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Lonely ,just finding it hard to find any friends

Community Member
Hi I am new here, for a very long time have tried to cope in life by icolating myself from people as I have never felt good enough to be considered friend matrial. I am now near fifty and have no real friends whom would want to spend time with me. I consider myself as worthless to others, but so want to change just to find one soul mate in life, don’t we all deserve that, I don’t know how, I am male , but just need some guardian angels to help.. anyone out there ...
21 Replies 21

Hi Mary I so feel for you , as everyone needs a soul mate in life, it’s what makes our soul shine. I guess you have adknowleged the problem, now you just have to take baby steps , and find a few people..I am on that journey now , so stay in contact and maybe here and with others we can find a way forward

That sounds like a plan, ive actually started joining up with some facebook groups with interests the same as me. I don't expect i would meet up with these people but it gives me something to ready and share recipes in groups with people that have the same interests.Not sure if we can pm here but if you want to feel free to send me a message.

Glad that your taking those baby steps mary.. every new soul you find and person you talk to, hopefully will bring you closer to a new world of friendships. I have good days and bad days where sonetimes I get to talk to some one and other days where I am completely alone ..but realizing that a lot of worse of people in the world so grateful for anyone coming into my bubble .. we can’t send personal messages that I know of here as rules are rules but you never know how journeys go

Yes i totally wish i could be like people i see in shopping centres,chatter ,chatter , chatter lol.

MM maybe but then that wouldn’t be you, your unique so do things your way, your pace and whom you feel comfy with..sometimes the best chats are where you have no idea of what’s going on around you xx

Community Member

I once had a group of friends and one I thought was more special but when my daughter had life threatening issues and all I needed was a coffee a kind heart and support NOT a dinner I had noone. I had a relationship that because we were so utterly different it made me feel the loneliest I have ever been. So its important to realise you can have people in your life and be lonely.

I would just like a couple of of like minded single women I could travel with go to see movies etc with . Meetups are supposed to be good so lookup meetups and choose a few that interest you. Dont be disappointed if people are clicky sometime that happens find another group. I got myself a cat and then a dog and love it but be warned this requires a lot of giving !I am totally in love with my pooch and being in nature with him is my daily dose of serotonin.Volunteering in ways u feel good contributing could lead to meeting with likeminded souls. Hopefully u will find some of this useful.

As long as u dont love yourself, a relationship of the soul mate romantic type, will be difficult. U need to explore what made u feel unlovable fully first and try and get to a place of self love. U will be offering someone a full heart then and wont be so vulnerable if the relationship does not work, attract the right people who will not use u and have the self esteem to walk away if the relationship is toxic for u.

l have a lot of that too kidle.

work at home on my own.not many people drop in , mainly because l'm a bit funny about that and don't know many here anyway.

lt can easy go a few days without talking to anyone. l'll usually go down the shops or something , be around some people even if just for a few minutes.

Yknow , as far as friends or people in general go, l find people seem to either wanna crowd you and be in your face or not bother at all, l like causal easy somewhere in between but it's always seemed a hard conbo to find.

Community Member
Thanks , guess my analogy , is my friendships are like swimming against the tide.. I am always struggling to keep my friends interested in me, always have to contact them, as they never contact me, it’s like if I am out of sight , I am out of mind. It’s like most people blossom with good friends , I struggle just to get anyone to listen or talk to me...which puts dark clouds around me making me feel worthless .. if only I could make a soul mate where I was first in thier live rather then third or fourth in everyone I know ..

Community Member

I feel similarly

I am almost always the first to message my friends and I always check up on them but they don’t seem to have much time for me. I excluded myself for a while but I still feel that I deserve some sort of contact or recognition. I feel so alone.

i feel like i am losing all my friends. I am kind of letting it happen because i am tired of reaching out and not getting much in return. I feel like i am always the one keeping my friendships close. I always think about my friends but it appears they never think about me.

It exhausts me even thinking about it. Sometimes it’s easier to be alone because then you don’t have as much to lose.

Community Member

Hi Kidle,

I can relate heavily to your last post, I have the same issue with my friends, unless I make the effort, I rarely hear from them first, it really does hurt and those dark clouds surround us so I do know how you are feeling. I wish I had an answer on how to solve it but I am still trying to work it out myself.

My best,