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Treating my Partner Terribly

Community Member

I have adhd and depression and I’m going through a really rough patch right now. I’ll be okay and I’ll get through it. It isn’t unfamiliar territory but for the first time I’m finding myself being really hostile to my partner of 4 years.

I know it’s because of my mental state right now. For example this morning I made breakfast and he hadn’t cleaned the dishes from the dinner I made the night before, so I didn’t have the pan I needed, and I got irrationally upset about it. Called him a liar and that he never follows through on his word, things that are objectively false, and I could hear them coming out of my mouth but couldn’t stop myself saying it.

We really never fight but I’m finding everything about him infuriating, for no reason at all. I feel terrible because he’s not doing anything wrong. I feel like an overfull glass and any tiny bump makes me spill. I’m super guilty about being so nasty and easily upset right now. It’s not fair on him and I really don’t know how to handle it best.

He’s never dealt with mental health issues so he’s having a hard time understanding that it’s not him, it’s literally just my brain faltering right now.

Anyone been through similar problems and have any advice? Or can just relate, it always feels better to know this kind of thing is a shared experience.

thanks everyone

1 Reply 1

Community Member

Hi Aurora_B.

Hope you are travelling well and today is a better one. Every day is a new day so lets thank ourselves for being great people. From what you said, it sounds like some possible anger causing you to feel irritated/disappointment at your partner. Know that we are human and it's okay to feel frustrated a times.

When I become upset with my partner, I refer to our white kitchen tiled splash-back that we use as a big white board where I have written in large letters: "You don't have to feel this way."

Hope this helps.