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Financial abuse?

Community Member

Dating for less than one month he told me "you don't need any money, you should be dependant on me" and demanded that we have a joint bank account. I refused.

Though he couldn't afford to purchase a coffee one day and had to pull a second or third credit card to fund that while constantly relaying how I was weak or pathetic economically. I warned him that quitting my job would hurt me more mentally. He was jealous of my colleagues and wanted me to leave and would brag about his high wage and belittle me about being on support.
He a truck driver and demanded I attend with him while neglecting my own job.
When I refused he got angry and started stalking my co-workers he then said that if I went to work the next day he would tell my boss my problems with my job and get me in a pickle.
I quit that job in avoidance of further potential issues. Tried to leave him many times.
From there he went on to claim he was chivalrous and will pay for everything while also abusing anyone who accepted it later on while hiding his own spending.
He wouldn't buy me what I wanted, just what he wanted me to have and often force it like expensive spa's I didn't want to go to and I knew he couldn't afford. 
 I left while pregnant. Ive paid for everything while he refused to commit to official child support for over a year and paid nothing. I forced it and he deliberately over paid it to my account so that he could use it later to hold me accountable, this is what he does.
Recently he spent $6000 on solar panels when he doesn't even own a house that he was  to transfer to me for care of our son (his idea) while also shouting at me its not for our son? Then he spent it on himself.

2 Replies 2

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi, welcome


It's sad you are in this situation. What can we do for you?



Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi 11migal11,

Your ex(?)-partner’s assertion that you don’t need your own money and should be financially dependent on him is a HUGE red flag! Particularly when you consider that you have been dating for less than 1 month!! Good on you for refusing the joint bank account and the pressure to quit your job. Anyone who pressures you to quit your job against your will does not have your best interests at heart, they only wish to control you. 
I read it that he is now your ex-partner is that correct? If so, you have dodged a huge bullet with this man as he sounds extremely controlling. You will of course have the added complication that you will need to co-parent with him until your child turns 18 and I imagine this will present quite a few problems (he will still see you as his property, he will withhold finances, anything he does for you will be thrown back in your face etc) but I am sure you are already experiencing this. Do you have a good support network around you?