How do I know for certain if I'm in the right or wrong in a given conflict? My immediate reaction most times beyond heavy caffeine use is to shut down and not say a word in order to not feel threatened or potentially harmed in anyway. Or be as polite, kind and apologetic as possible to avoid escalation.
In terms of my social life, I am dead afraid of somehow doing the wrong thing by accident due to ignorance of social convention. In my lowest states I'm rigid, robotic and unnatural in my responses especially in the face of people I deem intimidating, reactive or intense. I feel constantly guilty around people even if I do nothing explicitly upsetting or obviously offensive. I feel the need to think very carefully and methodically about social convention and whether I've done even the slightest thing wrong in a given situation. Even when I think an unacceptable thought I'm worried someone actually hears it from my head and thus is put off by it.
So in essence, how can I for sure know to be justified in being assertive and not be overly self-conscious of my mistakes? Is ignorance without malicious intent justified or am I still ethically held accountable for the minutest violation of social conduct? I understand if I were to live in Japan the latter would be answered in the affirmative, yet in Australia, social convention seems vaguer and more uncertain depending on the demographic, with Baby Boomers seeming more reactive than later generations. I grew up in Hobart and yet I feel just as clueless of social norms and ethical justification as if it's my first day living here.
I'd love some clarity from ya'll, thank you.
