention you are an Inspiration. You mention that you think your suffering may be a lesson from God. I gave a post called "helping a friend with anxiety" this friend also thinks he has suffered a lesson from God. Unfortunately he hasn't found the doorway as you have. It makes me wonder if we have missed what his lesson was meant to be. I think his anxiety is karma. I have other posts accused of infidelity and dog vs black dog.

Maybe He's missed the lesson??? 

[rok]

Hi there CMF,

thank you for your very kind words, I feel humbled by your positive response.

You mention your friend who suffers from anxiety, and cannot find the doorway, if it is fact karma from a wrong deed, then perhaps they may need to forgive themselves first so they can lift the veil of guilt and see clearly and find the doorway to the road ahead.

You mention that you have been accused of infidelity, If you have a clear conscience regarding the accusations, then it is the accuser that has the problem, some form of insecurity regarding the relationship that they cannot find a way forward with. 

I hope that sunshine is in your life again 

warmest regards

rok

[CMF]

Hi

you are spot on  the friend with anxiety is also the person who accused me of infidelity. My conscience is clearer than ever, Hence the reason I think his anxiety is karma. I await the day when it dawns on him how wrong he was and how much hurt he caused and why.

you will make a wonderful counsellor  

[rok]

Hi,

Thank you so much for your kind words,

I am sorry that you had to suffer for another persons misgivings and I hope you are no longer in turmoil from his words, I have found that forgiving people who cause us hurt through our lives not only strengthens us but it also empowers us.

Have a beautiful day

[rok]

Hi Cris, I hope you are still with the organisation, last time we were in contact I expressed that I had actually found what I had been searching for without a clue and it was my ongoing battle with mental problems that led me to your organisation where I found the poet's corner, (which was a brilliant Idea to create that outlet) and from there I found what I had been searching for without actually searching, I was there for another reason, also the kind words from CMF after I showed her a tool she could use with her problem. I stated that I wanted to help others by counselling. So I enrolled in college and yesterday I completed my last unit with a pass which completes my Diploma in Counselling. My next step is to commence the journey next year studying for a Masters in Clinical Psychology. That should keep me busy for a while.

Once again, thanks very much indeed Chris.

Rok

[Chris_B]

Hi rok, yes still here! 🙂 

Thanks so much for coming back to give us an update. Congratulations on completing your counselling diploma. The clinical psych degree should be very rewarding too.  If you have time, please stick around and share some of your insights in the threads.  We've had a lot of new members since you were last here.