Immediate support
Immediate support

Sexuality and gender identity

Peer support and conversations about anxiety, depression and other issues in the mental health space affecting LGBTQI+ people.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

MsPurple LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place
  • replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations H... View more

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

Chris_B IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section
  • replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe spa... View more

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

All discussions

Start a discussion

Chey87 Mixed feelings
  • replies: 3

So today I came out for the first time, and instead of feeling relief like I had expected im feeling horrible. Im not sure why, I think it has a lot to do with control and feeling ive lost it now that my secret is out. I don't know any fellow gay fem... View more

So today I came out for the first time, and instead of feeling relief like I had expected im feeling horrible. Im not sure why, I think it has a lot to do with control and feeling ive lost it now that my secret is out. I don't know any fellow gay females and came out to my gay psych and it was our final session so that's ended and im feeling very much alone. Just looking for people to talk to I guess, Thanks for reading

Bowie_Fandom_64 I don't even know anymore
  • replies: 4

Ok so in a nutshell I'm bi curious and i have no idea whats going on. If you have any advice or anything then please reply aha i'm so lost rn.

Ok so in a nutshell I'm bi curious and i have no idea whats going on. If you have any advice or anything then please reply aha i'm so lost rn.

A_luc Questioning my sexuality
  • replies: 1

I'm a 16 year old girl and i've always been pretty boy crazy and I still am but i've always had deep down a part of me that has some attraction to some girls. Its really scary to me as I know being bi isn't a bad thing but its also a brand new territ... View more

I'm a 16 year old girl and i've always been pretty boy crazy and I still am but i've always had deep down a part of me that has some attraction to some girls. Its really scary to me as I know being bi isn't a bad thing but its also a brand new territory that i've always kept in the back of my head for a very long time. I still don't know if i'm bi but it's definitely a thought. I told my friend today as he is part of the lgbtq and I felt good telling him but now that I say it aloud it feels weird and my head feels very foggy. I guess I just wanted to say it out loud

Whichway what is my sexuality
  • replies: 5

Hi everyone, here for a bit of support and advice I've had a bit of a rough time the last 10 years with drug abuse anxiety and bipolar disorder. I have managed them all fairly successfully; lacking some confidence but functioning fairly well in socie... View more

Hi everyone, here for a bit of support and advice I've had a bit of a rough time the last 10 years with drug abuse anxiety and bipolar disorder. I have managed them all fairly successfully; lacking some confidence but functioning fairly well in society in regards to happiness, degree, job, family, etc. Now after all the trials and tribulations, I've come undone again which has not happened in years. Long story short one day before all the mental health stuff i freaked out years ago because i thought i was gay, i felt like it was the first time my mind had deceived me... never had a homosexual thought in my life, but have also never had a serious relationship with a woman.. slept with a number of them but was never interested in a long term thing. I just figured it wasn't really for me relationships and i got along pretty happily alone. However recently i have met this really really great girl. shes everything i could have dreamed of... she also likes me back. but the anxiety about being gay comes up.. i don't understand it, its, i really like her but i get this very uncomfortable feeling around her like i'm not getting what i want from a relationship from her. However i just don't crave anything from anyone else sexually.. Anyway i have been trying to work through this on my own to no avail, have done some things and tried to logically think my way through it, also sitting and observing my feelings and thoughts that have not really helped me at all. where I'm at is I kind of have been left with the idea that i might be looking for something in a woman that they cant give me, its something i need to give myself. Its kind of the same reason i don't have any of close friends i think they will leave me/ see me as damaged goods so i have trouble opening up to them or being myself. However around family members who i figure i will have for life, i am the warmest and most loving person. I was hoping some people on here could offer me some advice, or point me in the right direction. I have spoken to my family about this and they are somewhat at odds with how to help me. Much appreciated B

Blue_dragon I’ve thought about it, and it’s time to take action
  • replies: 1

Hello everyone, I am humbly asking for your assistance as I question my sexuality. I am 19 years of age, male and I think I may be homosexual. A little bit of context; my family whom I love dearly are conservative Catholics (my parents at least) and ... View more

Hello everyone, I am humbly asking for your assistance as I question my sexuality. I am 19 years of age, male and I think I may be homosexual. A little bit of context; my family whom I love dearly are conservative Catholics (my parents at least) and as a result I have had to suppress thoughts, feelings and desires I’ve experienced towards certain guys. There is this constant internal conflict of my family values, religious beliefs and my desires that rages on whenever I try to define my sexual identity. But I’ve reached the stage where I want to live my truth. The funny thing is I’m not quite sure what my truth is, I know that I am sexually attracted to certain males but emotionally I’m not sure because I’ve never been with a guy. What if this is misdirected lust? Whenever I see things on social media about heterosexual couple goals I feel as though I’d love to have such a relationship. Where do I go from here? I’ve read and heard a lot about exploring but I don’t know what that entails. For instance should I consensually kiss a guy (I’m sorry if that sounds ignorant it’s just that I really don’t know where to go from here). I’d honestly be grateful to those who are able to share their discovery journeys with me. I’d also love to here other catholic youth stories about reconciling and integrating their religious faith and sexual identity, because if I could I’d want to try and integrate my catholic faith with that of my sexual identity. But I understand that this may not be a possibility. I also read an article from the Pope saying that “parents should take their children to a psychiatrist if they see homosexual tendencies arise”. This has made me quite fearful of myself. Is there something wrong with me? Am I somehow abnormal? Am I sinning by acting on these tendencies? I’m sorry to end on such a chaotic note.

GKD I don’t know if I can continue my life lying to my self
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, im very new and scared to do this but I’ll jump straight in. I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years to my girlfriend (and living together for 2 years) but I’ve always questioned my sexuality. Lately it’s been on my mind so often that it... View more

Hi everyone, im very new and scared to do this but I’ll jump straight in. I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years to my girlfriend (and living together for 2 years) but I’ve always questioned my sexuality. Lately it’s been on my mind so often that it feels like it’s all I think about. I really love her will all my heart we’ve been through so much together but about 6 months ago she approached me about my sexuality and confirmed that I like men as well this was so hard for me as I’ve never opened up to anyone before, she was so understanding and supportive. lately she keeps being up the rest of our lives and reality has really been setting in that I’m with her for the rest of my life (which is really stressing me out) because I feel like I don’t even know my self of the sex of the person that I want to be with for the rest of my life. I know that if we were to break up I’d never get with another female as I really know I’m more attracted to men. In saying all this I don’t even know where to start, what to do or even to do anything at all. I really want her in my life and it really makes me upset thinking of a life without her my whole family loves and wants us to stay together forever, I’m worried that if we break up I’d never see her again. If anyone have been in a similar situation please give me some advice on what to do and how to tackle this. I'm very sorry if You have to try and translate what I’ve said I’m just stress typing, there’s so much to be said that I’ve never had the courage to confront.

bumblebee-sweetpea I Don't Know If I am Completely Straight and I'm Worried
  • replies: 3

Hi I've never discussed this before, but I just sometimes feel like I'm not full straight. I'm a girl who like boys, and that's for certain. Although, if I see a pretty girl, I feel that same flutter. I don't feel like I want to actually have sex wit... View more

Hi I've never discussed this before, but I just sometimes feel like I'm not full straight. I'm a girl who like boys, and that's for certain. Although, if I see a pretty girl, I feel that same flutter. I don't feel like I want to actually have sex with anyone though. I'm a Christian, and although I know Jesus still loves me, I'm more worried about the people in my circle who I care about that won't be so compassionate. -b.b.s.p

Guest_9043 Cyber Bullying and Harassment. Life is hard.
  • replies: 8

Hi everyone, I post often when things are just hard and I am going through too much, so some will know a bit about my life and current circumstances. Very recently (the last 2 days) I was a victim of cyber bullying and harassment through an online Fa... View more

Hi everyone, I post often when things are just hard and I am going through too much, so some will know a bit about my life and current circumstances. Very recently (the last 2 days) I was a victim of cyber bullying and harassment through an online Facebook Group for the LGBT+ Community. I have photo shots of everything that happened. I have left the group. Yesterday was a horrible day to say the least. I completely disassociated quite severely. I am not still not fully back today at all. It cannot take anymore hits. I have already taken 3 other massive hits this week. I just counted how many people were in on this now from my evidence. 25 people bullied and harassed me in less than 25 hours. I did not retaliate nor fuel it any further. I only asked for it to please stop or I would take further action. I did some research about what I could do. Not a heck of a lot really. I just did what was available to me. I made an online official report today to the Australian Cyber Security Centre. It has now been referred to the WA Police. I may or may not get a call to make a formal statement. Apparently in WA it is against the law and there are consequences should the police decide to take any action. Online Bullying and Harassment is looked at, the same as if it were done in person. That is according to what I have read. After doing this I then reported it to Facebook. They are not very helpful at this stage. They will investigate and get back to me. That is all I know. I am not sure what they are going to investigate without knowing what happened. I do however intend on telling them that it has been reported and that I have a report number. I do not know how I feel. It's hard to identify at the moment. I am up and down and every other which way you can be. I have always struggled with trust and safety issues. Continuous work. Now they have flared up massively again and I feel like I just no longer care about working on it. I am getting weaker and weaker to even get up anymore. One day if not already someone is going to kick me down and there will be no getting back up. Yesterday I could not even stand on my feet. I have my partner and here for support. Cant be bothered trying anything else. I'm too exhausted. I have lost faith in humanity after this. People are cruel and no reason is good enough for what I went through. I am not expecting anything to be done about it at all. I have reported it and that is the best I can do.

Magicguy123 Male 31 is it hocd???
  • replies: 6

I keep continually thinking I'm gay, although I know I'm not, and its getting really confusing and hard to do anything. I feel like a completely different person to who I was 6 months ago. I'm a 31 year old male and have never had gay thoughts before... View more

I keep continually thinking I'm gay, although I know I'm not, and its getting really confusing and hard to do anything. I feel like a completely different person to who I was 6 months ago. I'm a 31 year old male and have never had gay thoughts before, I've always noticed attractive men and appreciated their good looks, but I never craved anything from it. But now I I convince myself that I must want to sleep with him, which when I actually truly think about it, it makes me feel very uncomfortable. It's become an obsession in my thoughts which leaves me anxiety ridden most of the time, I can barely focus on anything let alone talk to girls the way I did. It sucks!! I often have breaks from this feeling and I feel relieved and back to myself, where I can achieve my goals, and notice women again. Where I'm focused and excited by life. But sure enough the thought comes back and I convince myself that I'm in denial or closeted, that the version of me that isnt anxiety ridden and confused, the version of me that is free and confident and inspired isnt the real me. That truely I'm this closeted gay man. Who has never before had gay feelings or thoughts. I have no real anxiety about comming out or about what my friends or family would think. The anxiety is in this complete identity shift, how after all the girlfriends, lovers and one night stands could I have missed this, how could I have not noticed. Is it possible I turned gay, ive kissed a guy before, it didn't bother me or leave me perplexed or confused I brushed it off as a nothing incidence just a 21yr old looking for attention, thinking it was funny, and it was, but straight after I was back to talking to girls and even took a chick home that night. What's going on here?

FreakyRatGoblin Social space for gender fluid people
  • replies: 3

Hi I've been having trouble lately keeping myself from getting caught up in gender dysphoria and every time it gets me, i end up isolating myself more. I'm lucky enough to have some solid friends who are willing to let me sliiightly break down a litt... View more

Hi I've been having trouble lately keeping myself from getting caught up in gender dysphoria and every time it gets me, i end up isolating myself more. I'm lucky enough to have some solid friends who are willing to let me sliiightly break down a little when they're not busy, but i'm realising that there must be healthier ways of dealing with these thoughts, so that they're not constantly seeing me at my worst. So i was wondering if anyone knows of any good places to bring stuff like that up (besides this place, obviously), and also if anyone's got some useful brain tips to share.