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Don't know what to do

Community Member
Hi I am a 34 year old female and I just feel so helpless at the moment I was in a relationship with a man for 15 years and we had 3 beautiful kids together and now the relationship is over I just don't know how to go on my kids are with his family because I just sunk into depression 
4 Replies 4

Community Member

Hi there.  Qld1981.  Don't despair.  What happened that your relationship finished?  I realize how painful it is, but till I know a bit more, I can't help you.  It must be dreadful not even having your kids with you.  You obviously feel as though you're in a 'black hole'.  Have you been to see a Dr to get some anti depressants?  If you have, and you're taking meds, they will take a while to kick in.  If you've been on them for a while with no improvement, I suggest you go back to your Dr for a review.  Sometimes the Dr prescribes meds based on what the patient tells him, if the meds are wrong (through no-one's fault), the patient then has to return to the Dr for further treatment.  It's extremely hard when the last thing you even want to do is get out of bed.  Bed is so comforting.  Perhaps you could get a home visit, then you don't have to go to the Dr, he/she comes to you.  Do you have family that you can call on?  You really need someone that can be with you through your darkest times, usually late night/early morning hours.  For some reason depression seems worse during the nights.  Maybe the Dr could put you in touch with a group therapy where you would mix with other like-minded people.  Try writing down when you're at your lowest so that you could tell the Dr how you're feeling and that will also help Dr help you.  There is light at the end of the tunnel. 

If you're really at risk, BB has a 24/7 phone line with trained counsellors ready to listen and help.  You are never alone, we are here for you.  Reach out if necessary.

We love you and want to help.

Community Member

Hi Qld1981,

Aw no! I am so very sorry to hear about your relationship that is awful to hear. Do you see your kids at all ? I am sure that they would want to be able to see there mum and spend time with her.. are you and your ex husband see friends ? Breaking up from a long relationship and especially when you had kids is always a hard thing to get over.. it wont be easy, but you will get there.

Don't let your depression control your life and don't let the depression stop you from being a mum and spending time with your kids. Have you thought about speaking to someone about all of this ? Whether it is a professional Psychologist/Psychiatrist or even your GP all these people including us are here to help you in your time of need we all care and want to see you happy. I think it would be a good idea to speak with your GP and get their opinion on it all and they can help make referrals.

Please remember that your life is important and so many people care about you and need you including your kids. There is plenty of help out there, and alot of people want to help. If you need support numbers or organizations name let us know. As Pipsy said, we have a 24/7 helpline don't ever hesitate. 

We care about you!! Stay Strong and keep us updated.

- Lori 🙂

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
dear Qld, I'm sorry to hear this news as it appears that your 15 year relationship has ended and I am only presuming here

because depression had become a barrier between the both of you, so if I am incorrect I'm sorry.
Does your partner feel worried that you maybe at risk of hurting yourself and that's why he has asked his parents to take
care of your 3 children, and if this is the case then it creates 3 problems for you;

-1. your partner has left;

-2. your children aren't with you, and

-3. you have depression,

so each and everyone of these is causing you grief, and I'm not sure whether you have seen your doctor and then been
referred onto a psychologist, so please I hope that ypou can get back to us a.s.a.p. Geoff. x

Community Member

Hi Qld 1981,

I agree with others who have posted here, you do need to see your Dr and try to get asw much help as you can right now. As also mentioned, there is a 24 hour number here at Beyond Blue you can call. There are other people who can help as well, like Life Line.

If you start to become so depressed that you really don't know what to do with yourself, then call a family member, a friend or even ring 000 and ask for an ambulance. Reach out to someone.

It sounds like life is really tough for you right now, make sure you try to look after yourself as best you can. Try to eat well and drink plenty of water. If at all possible get out for a walk, even if it is just a short one. Exercise of some sort will help you in so many ways.

Remember there is always some who can talk to you. Write down some numbers for assistance and keep those numbers handy. You don't have to go through this alone. Seek as much help as you can.

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