living alone

[Guest_1584]

Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?

No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.

l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.

It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.

But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.

This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.

But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.

[Guest_1584]

lt's helping me in the way that it's forcing me to get on with my life at least for the moment, instead of being in limbo.lt's giving me a well earned rest from all her stuff to and l hope it's also forcing her to think about all that too, and us. But l'm worried this "just nothing" might do more harm than good .

l;m starting to thing what's a few more mths after all this time, maybe wait until after l go up again now.

[CMF]

Hey rx,

Checking in to see how you are?

Any more thoughts on your trip?

Cmf

[Guest_1584]

Hiya cm , and thanks for checking in on me appreciated.

As for the next trip ahhh, surprise , that one's on hold again with some stuff that's come up atm.

Not much else going on in the us department , just doing life, such as it is. l feel like going north again though God it's been cold.

rx

[Lillylane]

Hi rx

Maybe the universe sent you a message - your car breaking down, and the lady admirer walking past 🙂 That there will always be other possibilities if things don’t work out.

Is your trip on hold because of things that have come up for you or have things come up for gf?

[Guest_1584]

Hiya LL , thanx for dropping in. How have you been doin?

But haaaa ya think , never know and it'd certainly be a welcome reminder right now as we speak and you should just happen to ask actually. The next trip , hmmm. lt's probably time.

Ummmm, l broke it of with her.

Tbh honest , it started as a break but we'd still talk a bit and you know, there's always been some other things. Things to me very very important but we just haven't been together enough lately to just see, feel them out. But among all the other crap , they're still there, even after 3yrs, even long distance and even after talking about them and thinking they're sorted mths earlier a dozen times-out of nowhere boom, they're back , like it never happened.

ldk ,they aren't fixable she doesn't even acknowledge them and l've become pretty convinced lately, as gorgeous as she can be, they're also just another part of her too and character.

Well , last we were talking out they all just came yet again, like nothing had happened , again ! Not a mth ago or 6 or 12 or whenever we'd sorted them last time. lt's just too much on top of everything else and l was pretty convinced by then and after the last time just to ice the cake, again, they aren't going anywhere. l said l'd had enough and broke it of.

Still thinking it all through.

rx

[Lillylane]

Hey rx

It would’ve taken so much thought and inner strength to get to this point.

So I hope it’s ok for me to say as a complete stranger (I’m sure others here would say the same) - I’m proud of you rx.

I agree about parts of a person’s nature that tend to stay the same. And if they don’t acknowledge or see how it affects others, it’s even more likely to just continue on that way.

You’ve done extremely well to pick up on that.

A new chapter for you hey! Stay strong, and keep us in the loop with how you’re doing. It can be difficult when you still miss someone.

Yeah I’m doing OK thank you 🙂
I’m living with my former husband (who is now female). And we are no longer a couple. So I don’t live alone, yet loneliness has really hit me in the last couple of years.

Haven’t worked out what to do next. We have school-aged kids.

Thoughtful conversations like these on BB inspire me to keep going and hopefully find a way forward.

Take care

LL

[Guest_1584]

Hi LL and thanks for the thoughts.

Well , these things have always been there, and they'd normally show this or that about a persons character. But she's pretty hot headed also and tbh,right through l've always just hoped l was wrong and it was just stress and stuff bringing them , or that she would work on them.

As if everything else hasn't been enough though on top of it, these things just haven't changed, matter of fact l think they're worse if anything.

But your situation, what you must've been through and your family, l couldn't imagine. Hope you've got a thread if that helps and people have been there for you with support. Not to mention some real life help also.

rx

[Guest_1584]

l do wish there was some way , of talking it out.

lt's mind boggling to me that even as a grown woman, and an extremely intelligent one, that there just isn't with her. We have done with all these things many times, you think they've gotten somewhere, gottem through, there's an understanding, then boom, nope, sorry. l can do that with myself and my faults, why can't she ?

Some people just have their ideas and even if proof of the opposite is in front of their very own eyes, those ideas are just cemented in and nothing, nothing, changes them. l've seen and been around these traits in people a few times through my life and know how it all goes very well, it's a life of shear frustration basically bc nothing convinces them to just see, what they flat out just refuse not to. And so the very things that any of it is all about, never change, they just keep reappearing , as if nothing happened, they just keep doing them.

lt's so bizarre.

[CMF]

Hi rx,

My ex husband was like that. Never admitted fault, never saw when his actions were wrong. He could argue he was right till he was blue in the face, even if he was clearly wrong. He'd just shut you down, end of conversation. It was bewildering.

[Guest_1584]

Hi cm and thanks for that.

And thanks for knowing what l'm talking about and having known somebody serious in your life too, with the same. Sometimes they can just make you think your going a bit ga ga as you'd know.

rx