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I think I might be bi. I have only had very unsuccessful male partners but have always been attracted to women as well. I have had one sexual encounter with a woman, and recently have been doing some soul searching and think I might be bi, which leaves me with mixed emotions because, I dont know wheather I am definitely bi and I feel like a bit of a fraud to go and find support if I end up being straight. I dont even know wherr to get support it all seems to be gay, lesbian, trans not really bi specific. From what I have read on the internet (not always a great idea) that bi people get a hard time from both the heterosexual and lgbtqi community. I know noone can decide this for me but me im just really anxious about my realisation and I just would like to know that there are other people out there that are/have been through feelong like this. TIA

7 Replies 7

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi Solo, welcome

I think nowaday, thank heavens, sexuality for some is a fluid thing especially for those like yourself that are indecisive.

By this reply it will bump it up the ladder and hopefully catch the attention of those more experienced in that field.

I hope you find peace.

Tony WK

Community Member

Hi Solotraveller,

You could try dating a few girls and see how you go.. take it slow.

I was the same, I had quite a few unsuccessful relationships with men. But then I met my partner and it was a deeper and better experience for me, I think my taste in women is better than it was with men!

I met her when I was 34. So sometimes I think i'm strange because I had relationships with men for so long, and I think - am I bisexual or am I lesbian? I am definitely in a lesbian relationship and i'm in love, which I never could say about my past relationships with men, but I get confused sometimes as well. But ill elaborate on that in an different post.

Anyway sorry to go off subject, I think you shouldn't be scared and go for it! You could meet someone really special when you least expect it - like I did πŸ™‚

All the best.

Community Member

Hi there.

I find myself in a similar situation so I completely understand where you are coming from.

The best advice I can give is that the label you use to define yourself (whether straight, gay, lesbian, bi, pan, ace, etc) can change. If, at the end of the day, you decide that you aren't bi, no one will call you a fraud. Exploring your sexuality is an important stage in life and you may decide that you are, in fact, lesbian. Or you might decide you are bi, it's really up to you. Another possibility is that while you might be bi, you aren't lesbian either. You may choose not to label yourself, or might find you identify as pansexual or another sexuality. There are plenty of things you can find on the internet with explanations of different sexualities which might help if you decide you aren't bi or lesbian.

If you are bi, then yeah, you're right. Bi people are sometimes looked down upon by both hetero people as well as some members of the lgbt+ community. I don't understand why, but it unfortunately does happen. Fortunately, the vast majority of both the lgbt+ community as well as hetero people accept bisexuality as valid.

If you would like, I could recommend a few movies, tv shows or books which feature bisexual characters. Representation can often help people understand bisexuality and in your case, even if it doesn't necessarily help with your identity questioning, it will at least give you something good to watch/read with lgbt+ characters

Hi OP,

I am in the exact same position as you. I’ve have bad luck with the men I have been with and have now found my partner who it just works with so well.

Sometimes it’s scary how well it fits because this is something I never saw myself doing. Unfortunately while I believe love is about the person, my family see love as the gender.

I have been ridiculed and shamed for seeing my girlfriend by my family and having already suffered from depression and anxiety for years, I’m struggling to see how I will be able to stand back up after the major blows that went down when I refused to stop seeing my girlfriend.

I hope your peers and family are more accepting than mine have been but just know, you’re not alone.

Firstly thank you all that responded it is nice to see that a few of you had been in similar situations. I have been doing some more research/ learning and while I'm still anxious about attending an lgbt+ event Im comfortable for now with the label of bi. Thank you for reminding me that your identity can br fluid and that just because im bi today doesnt mean in the future that wont or cant change. I'm still unsure how my family will take it, I dont perceive them having a adverse reaction. Maybe shocked and need time to get use to it but I am very blessed to have a loving and supportive family and while some in my extended family might be more apprehensive as I will be the only non-hetrosexual in thr family. The time will come but for now I just want to be more comfortable and explore more of what I feel without question. Yes please an Bi related material that you can suggest will be appreciated thank you.

Hi solo

im in a similar position to you

I am questioning my sexuality. I have always had crushes on guys and have been in relationships before but I have always been attracted to girls too, but not as much

any help would be great πŸ™‚

x Chloe

Good luck with things