Going through a breakup after 7 years
It is good to hear from you again, welcome back. I'm only sorry it is in such heart-breaking circumstances.
If I remember correctly your relationship has had difficulties, and while you were prepared to believe a lot of the problems stemmed from your own lack of confidence and jealousies, plus too much time alone wihtout full time work, I did not think then you were totally correct.
He worked away and you were, I thought, justifiably upset with his social media activities with others, including other females.
Talking together did not seem to resolve the issue, only arguments always along those same lines
Now he has left and spoke of the totally unrealistic idea that a friendship could continue " after all this middle stuff is sorted out". This sounds to me like a sop to his own conscience, and most unlikely to happen - your faith in him has been totally broken.
At a time like this there is not only an overwhelming grief and sense of loss, but also unfortunately a tendency to look to yourself and feel that in some way you were the cause due to some form of inadequacy. While nobody is perfect I'd strongly suspect it is not just you.
Can I suggest that firstly you seek support, if you can find a member of your family or a friend to share this burden with you that will be all to the good. Trying to cope in isolation is extra hard and allows inappropriate self-doubt to grow.
Secondly I'd mention talking with those that have a lot of experience with this situation
They have ideas, tools and on-line councilors if you wish. Perhaps have look at their website and see what you think.
All though your previous conversations you kept feeling you may have been suffering from some form of anxiety. It would be good to get that matter settled - forgive me if you have already done so.
To be diagnosed by a professional rather than just your own feelings can lead, if needed, to medical support which, as I know, can be very effective.
The other thing I would like to know, if you do not mind, is if you are still in part-time work? As you pointed out this does not keep you busy enough to occupy your mind, leaving you to dwell on things.
I do hope you do get some support and get to see the relationship with perspective.
Please say how you are going
I am very sorry to hear you are going through this right now. I am new to this forum so not sure what advice to give. It is a lot for you to take in and process and I expect you are feeling a range of difficult emotions. Please know that you are not alone and there are many people here who will listen and talk to you and offer support to you. I wonder if now might be the time to reach out to your family as well if that is possible for you to do?
Hello Guest221, from what you have told us it seems as though as he is away for work, other untoward situations may have happened, which doesn't help you in maintaining a relationship.
Love can only go both ways, one way can't hold two people together no matter how much you love them, because what this means is that what you do creates joy and happiness and encourages the other person to counteract some pleasure you desire and when this doesn't happen, then you need to make a decision on whether or not you want to remain together, I'm really sorry this has happened to you.
We are here for you and want to help you through this, so please take care.
Thankyou for your reply Geoff
it is very difficult to love someone so much more then they love you, i am still coming to terms with it all as it really feels like everything has been swept from under me. The future I had pictured for the last 8 years is now gone and I am left without my best friend. I feel as though we are now strangers and we hardly talk but I know it’s for the best and it wasn’t easy for him to end it