what if i dont want help

[644Amy]

hi

i have joined this community today as i thought i needed help.but as i read all the other peoples problems i feel as if im just being a winger as my problems seem very small in comparison.

I am a transgender girl and

i am just feeling very alone on my journey.i get very sad and have thoughts of harming myself and im supposed to ask for help when this happens,but at that time help is the last thing im going to ask for.

Is there a solution to this problem.

Regards Amy.

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.


 

[644Amy]

Hi geoff

I am on here so at least im talking about my problems which i think is good.i have met with the mental health people and they want to help me also.

I am still deep in the woods, but i can see out now.and now i just need to start climbing.i am unable to talk about my feelings in detail as its not for this forum. Amy.

[geoff]

dear Amy, sometimes you don't have to actually tell us how you are feeling, because we know considering from your post how you do, in other words your feelings in detail may not have to said, and that's why we haven't asked you those intimate questions. Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Dear Amy

I haven't abandoned you, as I've been away for a few days;  and when I go away, technology (laptops) doesn't go with me.  But it's awesome to read that Geoff is here for you AND that you've continued to keep posting, which is fantastic.

Please keep doing that.

The list that you made is a very important one - and it should be an "alive" kind of list;  so when you think of something else to add to it, please do so.  You're IMPORTANT Amy - please please KNOW that.  It's just a hellishly dark time for you right now;  and when we're so deep down in the pit (or in the woods, as you've suggested), it is just so hard for us to see out, to see any signs of positive or light.

But it IS there - it's great to read that you've been using the on-line chat service and the support phone number - I really hope they've been helping.

Amy, please know that we'll be here and will keep writing to you and I hope you can keep writing back to us.

ps:  Happy New Year and here's hoping that as 2015 gets going, it's going to provide some really positive signs and progression for you (and for all of us).

Kind regards

Neil

[644Amy]

Hi neil

Welcome back,hope you had a nice holiday. Im heading to forster in a couple of days for a week,its lovely there,im trying to do all the things i like to do these holidays.

As for my mood i dont feel depressed anymore, im still anxious but i feel just flat most of the time,unmotivated. My list is more of a for and against list i suppose.maybe getting away will get me going in the right direction.

Thankyou to you both for your continued suppprt.Amy

[beyondblue_Online_Communi]

beyondblue's clinically-trained moderators often work offline (invisible to you) on issues relating to suicide or self-harm. At the same time, general supportive comments from the community are encouraged. If you have concerns around suicide or self-harm, please phone our support service on 1300 22 4636.

 

[Neil_1]

Dear Amy

That is great to hear - that you feel your mood has lifted - lifted away from the depressive thoughts;  that is a huge positive.  Keep working on this and if anything tries to rear its ugly head, just send it to the back of your mind and tell it, "No, I'm not dealing with you today - try tomorrow or next week".  That might sound silly, but it works.

Flat and unmotivated - yes, I can relate to those as well.  And again, it's a matter of working through it.  And to do things like, oh yes, a holiday away, to a nice place.  I've travelled through Forster, but never stayed, but it looks an awesome little spot.  And while there, just take your time;  do the things you want to do;  the things you like to do.  This will hopefully be a really good time away for you - and I know this will be very hard to do;  but if you can pack two bags;  one to take with you;  the other bag will be loaded with all the things that are troubling you.  And then leave that bag at home.  So those issues don't come with you on this trip and you have a holiday free of them.  Just a thought.

Neil

ps:  on the other hand, you might want to take a couple of them with you, so you can work on them and sort out how to deal with them upon your return.  Gee, sorry, now I'm making things confusing.

[644Amy]

Hi jeoff and neil

I think i have turned a corner and i am realy looking forward to my holiday. I would like to thank you again for supporting me thru my dark days, i hope i am past them for now and i am looking forward to the future.

I had a visit from my local mental health unit and they took me to hospital to get evaluated. They let me out 4hrs later. Amy.

[geoff]

dear Amy, that sounds great, an enormous change from how you were when you first posted, can I make a suggestion, no no nothing to worry about, but a shield of protection is building, just like a small reptile who shreds it's skin to develop another stronger shell, please 'watch your back Jack'. lol Geoff.

[Neil_1]

Hi Amy

Just a quick note to see if you're still around and if so, I hope that this year is moving along just as you would like it too.

Keep being strong and keep fighting the good fight and keep being Amy.

Kind regards

Neil

[644Amy]

Hi neil

Im still here but i write the wrong content for most of my posts hence the long periods between posts.

Im not realy sure how im going but i am seeing my mental health team everyday from the hospital.

I had a holiday in forster which was nice,good place to unwind and think about your problems.

Thats about all the possitive stuff i can think of for now. Amy.