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When Her Family Lies Too

Community Member

Im finding my seperated wifes family lying. I know that blood is thicker than water, but they could atleast admit it and just say we stand by her no matter what she has done.

It really has hurt me cause I have put them first in a lot of situations in our married life.

I have asked them to prove me wrong with the information that she started an affair whilst married to me, but they say the social media accounts where I get this information from were hacked???

They say the police are investigating, but I havent heard anything since.....

4 Replies 4

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

hi lovemygirls,

I'm at a loss to think how we can help you here. It does not seem clear to me that you are suffering any form of mental illness or such.

Good luck but perhaps a mediator is your answer.

Tony WK

Vegetarian Marshmallow
Community Member
Why would police investigate a claim of an extramarital affair?  Is it tied up to a crime?

If the entirety of the issue is "she might have had an affair", then I don't know what your interest is in investigating it.  If your interest is in getting back together with her (and she wants to get back together with you as well), then surely it just boils down to "Ask her; and you either trust what she says, or you don't".  If you're not going to get back together, why does it matter at all who she is or was romantically involved with?  What's it going to affect?

I think the case hear is LMG is angry and hurt with thus situation. As harsh as it sounds, but I went through similar, is once you start to let go of the anger, you can begin to move on with your life and you do have to move on. You cannot change anything and the okd adage of time will heal becomes a reality with this. 

Community Member

Hi there LMG


This situation is a tough one for you.


But I think the biggest underlying stressor that you have at the moment is how to arrange things in the very near future (ie:  very near meaning hopefully as of tomorrow and beyond) for appropriate access to your daughters.  This is the most paramount thing that I can see.


I think the fact that your separated wife is with another bloke, yes, that would be bloody tough to come to terms with, but this seems to be the situation and she (and he) are the only ones who are going to change anything in that regard.


With regard to the ‘out-laws’, I would be doing all in my power to cut off ties with them and the term blood is thicker than water IS true for most families – but it’s not always the case, and I’ve got living proof of a blood relative that screws that terminology over, BIG time – but that’s not overly relevant in this context.  In fact he’s not overly relevant in any context -  oh Neil, very catty!   Sorry, I’ve digressed.  Now, where were we?  Oh yeah … I’m back now.


Cut them out of your contacts and your life – cause from what you’ve mentioned, they’re going to stick strong to “their” daughter and for you to continue down the path you’re going is only going to further separate whatever relationship you originally had with them.   Leave them to find out on their own – and that’s IF they do, and if they don’t, then they don’t.


As I mentioned earlier, the massively important thing here is:  I’d be doing everything and more to have as much contact with your girls – and finding out options that are available to you to seek this out.


Kind regards