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I am concerned about someone a care about

Community Member
I think that the person I have been romantically attracted to for four years is too close with his ex-wife. They claim to be friends, but she is always at his house, for whatever reason. They have one child together, and I learned through Facebook that he apparently doesn't bother to see her, yet on the same token she's at his house every fortnight. So I don't know? I am concerned that they are getting back together. I feel bad about myself because I cant't compare to her, although this man has told me that "he has always liked me but has kept it from me." Yet action wise he cares more about his ex than he does about me. I hate myself. I wish things were different.
9 Replies 9

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hi Goldilocks

Its okay to have the feelings you do...thats okay....Just from what you have posted goldilocks, you are hurting 😞

Can I ask if you have had a chance to communicate to your friend about your feelings? I guess its up to him if he wants to try to get back with his ex. Using facebook as a reference may cause you emotional pain at this time

Please dont hate yourself for feeling the way you do. Does your friend answer your calls/texts at all?


Thank You for your comment. Unfortunately this man has a restraining order against me, so I can’t talk to him.

No worries goldilocks

The forums are a safe and non judgemental place for you to post

I am sorry for the pain and anguish you are going through...It would be awful for you

Not that its important....how long was he separated from his ex?

Your well being is paramount....all other considerations are secondary (easy for me to say)


Hi Paul,

I am unsure of how long he has been separated from his ex? I do not know him well enough to determine this. He leads a very private life, after acting "cocky" and "proud" about being thin and cheating on his ex-wife with multiple women on multiple occasions. I don't understand why she accepts him back into his life as a "friend" for the sake of their daughter, when the pair of them clearly have feelings for one another. They are suddenly spending SO much time together since recently, and I would like to know why. This bothers me significantly, as I I still have feelings for this man. He wants the restraining order to remain in place. I don't. Yes, while I still may like him, what if it is ten years down the track and I have developed my own life, is he still going to want the restraining order put against me?

Good afternoon goldilocks.

You must feel very frustrated and confused about this deal.

I would like to ask, if you don't mind, have you two been together romantically or may this simply be an infatuation/ mad crush on someone that you have built up feelings for?


Hi Jsua,

Thank You for asking. He was only someone I was infatuated with. I still am infatuated by him.


Thanks for sharing. If you don't me asking, let's say for a moment that this was a unhealthy infatuation - meaning that this would not benefit you in anyway, how do you think that you could overcome this feeling?

Hi Jsua,

Some time has passed since we have last spoken and at this point I am trying my best to move on from him. I spend all my time sleeping, and this, along with having warm baths at night time, are my top two distraction techniques.

If you have any that you would like to suggest, feel free the whack them down below πŸ™‚

Loving the idea of the warm bath at night. I'd go the distance by adding some candles, maybe some music and a glass of wine. Good to hear from you, stay well.