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There is HOPE.🐞 Even if you cant see it right now🐞

Coco_Channel
Community Member
Hello I am new to this form..Well as my sleeping  disorder governed by my depression & aniety keeps me up at this time of the morning,I am reading the form posts and every box is ticked when reading the many stories of others, I realize I am not alone.I too have called in sick and not gone to work and felt all the guilt that goes with that territory, I too have lost endless jobs that would of lead to a rewarding career, I took have been unable to hold a relationship,I too have wanted to stay under the covers for days on end,I too have hidden how I really was feeling,I too have been bullied because of my illness.I ask so many times over,how do you get over being robbed of your childhood by parents that looked after their own ego and married you at such an early age. When all that you wanted to do was study and practice Law-Your cousin did- you missed out How do you get over been abused in that marriage in every aspect imaginable-12 years later you are now divorced with a 3 month old son.you are disowned by family..Now you begin the long journey to find your place in the world only to find you cant.You try to fit in the workplace,it seems impossible you stagger through the next 15 years.OK so your settled..a lot of up;s and down;s emotionally and physically..but you get by..then hold on.your ready to forgive family your in a good place...enrolled as a mature age student and want to study Law, about to begin the journey you so wanted to do at 16 yrs of age,,pick up where life brutally robbed you of your goals, your in control now....oh that's right you forgave family they now need your help because they are about to lose their home...you are not realizing it yet, but again been robbed of your goal. being pressured  by family ,only to find your self in the mist of a huge legal mess, fighting their court battles, paying the families legal costs,great results short term, they keep their home.You take on their mortgage ,made verbal promises that they will up keep it.Only to find your self 3 years later, in courts VCAT through High Court,self represented,  this stage legal team has let you down, no money,no help. Because the family did not pay the mortgage from day 1.The family blames you.You keep trying to fight for the truth..no avail
..you have lost everything due to the financial loss that was suffered during the legal fight to keep your family home. How does one view the world you ask.There are good days,there are bad days.but don't  give up.there is hope.🐞
 
1 Reply 1

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi CC, welcome

Thankyou so much for a brilliant account.

I think most of us can relate to losing opportunities through family expectations. Having said that we time and time again return to the family we lost to support them only to suffer the consequences.

I knew this a few years ago (am 59yo). So time was up repeating the same mistakes. I have two daughters 26 and 22. And the younger one has been heavily influenced by her mother to the point whereby the relationship with me is doomed. Yes, I left the family home due to abuse from her mother when my daughter was 4yo but I did the very best I could...never a child support payment late and in addition paid $14,000 to get her teeth and jaw realigned. I could have forced her mother to pay half of that but no....my love dictated my pocket.

Last year my youngest asked to be friends on Facebook. it lasted 6 weeks, all was good. Then out of the blue defriended me. Typical of her - no explaination. When I sent her a message- no answer. Silence, the tool of hurt used by her mother during our marriage is the tool passed down to my daughter. So what do you do?

I will likely have her want to come into my life again. MY rules and boundaries are set. I will not be cruel. If she wants to see me I'm here. My home - no where else. If she has a man in her life or has kids- dont bring them. I will not tear my heart out by loving them and getting rejected. The trust is over.

These boundaries are for protection. We all must create our own boundaries and if over time you feel safe enough to whittle those boundaries down then do so....but not to leap into the old life is to gamble like in roulette.

Tony WK