Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

Ruined trust

Community Member

One night he was out drinking with friends and I told him I was going to sleep as I had work. I woke up with a sick feeling in my stomach. I went to his and found him passed out naked outside. I looked at his phone and he messaged a girl saying he wanted to be in bed with her. I woke him up and read it out to him. He looked confused and constantly kept saying he doesn't remember doing that or why he did it. He told me it was the heavy spirits and he will stop drinking them and I took him back. He started drinking lots of beers instead.6 months later he starts drinking every day and starts being in this mood where he ignores me. Eventually he goes from drinking beers to drinking vodka. He brings up some things from my past before I even met him.I tell him it's none of his business who certain people I've slept with are. I tell him to stop.He keeps going. He starts calling me a liar constantly.Eventually he goes out and gets drunk with his mate. He comes home and tries to act like nothing happened. I'm mad and hurt from how he's been talking to me and I start to ignore him. He goes drinking all day and night again.He comes home starts being mean then passes out. I'm feeling really untrustworthy at this point and go through his snapchat. In his recents there's 6 girls names there but in the conversations list all chats have been deleted. I lose it at him. He constantly says he hasn't deleted anything. He's got nothing to hide. Eventually he says yes one girl is his friend and he deleted the convo coz he's worried I would lose my cool at him. I told him how suspicious it is that he deleted messages and if something wasn't going on why hide it expecting to not get caught out. He continues to think he's done nothing wrong. He keeps saying he's never spoken to those other girls and doesn't know why it says they've recently talked because apparently he's never spoken to them ever. I feel so betrayed. I really don't believe a single thing that comes out of his mouth...he's like I want to be with you. I'll delete snapchat. I told him deleting snapchat won't change whether I believe him.I explained how it makes me feel bcoz he tried to be unfaithful before.I'm so hurt. I'm over told he's not lying and then constantly finding out he was. I hate who he is when he drinks.I've been feeling so low for a week now. Started smoking weed again to try numb everything. He's constantly asking me to tell him if I want to be with him or not. I don't know what I want to do. Help.

1 Reply 1

Hi Intoodeep,

We are sorry to hear that things have been so difficult in your relationship and that you are feeling so hurt and low over what has happened. We understand this must be such a hard and overwhelming time for you right now, so please know that you never have to go through this alone, and support is always here for you.

If you would like to talk to someone, the Beyond Blue Support Service is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  One of our friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings with you and can offer support, advice and referrals.

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277 who provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities.

We hope that you will find some comfort here on the forums. Please feel free to keep reaching out here on your thread whenever you feel up to it.