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So lonely i feel ill

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member
Just hoping for some help i am in absolute despair. I'm completely lonely, have no family and no friends. My loneliness is literally killing me and i don't know what to do anymore. Although i tried to get out there and do things but nothing works and no one to connect with. I feel like i don't exist and nobody sees me. As a 39 year old male, making friends is becoming impossible. I'm too scared to spend the rest of my life like this...
32 Replies 32

Heyaz 😊

Are yous feelin a bit less lonely here? Hope so

I know how yaz feel as mentioned im lucky to have lot friend & love in my life but yeah im ok with casual too but it'd be nice if they actually cared, wow how sad does that sound but truth, yeah they like me but dont really give a toss if any sense there

Many i know dont have what we had, my beautiful fella we had 28yrs & were happy loved eachother & very conten but losing that is like losing an arm but again grateful & lucky to have had someon love me so deeply,reciprocated.

I hear what yous are saying & as above someon wisely said we don't know what's around the corner, thats hope we need it, keeps us goin

Touch i miss biggly & blurting it all out, rah rah now i have to talk to myself lol, nah i vent at times to friend but not same

We need people well most of us do, doubt i could ever not. Admire those that are happy in their own compan its a must for survival to like ourselves im learning & gettin there, hard yakka goin from extrem low self esteem but winnin, then i'll have to deal with conceit πŸ˜…

Go easy on ourselves aye, we're worthy & when we start believing it things may well change for better

Catch yaz ☺

Sorry for your loss. Although not the same my ex husband and I were together 13 yrs married 5. He was amazing and loved me so much and cared for me so much. We shared a really fulfilling life along with our 2 kids. Until our break up. Which came as a total shock to me and he turned Into a monster. Im still unclear as what happened to him He just seemed to change over night. He left 4 yrs ago the first year after break up he put me through absolute hell then one day he just left and I haven't seen him since or talked to him. Either have our children. I still wonder if he will ever just show up one day. The loss of him has left me so sick and fragile. My Mind has been a mess but I finally feel ok again but the loneliness is bringing me down so much. I'm trying to hang in there. Thank you for your kind words

I finally began to feel ok. I pushed through all on my own. I literally have no family and no friends. My kids were all I had. I survived for them. But I ache for happiness for myself too some one to love and care for me. Some one to share life with. The World to me since all of this happened is a very dark scary cold place

Thankyou life, nearly 3 yrs which other day i eas talking to him (sooo glad mil said once she still talks to deceased husband, it soothes) & said I've lived nearly 3 yrs without you, thought we were going to grow old together

Jeez what terrible hurt you've been/going through, & not knowing would be sooo hard. Really feel for you & long time together. Do you think sorry if this hurts maybe some closure, he may have met someone? Though yous were happy so less likely aye.

Whatever happened to not contact kids too, devastating. Drugs?, MI? Really sorry for your grief too, completely understand how youd be so destroyed & fragile.

A good friend had long term happy as relationship with a bloke who got very sick & completely changed too but at very least she knew what was going on.

Yeah it's all of our basic needs to be loved, nothing’s more powerful than love.

Good on you getting through alone you poor thing, loneliness is very underestimated & cruel.

Never forget good people yous have real people here just not face on & these ones care

Caravan how you getting on?

Ahh db , sorry for your loss, damn .

but l've been being told we should savor and be thankful for the good times , sounds like an idea huh , tyin to get my head in the right place with that one.

And life , double damn, and one more damn for the road but yepppa heard that sorta story a lot in the divorce forum l was in, and lived where you are through mine, had no one , just some time with my duaghter. faked it till l made it , couldn't share it with anyone except in that forum l was in. but in alone time which was mostly , yeahh, twas ugly. l'm so sorry you guys are in it, and it's just heartbreaking for the kids, hate it so much.

we were 19yrs all up had a complicated life but we were were an envy couple mostly , great match , last few yrs were big stresses though , we just handled them all wrong , lost oursleves , but no way we had to split , we could've turned the corner again and then my w went into early menopause, only 39 and depression , hid it , went on 2yrs , behind me , she faked it , not her fault l was everywhere too but it really messed with her on top of everything else. anyway.

l'm so sorry your where your at ., big cuddles. just a day at a time , baby steps, one foot in front of the other, and sometimes they turn in to two , and then a wk , and then months and back and fortha dn every which way.

Have you got a thread , should start one if ya haven't .

hang in there eh.

Even if he has met some one else I still can not get closure as we never actually sorted anything. I have constant thoughts of what happened. Reading some of these posts I ask myself maybe it was a MI maybe it was drugs maybe it was this or that. I'm not sure I'll ever know. For the life of me i can not understand why he doesn't contact our kids. I was always one who sat back even through the break up gave him what he wanted. I used to call him throughout the first year and beg him to see the children because they were hurting and missing him so much. He seen them a handful of times until the day he just took off. I rang his number it was disconnected and never heard from him since. I've tried to talk to a few family members of his but they ignore me. So I eventually gave up. I've put all my time into getting my kids happy and through the pain and suffering and I finally feel they are ok again although they often ask heartbreaking questions like do you think dad misses us do you think dad knows it's my birthday etc.... I'm finding it hard to keep the happy up for them.

its good that you talk to him still. it sounds like you had a truly loving fulfilling life with him. Something you can always cherish. My happy memories of my past with him have turned to sadness I feel our life was worthless and I will never understand why he ended it this way.

Thx Random, thats right in time good mems become moreso than the pain, hits hard at times but getting through. Yeah same many saw us as envy couple too

You've had your share of grief too, what a shameshe hid it, u derstand but communications what we're not good at as a whole, im thinking she held back so not to pull you down & menapause rough for many, i did this affective hard self talk, working wonders btw, said nah not havin it, go through enough with BP (bipolar) emotional torture & worked but heard many horror stories, its our emotions we need to get a grip on,very hard very powerful but doable & worth it for inner peace

Life good idea of Randoms if you wanna do a thread we can jump in & still be there for you

Yeah not knowing really screws with the head, somethings not right, suss family ignoring you, bloody nightmare

Caravan you know we're here for you, you're not alone anymore darl. Hope you come back & tell us where you're at. You've created an important thread & at very least can see many feel same with different reasons.

Tc peeps xx

I have created my own thread not so much with my story but how I feel each day. It's "I hate waking up" I'm sorry Caravan. I would also like to hear back from you. Hope you are ok

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

It's really heartbreaking to read everyone's struggle with loneliness. Sending virtual hugs to you all.

I don't know what else to say really. I have heard great things about Mens Shed (which was mentioned earlier). Also Befriend Social Network - not sure if it's Perth only - but this is a very friendly and accepting group.

Meetup Groups (again, mentioned earlier) - I have found a bit hit and miss, but worth persevering. Also Facebook have friendship groups where people start chatting and occasionally will organise to meet up.

Volunteering - I did a couple of days stuffing envelopes at RSPCA last year and everyone was nice and friendly.

GROW mental health support groups.

I hope some of this helps someone x

Ahh db , ypou get me , l knew you would. xx

And life , l''l find your thread but look , with your kids ,sorry caravan , hope your ok, come back we;re here for yo.

But life , you tell them their dad has just gotten sick right now and of course he still loves them and remembers their birthday, and he;;ll get better.You tell them something like that and that he;kk be back for them.

My w and l were still getting along good after she moved out, but one day l went to see my daughter, my ex and l got into a bit of a tangle over a credit card debt.but she wnet off her nut and threatened to call the police on me, infront of my daughetr , she was a lunatic ,l'm just huhhhhh !!!!!!!!

l said to my d comeon darlin lets go buy some food somewhere ,mu will be ok don't worry.

well later in the car l told d about mums menopause and that she just isn't herself. l said it'll pass but it might take a few more years yet. but she loves you and she still loves me , she's just a bit messed up.

D says , oh shit dado is that what's wrong with her. God one of our teachers is menopausing , she was crazy , they put her off for 12 mths. Huh, all of 15 then , she knew all about it. Kids , lovem/

But the pint is life , she got the sickness thing, the relate to it for some reason. Try that , l'm sure it'll help and give them something. He will be back for them one day he'll be full of so much regret for what he's done.

Sorry caravan , back to you mate.soemtimes these things just come up.