Sexuality and gender identity

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LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place

replies: 221

Welcome LGBT+ members and ally to the community. A few LGBT+ forum users have questions and concerns they can't a find a place to ask it here on the beyond blue forums so I thought starting a place for questions and more serious/heavy conversations Here you can ask questions about anything from questioning your sexuality/gender identity, coming out concerns, dating, mental health etc. If you are an ally (an Ally is a person who considers themselves a friend to the LGBTQ+ community) you are also welcome to come here to be a support to our community and ask questions as well. This is a supportive place for people to discuss their questions and concerns, we are not a place of judgement. As Thumper from the movie Bambi said "If you can't say somethin' nice, don't say nothin' at all." If you are looking for a more social and light hearted conversation might I suggest joining us on the thread under BB social/rainbow cafe. Copy and paste the link: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/let's-chat-about-anything Feel free to introduce yourself below and ask any question/s I thought I'd answer one common question in the intro post and this is one I have heard a lot. What do the letters mean? When referring to the community it is shortened to LGBT+ as there are more letters than just the 4. I have put some of the common ones here: Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender Transsexual Two-spirited Queer Questioning Intersex Asexual Ally Pansexual Agender Gender Queer Welcome everyone and hope to see you around on this thread and around the BB forums MP

by MsPurple •

Blue Voices Member•

Posted in Sexuality and gender identity

•

22-08-2017

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221 unread

IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section

replies: 0

The Sexuality & Gender Identity space is a sub-forum within the wider beyondblue forum community. 1. Its purpose is to provide people who identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, transsexual, transgender, intersex, queer or questioning (LGBTIQ) a safe space to talk about how issues relating to gender identity and sexual orientation impact on mental health and wellbeing. 2. This includes discussion of and support around chronic illnesses such as HIV which disproportionately affect gay, bisexual and other men who have sex with men. 3. As this is a safe and affirming space for LGBTIQ individuals, please note this is not an appropriate space for debating the "rights and wrongs" of homosexuality, bisexuality, or gender fluidity itself. This includes use of terms such as "lifestyle" and "choice". 4. This sub-forum is and always will be a safe and supportive place for LGBTIQ people concerned with what we all need to do to stay well. That said, others are welcome provided they respect that this is primarily a LGBTIQ space. 5. If you do not identify as LGBTIQ, or are not currently supporting someone in your life who is LGBTIQ, and are curious about aspects of sexuality or gender identity, please read through beyondblue’s resources for and about LGBTIQ people here to educate yourself rather than posting in this section.

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Little confused

replies: 5

Hey! I’m relatively new here, but it seems like a really supportive platform! I’ve begun to question my sexuality a little bit and I think I might be bisexual, but I’m too scared to settle on a label if that makes sense. Im very grateful that my parents would be supportive if I did come out, but I’m too scared that maybe I’m not, I would hate to label myself as bi just to find out I’m straight, idk it feels wrong to the community But some background: unfortunately because of a lack of representation, I’ve barely even known (or not known but like been involved or new people who were apart of) the (LGBT+) community, and during high school I made friends who were openly gay or bi, but it was never something I thought about like ever, I just assumed I was straight because I know I like boys. I’m 18 now and for the past year or so (after a friend came out actually) I’ve started thinking, maybe that feeling and admiration is a little more. I’m just confused as to if I’m just like admiring or finding girls beautiful or if I’m actually attracted. Every time I think I can say yes you are bi, I question myself like ....but are you really? People always say to take your time or labels aren’t for everyone. But I’m still pressured because everyone seems to know by 14 or earlier from who I know, and I’m scared that I’m making up these feelings. Which, by making them up, would probably make me a bad person? I’m not sure I hope this makes a little sense! I just want to know if other people feel like this because it’s so confusing. thank you for reading and possibly responding, sending love! Xx

Coming out as Trans to my parents.

replies: 2

Hi! For the last 25 years I have lived my life as Jason, a male pretending to be highly masculine in order to fit in with his small town surroundings. But never in my life was I happy or confident within myself and I often found myself looking at my self in the mirror and hating what I see. A week ago from today I came out to my partner as transgender and nothing in life has ever felt so freeing or so right. It's as if everything in my life suddenly makes sense and I've had a constant flood since of repressed memorys that should have revealed my true gender when I was only very young. So I'm obviously very happy and very confident that I'm making the right descicion, the next big hurdle however is my parents. My parents aren't inherently bad people, but they certainly aren't understanding people when it comes to gender or sexuality issues. Hence why they don't even know that I'm Bisexual. In fact I'm so worried about there reaction to this I came out to my sister first and she made me swear that I wouldn't come out to them without her there. If anybody out there has any suggestions or advice for me to make it easier to come out to my parents I would really appreciate it. I understand that everybody's individual circumstances are different but any help would be fantastic. Thankyou so much in advance! kind regards, Jasmine.

Am I Gay?

replies: 4

Hey all I have come out as bisexual to my friends or peers and have been accepted from what I am aware. I have NOT come out to any family members as I do not now how to talk to them. I have been struggling lately though as I think I might be a lesbian. I don't particularly like the word lesbian so I will use gay instead. I find some boys cute but I am not overly attracted to them either sexually or to their personality etc. I am attracted to more feminine boys but I am very picky. On the other hand, I find girls way more attractive than guys and will always focus on the girl in any situation. I think I am holding back from committing to calling myself gay as I am afraid to come out to my family. My parents have always said they would accept us if we were attracted to the same gender but that is where they draw the line. I hope they will accept me but I am afraid to fully commit in fear of judgement. Does anyone have a similar story they have dealt with before or is currently going through? Just looking for advice thanks.

Enby pride

replies: 3

Hi all. Are there any non-binary pals here. I feel alone in my gender. No one gets it or want to understand. No one uses my pronouns. Just seeing if anyone is gender fluid/non-binary out there. Hi.

My heterosexual fiancé is bisexual and has been cheating on me

replies: 1

I just found out that my heterosexual male fiancé is actually bisexual. More importantly, I also discovered that he has been cheating on me with other men online by chatting with hordes of strangers, even before we met. Even after we began dating, he continued exchanging nude pictures with men online, engaging in online sexual talk and video-chatting with random strangers as they pleasured themselves. As of yesterday, he was still messaging these men online. We both have LGBTQI friends that we love dearly. But in the time we’ve known each other, he has always asserted he’s heterosexual. We were planning to get married 1.5 years later. We had a calm and tearful chat about this when I found out. He finally admitted that he has always felt he’s bisexual. He also claims that he has only been physically intimate with one man before. However, this happened during the course of our relationship when he was away on vacation. We were arguing and he hired a male escort. He claimed that he didn’t enjoy the sexual experience at all. He has been sorrowful, apologetic and insists that his love for me is genuine. He says he doesn’t expect me to forgive him but he really wishes I could still give him a chance. He also acknowledges that he didn’t realise this before but he now realises that his attitude has been selfish and his actions hurtful. He also feels that he has been addicted to the online interactions because of the thrill it brings, and he didn’t realise that he was cheating on me. He has agreed with me that he needs to speak to a therapist about his issues. To further exacerbate the problem, I’ve also moved away from my home country and settled down in Australia where he is from. 1) I don’t know if I can still trust him after all this deceit even though he kept saying over and over that he truly loves me and wants to spend his life with me. He mentioned his intention was to hide this secret to his deathbed. 2) At this stage, I feel so lost. I don’t know whether to call off our engagement. I’m still in disbelief because we have a happy and strong relationship, and he is a sweet and wonderful person. 3) I don’t know if he would lie again, even though he says that he no longer has any secrets now and he has emailed a therapist to book an appointment. 4) While I feel sorry for him, I cannot comprehend how he didn’t realise he was cheating on me. Pleasuring himself with others. Online a exual chats. Physical intercourse with an escort.

Newbie and a little confused....... well a LOT confused

replies: 2

uhhh hi, so basically this is my first time on a forum and I'm not really good at talking to people but this is my go at it and I'm just looking for advice or answers cause honestly I don't really know. So I'm in high school and I've had my fair share of crushes on boys but also off and on thoughts about whether or not I'm straight. I honestly don't think that I'm straight at this point in time but I don't know whether to tell my friends about it. I'm a very open person and wouldn't hesitate to tell my friends but I don't want to tell them and then be like wait no. I don't think the wait no would happen but it's complicated and just hmmmmmmmmmmmmm. Because while I've liked quite a few boys, the attraction goes away pretty quickly and then I just go and like someone else after a while because teenage thingsss. But on the other side of that, the girls that I hang out with make me question my questioning because I'm not attracted to any of them but I would rather be not anyway, but the thing is some of them (sorry to my friends) can be reallyyyyy annoying and whiny and honestly, eventually I get bored of it. I don't know if I'm just thinking this because the crushes I've had didn't work out but I don't think so because I didn't mind if nothing came of them, and also whenever I have read books about girls ending up together I was like I want that to be me and the same thing doesn't happen with most straight couples in books but then I think that that could just be coincidental because it was a nice story and it sends me off into confusion. Also sometimes I think that if I told people I was bi or lesbian, (I put both because I don't know where I fall right now) they would say that I was too young to make a proper choice about that and that just makes me doubt. Sometimes I think I'm straight but other times I have mad lesbian vibes and other times I just fall in between. Any thoughts?

I don’t know who I am

replies: 52

Um so hi? I’m kind of looking to forums to see if anyone can help me. I’m really struggling with my gender identity and quite frankly I’ve lost my perception of who I am because I’ve spent over 4 years thinking about it. I don’t know exactly where this problem came from but as soon as I started 6th grade I started questioning my gender identity as I was starting puberty, I hated my body because I didn’t look like the other boys which lead me to think I was ftm transgender. As I’ve grown I’ve tried to convince myself that it was just a phase but that hatred and discomfort is still there. I hate being perceived the way I am, just being called “Sister” or “Daughter” actually makes me crumble and I can’t fix it. I tend to think I’m not trans enough because I liked stereotypically feminine things when I was younger. These small things make me think I’m female and it makes me feel worse. I’ve just lost myself so much, I’m in Ninth grade, stuck at home in quarantine and I have no idea how to figure out who I am, I don’t even know what to call myself.

Mixed feelings

replies: 3

So today I came out for the first time, and instead of feeling relief like I had expected im feeling horrible. Im not sure why, I think it has a lot to do with control and feeling ive lost it now that my secret is out. I don't know any fellow gay females and came out to my gay psych and it was our final session so that's ended and im feeling very much alone. Just looking for people to talk to I guess, Thanks for reading

I don't even know anymore

replies: 4

Ok so in a nutshell I'm bi curious and i have no idea whats going on. If you have any advice or anything then please reply aha i'm so lost rn.

Questioning my sexuality

replies: 1

I'm a 16 year old girl and i've always been pretty boy crazy and I still am but i've always had deep down a part of me that has some attraction to some girls. Its really scary to me as I know being bi isn't a bad thing but its also a brand new territory that i've always kept in the back of my head for a very long time. I still don't know if i'm bi but it's definitely a thought. I told my friend today as he is part of the lgbtq and I felt good telling him but now that I say it aloud it feels weird and my head feels very foggy. I guess I just wanted to say it out loud

LGBT+ members - got a question - need somewhere to start - here is the place replies: 221

IMPORTANT: Information and guidelines for posting in this section replies: 0

Little confused replies: 5

Coming out as Trans to my parents. replies: 2

Am I Gay? replies: 4

Enby pride replies: 3

My heterosexual fiancé is bisexual and has been cheating on me replies: 1

Newbie and a little confused....... well a LOT confused replies: 2

I don’t know who I am replies: 52

Mixed feelings replies: 3

I don't even know anymore replies: 4

Questioning my sexuality replies: 1