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I have developed strong feelings for one of my best friends

Community Member

Hi all I need some advice on how to proceed in my situation. A year ago I came across this female on an meeting people app called Meet Me. She and I were both living in Sydney. She was cool and fun to talk to. She then got back together with the father of her kids and they moved out into the country. She and I were still speaking but it was the getting to know you phase of the friendship. We then lost communication for a couple of months I don't know what the reason was as we didn't have a fight just lost contact with each other. She then broke it off with her husband seperated but not divorced. And we got even closer...talked every day. Have similar personalities and common interests and we don't hold back at all in our conversations. She once said she had considered dating me but decided against it because didn't want to ruin the friendship. She's been seperated for 4 or so months now and there were two guys that she was speaking to at different times that ultimately didn't work out. I was relieved but not aware of any interest I had in her. Recently within the last month and a half she has been chatting to a man she really likes and he really likes her and I have been getting so jealous everytime she mentions him. She is one hell of an incredible female and her happiness means alot to me but because I like her a freaking lot I don't want him to be the one to make her happy.. I want it to be me that does that.

I just feel like how this is going to end up is she'll want to focus her time and energy on him if all goes well. I'll try to keep talking and being close to her as we have always been and its going to result in this dude giving her an ultimatum...that she either choose him to keep dating or me to keep being a close friend with and in that scenario I'll be the one who loses her not him

4 Replies 4

Community Member
Is this the same girl you were talking about in your other thread?

No she isn't. The feelings for my best friend have kind of surprised me. I didn't even know I had them until just recently

It sounds like you're setting yourself up for a similar scenario

Yeah it's possible. But that's why I am here...the situation is different this time. I need to stop having feelings for her but thats the thing about feelings...they aren't easy to change