That’s some really big leaps you’ve
made DD, telling your therapist and people at work. People at work is the
scariest for some. They feel it’s linked to their credibility and reputation.
Like they’ve been a phoney all this time. When really, it’s the social
etiquette that is phoney. I think we’ve all worked with a bunch of frauds or in a culture of conformity to
some degree if you’ve been out in the workforce a while.
You say that it’s been there a
long time and started surfacing when your marriage started showing cracks. It’s
not easy peering into those cracks and coming to terms with what may be causing
the split, and the unfulfillment underneath. You also referred to your ex
causing some trust issues. I guess that’s where the fantasy ends. The gay world
is no different to the straight world. All the problems are the same, thrown in
with some unique problems. I feel like I have taken 50 strides backwards in
trust issues, just when I didn’t need anymore. I have this feeling of empty
hollowness wash over me at the mere thought of placing trust in another women again.
I guess this is something you can work through with your therapist. You don’t
want to walk through life suspicious of everyone, but you want to keep your
wits about you, and know when you’re being lied to and deceived.
I think your mates reaction at
work, the one with all the animosity and saying horrible things, is evidence
that your family may take it better than you thought and your siblings may
already know.
Def
