Help with relationship issue

[Kingsley]

I would appreciate an unbiased opinion on an issue that has caused a rift in my relationship.It may seem trivial but it has caused a major problem between myself and my partner.

She has started a new job that is a long distance from me.I loaned her some money to ensure that she could buy a reasonable vehicle to get there safely.She has loaned money before and has paid it back in full so I felt no worries about it.She told me that she was already in debt and it would take a while before she could pay it back.

I waited until she had settled into her new job and then sent her a text saying "Are you planning on paying off your vehicle loan?"[exact words]

This made her extremely upset and caused her say that I was using the loan against her and that she should not have borrowed the money.

I took her words seriously and felt that she was actually saying that I was abusing her in some way which of course upset me very much.

I sent the text because I thought it was a good idea to be clear on the details of the loan to avoid any problems later on.

Do you think that she was right in being upset?

[useraip]

Hey Kingsley, 

From what I have read, I do understand how she may have taken your message the wrong way, as it was maybe an unexpected moment for her to receive the message. She may have felt confronted by the message, as maybe she read your tone as angry. I personally think this can be a problem with texting, as what you meant by your message, and what she inferred from your message may be two very different things. This also goes the other way, in that she may not have meant to make you feel like she was saying you were abusing her in some way. I do not know the entire situation, or your relationship, but I would say you both have the right to be upset. Having someone owe you money is never the greatest feeling, but also owing someone money isn't either. I think it could help if you apologise for making her feel the way she does, but also explain why you are hurt by what she has said to you and hopefully she can offer you an apology as well. Life is short, and issues can be resolved. Just remember you are a team, and you can work through this together. 

[Kingsley]

Thanks for your considered reply.