Married and have a crush on some from work - Please help me

[lordrainyday8888]

I am a happily married guy with a beautiful and supporting wife - However, off lately met this girl at work and gone head over heels about her - I cannot stop thinking about and miss her every second in my life. when I see this girl at I am super energetic and very happy when I am with her and the movement I am back home - I unable to concentrate on anything and trying everything to stop thinking about her - But unable to do so the girl from work does not even know I love her so much and she is a good friend of mine and unable to express my feelings for her. Please help me - I don't know what to do - it's just driving me insane. I am pretty much-consuming alcohol every day in copious mounts just to sleep - I am totally frustrated with this situation and even thought of telling this person i have feelings for her but way too afraid to let her know. Can someone please advised me what i need to - thanks for your'e support

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Matchy,

Yes definitely, My emotions are going out of control and unable to stop - I feel I am obsessed by this lady.

Unfortunately, I won't be able to tell her as the situation is she works with me and I need to see her on a daily basis which will be very very awkward for me and her - and moreover, I don't think so I have the courage to let her know. I am trying my level best to get a new job so I can move on and let her know eventually. The thing is every day I decide not to chat with her and the movement I see her - Bang I am lost - Hopefully, some solution comes to my mind ASAP so I should be able to let her know. will keep posted on how it goes - Thanks for your'e support mark - TC

[Matchy69]

Hi lordrainyday I can feel your emotional pain.I wonder if you can rekindle that flame you have with your wife.What was it that made you fall in love with her and wanted to marry her?Do you still have that same spark as you did when you first met her.Can you try and concentrate on your wife and try and rekindle the magic you once had?I know it is a difficult thing when you have thoughts about another woman but you need to let go and try to move forward.

Take care,

Mark.

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Mark,

I met my partner 9 years back at mate's BBQ and we slowly hit off - The reason I love her and married her as she is very nice, easy to connect emotionally, simple, pretty much both of us love to travel and then after 5 years we decided to get married. Now I feel the spark between both of us is completely diminished as she is always busy with work commitment and currently it has come to a point where even when she wants to have a conversation I am always thinking of the girl from work and unable to concentrate and skip the conversation.

I am just totally worn out mentally and physically and need to let the girl from work know i have feelings for her.

[Matchy69]

Hi lordrainyday it seems to be a common thing where one person in a relationship becomes busy with work and other commitments.It makes it hard when you do try and talk you are thinking of the other girl.Telling this girl how you feel could be a hard thing to do.If you do and she rejects you it could make things very difficult at work and cause you more emotional pain.Sometimes just the thought of being with someone else can be a great fantasy and in reality it just doesn't work.
Take care,
Mark.

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Matchy69,

The worst thing is emotional pain which will drive me to the wall. I do understand it might be fantasy but in reality, it is something else. I feel the only to get out of this pain is to tell the girl from work what I feel about her? this crush is so intense - I don't know when I am going to get out of it - Fell I like I have dug a hole for myself - instead of getting out I am digging even more and more and not trying to get out

[Matchy69]

Hi lordrainyday I can hear the emotional pain in your msgs.It really is tough for you.Letting it out and telling her how you feel could be the relief you need and have an answer one way or the other.It really is a hard decision to make and you do have your wife to think about.You do not want to hurt her.You sound like you have so much bottled up inside.You need to be able to think clearly and how telling her will effect everything.Be kind to yourself work out the pros and cons of the situation.
Take care,
Mark.

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Matchy69

That's completely true I have so many emotions bottled up inside - I really don't want to hurt my wife or the girl from work - I sometimes feel like ending my life - it's just driving me insane - I feel that is the only solution - I am super unhappy and unable to move on - I try my level best to have a good time with my wife - I am unable to do so - I am always thinking about the girl and miss her heaps - I wish I was not in this situation - I am so stressed and frustrated with this situation - everyone near me keeps asking me if I am OK - I just lie to them - Yes but in reality a BIG NO - I need to find the pros and cons of this situation to move on - The only thing which is kinda keeping me sane is going to the Gym and work or else I would be dead by now. - Sometimes i wish i was dead so none of this would have happened - feel like a big LOSER in life.

[Sophie_M]

Hey Lordrainyday8888,

Thanks for participating in the Beyond Blue forums. We're so sorry to hear the stress you are under and the thoughts of suicide you've been having. We can hear that you're finding it difficult to open up to those around you, perhaps you might like to talk through these thoughts and emotions with a counsellor? 

We would recommend that you get in touch with an organisation called Relationships Australia on 1300 364 277. They provide relationship support services for individuals, families and communities and aim to support all people in Australia to achieve positive and respectful relationships. It might be worth finding out what they can offer you.

We would also encourage you to contact the Beyond Blue Support Service anytime on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport. One of the friendly counsellors can offer you some support but also provide you with advice and referrals for seeing a counsellor in a more ongoing way if this is something you feel would be beneficial.

We hope you continue to engage with the forums and let our community support you through this challenging time. 

[Matchy69]

Hi lordrainyday I am sorry for the pain you are in.Sophoe has given you some great advice.Just rember you are not alone and do have people who care about you.
Take care,
Mark

[lordrainyday8888]

Hi Mathy69

Thanks