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living alone
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Wondering do you live alone if you don't mind me asking , and how long for , how do you find it ?
No need for any details if your not comfortable or anything like that, not prying just wondering about it all.
l've been living alone on off mostly 5yrs now since splitting with ex w. My daughter use to stay a lot but not much these days, 16, bf and friends over in her town, 20mins away . Also had a friend staying over a lot for awhile or me her place, separate rooms just friends. Then met my gf, together nearly two but 70% long distance,talking 24 7 non the mess but still mostly living alone. That ahsn't worked out and, still living alone.
It's the first time really since late teens and what a time of life for it to come along. l'm just wondering? l'm afraid l just can't get use to it or like it . Although times it's good also , like coming home tired, kick back for the night do your thing, watch what you want or sleep all day or listen to whatever you please as loud as you want day or night, no one else to worry about or please. It can be nice when the wk end rolls round too in ways , same reasons.
But , l still have a lot of trouble with it , don't think l'll ever get use to it. Even though there were plenty of times married would've given anything for this kinda freedom sometimes.
This house is pretty big , to me too big for one, one and a bit if my d stays. Not really into friends hangin round too often , assuming l had a few anyways, new town. But l think a smaller house would help , dunno how some people especially rich people live in monster mansions alone. l've even thought of sharing , got a spare room, it'd help the finances too. But tbh , getting a bit past that with a stranger and it'd cramp my style a bit and spoil the things l do like about this new life alone right now and having all this space to myself.
But over all , l'm really feeling the loneliness. Just don't know what to do about it though, how to deal with it . l feel like l'll get sorta lost in my own non existent world if l'm not careful. l do get out and about quite a bit actually but it's usually alone too. l've always enjoyed alone time even as a kid but l seem to have lost that these days and l find it's really taking it's toll on spirits and like life is passing by.
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Yeah see that's it , and in your sitch really you don't even know because of her around, l could just imagine the frustration.
l can't commit now without some real time first so l can't ask her to dump it all and get on a plane like this. But anyway, l'm not waiting it out we're still on that break,basically split actually and l'm leaving it for now. We might see in 6 mths, not sure right now.
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On the gf front , damned if l know , wondering what that means lately. We don't seem to wanna stick to our breaks very long but at the same time if we don't that limbo and where to feeling just thuds on home again. l'm at a loss as to just what the right thing to do is from here.
We both agree we'd love to just spend a mth or two together up there and just see where we're at first of all . She says she's changed a lot , not feelings , just in life and ways . l know l've been seeing them and wondered myself to. l also feel like l have to and l notice things as far as we go from my point of view as well. But then God almighty we've been living apart in two different sitting and on texting and calls 17mths now, of course things are starting to bite for us both.
Anyway , atm , we're thinking l'll go up later in the yr for a longer stay - accommodation depending wise is the main thing. l have to go back to work for a few mths first now, too much spending and l haven't worked since last yr, and she'll have her stuff on to, ;t's crept back in to us talking a fair bit again lately , whata surprise l know. God knows. TBH , if we're still going to be together l'd rather we just bide our time , the only trouble is l don't know if we are atm
We both agree that if we are still us when l go up , she'll finish her stuff and come back down to mine at least for awhile and we'll take it from there.. The whole Sydney thing is just ridiculous anyway , with the market and rent shortages these days .
rx
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Sounds like you both want to be together.
Maybe bite the bullet, spend a couple of months together & really see where you're at. Be honest about you both really feel.
Cmf
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Thanks for that cm.
And yeah , we do of course. We're a bit nervous about it though tbh it's just been living on messaging and calls so long now, starts to feel surreal. l'm not sure right now when l'd be able to manage it though now that's one problem, time wise , depends how work goes and on her stuff to. What if it's 6mths away , again more limbo and surreal .
l dunno. l know the original idea of just having a break until then would be the wisest move butttt, we're bloody hopeless.
rx
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It's so tricky for you.
I think it's also sweet that you 'breaks' never work as you start talking again.
If only everything blocking you could disappear and give you the chance to see...
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Haaa, it's probably a sign them never lasting very long. But yeah it'll be a few mths at least, l'll have to see how work pans out.
Funny you saying sometimes you think you two might be better staying on your one or two days a wk. She says well if we can't be together all the time we'll just be together apart even some married people live like that. Well actually my brother and his gf have been 3hrs apart 22yrs they see ea other every few mths at his or hers. Sydneys a lot further though and l realized last trip bugger this l'm only doing one more trip that's it, l didn't enjoy it the way l though l would. lt would tie us over until her craps done though l suppose.
ldk, this is ridiculous how did l get myself into this bs. D loves gf but says daddd, you've gotta be able to be together, imagine having someone just local , weird, could hardly imahine that these days.
rx
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Sort of a little bit happening on the us situation but at the same time nothing at this minute much really, which ironically is what the cards have said too.
One interesting thing, my brother's sort of a crash test dummy atm. The one where they've lived 20yrs 3hrs apart. She bought a new unit down in Melb then had some health stuff so his been staying down at hers 4mths now. The longest they've spent in one building together in probably 12yrs. He spins back up here every few wks to check his place and then back to hers. Although we all grew up in Melb he's never liked being down there long these days and then they usually fight to if they're together too long. The distance and time apart and now together thing all kind of echo's our situation a little except they're much closer butttt, after 22yrs they're actually doing pretty good. Could well be an us and me up Sydney for awhile later on , hmmm. Don't know what they'll do later when her health stuff is all done or whether he'll come back up here but l've got a feeling he might end up moving back down, gonna be interesting.
Done the cards through the wk been awhile they're still talking love but in the distance right now ironically. Maybe it's us and we figure this crap out, don't know. Anyway after seeing how things are working out for my brother and their situation it has reinspired me somewhat with our very similar situation. Their breaks never worked out either funnily enough , hence their 22yrs.
l have come up with very cheap accommodation alternative if l do end up staying up there for awhile later in the yr. It'll still be private and comfortable but l could stay a few mths very cheaply as compared to 1000s. Haven't ran in by gf yet though but l'll see what she thinks.
At any rate , still considering all and tossing things around. rx
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Hi rx
Wow, I love how your brother has made that work. Haha I might be doing that but M & I live 10 mins apart.
It is inspiring & I'm glad you're inspired. If 2 people really want to be together they'll find a way.
Hope you continue to be inspired & work through things.
Cmf
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Hi cm.
Yeah it's pretty amazing to see tbh , although l'm only seeing whatever l think l'm seeing from the outside bc we haven't has a good yarn in mths since before he went down, l might be wrong. l'm looking forward to catching up again though although he's very cagey this one and never usually says much but it is seeming like things are going really well from the few things he has said so far.
On another note l ran my idea past gf the other day and she loved it so we might have some progress. lt'd mean l'd be able to stay up there for just awhile, a mth , few mths maybe if l could handle it- not her just it. Find our feet again first of all with some time and no pressure bc it won't cost much, and just see where we're at again after all this time.
rx
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