gender fluid person

[iwanttoconnect28]

hi everyone im a 28 yo male and i am desperately want to connect with others so i can explore my gender and sexuality with likeminded people, but more so i can dress and express myself in fem fashion, since ive come out as a bi trans fem person i felt like a weirdo and a second class person having lost a few friends and my job and being told by my mum that it takes away the rights of actual women, i have no intention of hurt actual women i just to want to be more my authentic self and drop my masculine act. 

[white knight]

Hi, welcome 

I hope you get some replies. I'm happy you have launched a discovery into your new self, must be quite exciting. 

I truly am confused with your mums approach, maybe deep inside she doesn't approve or is struggling? I have a daughter that altered her name... say it was Eve and now she says it Evelyn. So hard for me to adjust. Maybe give her time.

I did write a post on something you might find interesting-

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/sexuality-and-gender-identity/lgbtiq-not-conventional-you-are-st...

Kind regards

TonyWK 

[Trans22]

Hi iwanttoconnect28,
I am a 53yo woman who was incorrectly assigned male (gender) at birth.  I have been living authentically for 13 months.  Almost everyone who knows me accepts me as a woman - several even said that they always saw me as a woman after I came out to them.  There are many online groups (e.g., Trans Pride Australia) that you could try linking up with.  There may be an LGBTIQ+ community where you live that you could link up with.
PS.  The hardest thing for most people who transition as an adult is to accept and love themselves.

[white knight]

Hi trans22

One paragraph that is priceless. Sometimes I think members here dont realise their worth and your reply here is so special. I've been a community champion for 10 years and I read some replies and am blown away with the care and compassion shown. I want to personally thank you for your efforts on this thread and the forum.

SHE HELPED A STRANGER  (to trans22)

They paved the road they thought was right

But "right" wasnt in their sights

For 52 years an inner fight

But she ended up where it was "alright"

But above all grief and pain

And gender - against others grain

She emerged to be her true self to gain

Storms still there but no longer rain

For her friends knew and saw her true

No matter the struggles she true blue

Regardless of some that never have a clue

She helped a stranger as strangers helped you....

TonyWK

[white knight]

Hi again,

Just checking how you are going?  I'm here daily if you want to post.

TonyWK

[sbella02]

Hi Iwanttoconnect28,

I've only just come across your post, and I'd like to firstly welcome you to the forums and build upon others' beautiful responses with my own advice.

As a woman myself, I don't see how your self-expression infringes on the rights of cis-gendered or even other trans women. Short answer: it doesn't. Perhaps this stems from biases or stereotypes that your mother has grown up with or seen somewhere, and she may not be aware of what this would mean for you to express yourself in this way. If you feel comfortable explaining your identity to her, I'd encourage you to do so.

I'm not sure where you're based, but would you feel comfortable looking into queer clubs, bars or social hotspots in your area? We have a "gay bar" where I live, and it's one of the most vibrant, safe, and upbeat places in town that I've been to. You're free to express yourself however you wish without the fear of judgement, and perhaps you may even earn a few compliments from others like you. One of the most supportive environments I've been in, and I always encourage other young queer people to check out spaces like this. 

Surrounding yourself with people who have the same values, morals, and maybe even aesthetics can be so validating and revolutionary for both your self-esteem and wellbeing. LGBTQ+ hotspots are a good place to start, as are online groups (groups on Facebook, Discord etc.).

I hope some of this advice can resonate with you. Thank you for sharing your story, we'd love to hear more from you if you'd like to chat some more.

All the best, SB

[Earth Girl]

Hi iwanttoconnect28,

I'm sorry that you have lost a few friends and your job. I'm also sorry that your Mum says that. I'm a woman and I don't find anything wrong with you wanting to explore your sexuality and gender - it's not hurting anyone and I don't know why your Mum would think it is. It is in no way hurting us or our rights, in fact, her not wanting to let you be yourself is kind of hurting YOU and YOUR rights.

I suggest starting off small/doing things a little differently like you could dress a bit more feminine each day - that way you can ease into it. Have you tried any groups for this sort of thing? I'm sure they would have something. You could even try going to a gay bar and see how you feel there. Just take it at a step at a time so it will feel more natural and other people will get use to it more quickly without being as surprised. (I would be a bit surprised (not in a bad way though) if someone I knew came out if I didn't know that they felt that way, but I'd be really happy for them).