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living alone
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Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?
No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.
l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.
It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.
But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.
This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.
But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.
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Hummm, thinkin thinkin, , of course.
Did a stoopid thing and read some of our old messages, l just stumbled over them, long forgotten, they're still on my pc.
Sooo much love all through them, especially from her , and plans and thoughts , things now are hard to believe. l think it's the stress of being apart and our worries in that department now, on top of this damn course she's been doing, it's very very heavy stuff , and she's been as crook as too and worried sick about falling behind.
Things she was coming out with were just ridiculous, and old ground from yrs ago, or stuff we'd just discussed only wks ago, She does have a habit of rehashing like it never happened , but the last few wks have just been ridiculous.
Maybe l should've allowed though with the state she was in. l dunno why to she's letiing this damn course get on top of her the way she is though, it's only part of what she's doing but it's not even that important in the big scheme of things. lt is very very intense though, nonetheless.
rx
l dunno.
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l've had to be patient and allow though so much of all that courts stuff though for so damn long , and support , and listen , and spend hrs on the phone many many times to trying to get her for this or that with it and with different lawyers,
That was suppose to be the end of it and we made it. She won her cases and from here it was suppose to be back onto our life now though. Yet now she's dumped herself straight into all this creer stuff, and then there's the where we'd live thing, God ldk.
l'm obviously crazy.
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Sounds like she changed the goal posts on you.
I wonder...does she feel so confident you'll just wait around that she does what she wants without really thinking about your feelings?
Sometimes I think M is like that, hence why he let's things slide despite how upset I get.
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She admits she's really messed up dumping herself straight into this career stuff. She didn't even really need to at that.
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Yeah , l know , same with m.
But ahh, there has been times for sure l've thought l've needed to be a bit less waiting in the wind, and accommodating , for sure . l'm hoping right now some of that will be sinking in her end actually.
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And actually, that's why this break and me getting on with life.
l dunno what sort of effect it'll have on her though bc any coming to her senses thing comes back to that seeing what she wants to see stuff. l think the loneliness of me not around though might just straighten out some of that eyesight well, that's one of the hopes anyway.
rx
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Well it should do something. She's thrown herself into new things & keeping busy while you just sit and wait.
Hope she sees the light. Can she postpone or defer this career stuff?
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lt's too much to go into like here but straight out of her courts thing and visa conditions, she was backed into a corner day one, that's why it all started.Most people have no idea what Aus immigration put people through.
She could dump it if she's living with me, but in this case, and apart all this time, what if we didn't work out, that'd leave her in an even worse situation, couldn't do that to her. l'd rather she works this through now .
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l mean say in your sitch , sis moved out you and m dropped everything and moved in together tomorrow right, you couldn't be sure it'd work out. He might drive you crazy living with him 24/7, you don't really know bc you haven't had much real time together for any period.
So see, we haven't either for 18mths now, l can't guarantee it'd all work out, it's been so long.
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Yep. Understand completely. This is why the sis thing is so annoying cos I don't really know what it looks like if it's just he & I. We might be bored, we might fight, could be great, we might spend more time together, find common interests etc. She is wasting our NOW time. I don't wanna find out after 5 or 6 years that we really aren't suited or maybe we are? I don't know on a daily basis who he really is without her.
You are doing the right things as far as maybe being a real couple one day. How long are you prepared to wait to find out?
Take my hat off to you