HI Dory
You know what I have found out recently. A lot of adults struggle to make friends. It is one of those topics that people don't want to talk about. My housemate and my best friend are in the same boat. We are not originally from Brisbane so it's not like we have many highschool friends up here.
I find one thing that helps you make friends is to open up to new things. When I moved up to QLD I started going to the gym regularly. I kept bumping into this girl at the gym, and we started talking. We then did a workout together. We are now really good friends. I also wanted to start doing triatholons. One of my uni friends introduced me to one of her tri friends she met online. We are now friends to. I also joined a local FB group on fitness and we sometimes have group bike rides. There are also some apps that can help make friends including hey vina.
I find that my anxiety and depression makes me feel poorly about myself. Some days I can only think of the negative traits and why anyone would want to be friends with me. I have to try put them asside when I want to go out and be social. I try think of all my good traits like I am kind, loyal, I am a good listener, funny and my interests are xxx and they have the same interests.
So my take home message is
- use positive talk with yourself. Remind yourself about all your good traits. Share these with your new friends. (yes you can tell them the other stuff, but I like to only tell it to close friends as I don't want them to be defining points about me)
- open yourself up to new opportunities. Take up a new sport, going a club (e.g. rotary).
Hope some of these helped. Hey helped me
MP
