Hi, welcome
Well, girls are different than boys and some boys have a very hard time growing up. Our emotions are immature to about 30yo in many cases. Thats why your girls are content with you.
As a male that was also slow maturing I can comment categorically a number of experiences at that age about my mothers influence -
- That I could not change overnight to live up to expectations for my age
- I couldnt hold down a job due to being erratic
- I had a mental illness I didnt discover until 46yo
- That I did need support but not the kind my mum gave me
- My mum felt never good enough but so did I
- As my sibling was a girl and always did everything right I felt worse
Support is a fine line. Support in its best form is listening intently, absorbing his story, walking in his shoes and occasionally a few wise suggestions - in the form of questions.
Eg he tells you he resigned from work
You- "ok, how are you feeling "?
He tells you how bad he feels for a few minutes. He tells you he yelled at a female employee
"So, how do you feel about that incident now"?
This goes on for a while. Towards the end of the conversation. ..
"well, it's over now. We all learn from our experiences. What kind of work will you look for now? A change maybe?"
Instead of that my mother would say "oh Tony, that was a good job. Why cant you just settle down like other boys"
Sit back, be supportive with few comments, mostly questions. Use examples eg "your uncle had trouble at work but as he got older he held down jobs easier".
This is the ultimate form of understanding. In its physical form its as good as a hand on his shoulder saying "its ok, I love you"
TonyWK
