Relationship and family issues

My ex is getting cold feet keeps contacting me drunk

replies: 8

So my ex girlfriend who I am still friends with is getting married in a week. A few days ago I start getting these late night text saying she misses me misses us etc etc. I knew right away it was the alcohol talking. Now the texts are coming in when ... View more

So my ex girlfriend who I am still friends with is getting married in a week. A few days ago I start getting these late night text saying she misses me misses us etc etc. I knew right away it was the alcohol talking. Now the texts are coming in when she is sober which really is messing with me because deep down somewhere I know I still love her but I also believe that this is just what happeneds when you get cold feet and I don't want to be that guy who broke up a wedding because my ex is having a moment of emotional weakness! I've asked her nicely to stop contacting me before she says something we will both regret! I've considered changing numbers etc but I'm hoping it will stop before then so maybe it will be a waste of time! Is that a gamble I shouldn't take? Should I just go ahead and get a new number

Putting my "face" on again...

replies: 1

Hi All, This is my first time posting on BB and would like to start by saying thank you to all the other brave people who have posted and have given me the confidence to do so. I have always had some form of anxiety even as a small child. This did no... View more

Hi All, This is my first time posting on BB and would like to start by saying thank you to all the other brave people who have posted and have given me the confidence to do so. I have always had some form of anxiety even as a small child. This did not effect me too much until the past few years. The switch was flipped when my Dad pasted away after a long battle with Hep C, my brother in law came out and left my sister, my work circumstances changed, which left me feeling isolated and I moved out into a place by myself creating more isolation and financial difficulties. During the past few months I have had to take leave without pay and move home with my Mum, whom I love dearly, but am having difficulties living with her. I have finally revealed my "true self" the one that is not always bright and bubbly and happy with what is happening but with this has come major issues. My sister has basically stopped talking to me about anything but surface comments and my Mum has become my "fixer" and has been forcing changes and pushing me into situations to the point of actually triggering a major panic attack in a social situation. I thought that letting my guard down and letting everyone in would make it easier for me but all it has done is withdraw more form my family and put my "happy face" back on creating MASSIVE anxiety to the point that I can now feel my breathing is shallow and my mind is racing. I don't know what to do anymore as I have lived the past 20 years putting on my "happy face" so that everyone around me can feel better but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up. Will I always have to play "happy me"? Thanks for reading.

Hi, my name is Pipsy and I am nearly 64. I've been married nearly 25 years and I'm so fed-up and down in the dumps. Can anyone help? please.

replies: 118

I was abused my by own family as a child and now I feel as though it's starting again. My husband knows about my past but says I have to 'rise above it', easy for him. His parents have been very nasty to me and I feel everytime he visits them (often)... View more

I was abused my by own family as a child and now I feel as though it's starting again. My husband knows about my past but says I have to 'rise above it', easy for him. His parents have been very nasty to me and I feel everytime he visits them (often), he's rewarding them for hurting me. I've tried to explain this to him, but he 'switches' off. What can I do to overcome this 'betrayal' feeling?

Sorry for all my posting. I think I'm going to have to try harder and dig deep for acceptance.

replies: 12

Hi to you lovely people on the forum, I feel the need to apologise for my posting. After years of keeping a lid on it and just ploughing forward and not sharing I've reached out here for all the 'add ons'. One of the things I've struggled with is tha... View more

Hi to you lovely people on the forum, I feel the need to apologise for my posting. After years of keeping a lid on it and just ploughing forward and not sharing I've reached out here for all the 'add ons'. One of the things I've struggled with is that it comes from a regret I have, not sharing with my own mother when she was here with us. I lost mum when the children were little, my son had just turned 5 and my little girl was almost 2. I was at a vulnerable time I guess 4 years after first receiving my diagnosis after the large storm. My mother was so ill with life threatening secondary cancer and I wanted her to enjoy the children. I suspect when she came over with food and helped with my washing etc that she might of known something was wrong although I was pretty good at hiding. She knew I couldnt leave the house apart from medical visits for my child. When she asked how things were I talked loudly and urgently and she did enquire if I was having racing thoughts but I said no. I regret not telling her my state of being later. I regret not being able to share the details with her but do think to this day her instincts might of known and she was keeping an eye on me. My sibling has the same diagnosis and she was aware of that. His condition is much worse than mine, my mother had felt immense guilt at his condition and I never wanted to burden her with the knowledge of mine once diagnosed. All I ever wanted her to see was me coping, so I hid my condition and suffered inside. When mum passed my husband thought I'd go backwards in terms of my coping with mental illness but it didnt. In short, she passed not knowing. It would of been very easy to disclose now that I'm doing better but at the time with her in the middle of oncologist appointments and what she was facing absolutely no. I protected her from it but I live today knowing that I believe perhaps she might of known. The thing is we can cover up, its not always obvious. I would lie to her when she asked how much sleep I was getting etc, I believed if the house was impeccable and everything in order no one would know. People can suffer dramatically inside but from the outside it can appear normal. She did enquire though why I wore the same tracksuit for days on end but insisted that my little boy had a new suit after each feed. So, I live with regret in not sharing, another 'add on'. All I can do now is know that I did my best. Thank you for listening to my inner thoughts.

Illness & failing relationship

replies: 4

I moved interstate 2 years ago, away from family & friends, to be with my long distance partner. Over the past 6 months or so I've been getting very unwell, and as of the last 3 months my doctors think I have chronic fatigue syndrome, on top of major... View more

I moved interstate 2 years ago, away from family & friends, to be with my long distance partner. Over the past 6 months or so I've been getting very unwell, and as of the last 3 months my doctors think I have chronic fatigue syndrome, on top of major depression/anxiety. I've not been handling this well - I physically can't work, I sleep most of the day, I'm tired and frustrated almost all the time. I have near constant headaches, brain fog, hypersensitivity to sound, joint aches etc etc. I feel like everything that makes me 'me' has been taken away by this illness. I don't recognise myself in the mirror. I'm at a very low point in my life, I've never felt so helpless or hated life as much as I do now. My partner has been taking this all very hard, he works a stressful job (emergency services), he's dealing with me as a financial burden because I have no money and no job (I'm attempting to get Centrelink but it's a long painful process), and he's been dealing with me as I've been dealing with the illness. He initially started out super supportive but as times gone on, we are fighting a lot, he feels like I'm a massive burden to be around, he looks forward to going to work because it gives him space to breathe away from me. He feels that I'm not a girlfriend any more, that it's all too hard on him. I've told him how much I'm not coping in myself, that whilst I'm trying to get a handle on this illness it's going to take a lot out of me and therefore I'm not going to have as much energy for him. The illness itself sucks the energy right from me - some days I can't get out of bed to shower - so it's extremely difficult for me to do things like go out of the house to do things together, to keep up intimacy. I understand that I'm not an amazing person to be around, but it's like he expects more of me then I can give right now. I feel like he can't see past my illness anymore. He sees someone who is a burden that he has to care for, rather than someone who is still his companion but just struggling. He's asked for some space to think things over and so I've moved temporarily back interstate to my parents place to give him space. But now I'm in limbo. I'm stuck waiting to see if he feels like he can keep going with us or throw everything away because I'm too much to handle when I'm sick. I don't know what to do, and I really don't want us to end. I don't know if I'll handle it right now.

new love and lost

replies: 2

hi everyone, i met a man who i study with after many years of trust issues and coming from an abusive background i finally opened my heart and let someone in.. fell hard for him he is amazing but unfortunately things turned bad for him and now we can... View more

hi everyone, i met a man who i study with after many years of trust issues and coming from an abusive background i finally opened my heart and let someone in.. fell hard for him he is amazing but unfortunately things turned bad for him and now we can't be together.. he is currently looking after a very close female friend who tried to end her but she is okay tho. he wants us to be on hold till he can help her which is actually my idea but it hurts soo much.. triggered a lot of ptsd. after talking with him today it sounds like we won't be able to be together. i understand that but it hurts so much.. i want him to do the right thing and he is but i feel like u sacrificed my happiness for someone eles's and it hurts like hell. i miss him i miss talking with him i miss his arms around me.. we haven't had any intimate moment yet but the cuddles and talks were magical. i just never thought i could love again and now even before it started it's lost. i feel soo broken after years of being single i finally met some i really like and then something happens and i'm in pain again. i am praying she feels better soon so we can hang out again i miss him.

Just seperated from my husband. Struggling to move forward

replies: 13

My husband left me 4 weeks ago. I done nothing but love and care for him but he has decided he wants a single life and hang with his mates ect we have a 3 yr old son. Now he wants to spent every weekend here with us like we are happily married but th... View more

My husband left me 4 weeks ago. I done nothing but love and care for him but he has decided he wants a single life and hang with his mates ect we have a 3 yr old son. Now he wants to spent every weekend here with us like we are happily married but then leaves Sunday and acts single all week I don't know how to feel or think anymore I've done it for 2 weekends for our sons sake but it's killing me inside any advice would be great

Self awareness just not enough.

replies: 6

There's two parts to my being, the illness itself and then the attachments. Sometimes I think the thoughts I have constantly thinking of how my illness impacts those in my family are nothing but depleting and get in the way of forming even better cop... View more

There's two parts to my being, the illness itself and then the attachments. Sometimes I think the thoughts I have constantly thinking of how my illness impacts those in my family are nothing but depleting and get in the way of forming even better coping skills. I know this, but unfortunately I can't rid my mind of those extras because I'm a mum, a wife and I care about my family like anyone else would. I've written down many a time what I think this extra anguish achieves and each time I come up with nothing. My mind still feels immense guilt, shame and discomfort with the imperfections my life has. I can't stand the knowledge I have of some of this journey. I can't accept the times when depression robbed my inner self, keeping me flat and unable to 'feel'. When it dissolved again my feeling came back and I relished it. You see, I know it's not my fault but the most shameful of symptoms from the past still haunt me. I wonder, will I ever tell my children one day of the journey? right now they don't know what Mum has fully endured and thats ok, we've chosen to keep caring for the children and keeping my mental health story beneath. I suspect still they have seen some symptoms over time but I'm good at masking too. When my head gets stuck on blaming myself I try to write down everything I've achieved, everything thats a move toward better and try to dwell on it. Unfortunately it doesnt last too long, I think my mind will always find it hard to be kind to me. I also try to look at my efforts and praise myself as I would praise any other family member for their efforts in life. The expectations I have of myself quite often are an enemy to me purely because if I don't reach them I feel like a failure, I don't want to feel that way anymore. My goal is to not only keep managing the illness but also rid myself of extra attachments that do nothing for me. I'm a kind person to others. It's time to start valuing myself and stop these add on thinking styles centred around having mental illness. I need to look at the facts no matter how ugly in any given time frame and accept them.

I'm the mother who

replies: 0

I'm the mother who seems to know what I've wanted for my children. Since the kids were little I've placed lots of value on their well being. I'm the mother who has placed emphasis strict bed routines, screened viewing materials on tv for suitability,... View more

I'm the mother who seems to know what I've wanted for my children. Since the kids were little I've placed lots of value on their well being. I'm the mother who has placed emphasis strict bed routines, screened viewing materials on tv for suitability, limited 'tech' time, invested time listening to and hearing about school days, provided a setting allowing suitable down time, taken great interest spending time listening, engaged in bush walks, bike rides and cuddled up on Saturday nights with a movie. I'm known to my children as a little quirky, a side they love. My kids are growing up, their needs change and I'd like to coast alongside them and tap into those needs guiding and supporting. I'm the least person people would think fits the catagory of a bipolar, yes I sound like I'm looking down on the disorder and I guess I am. You see, my children have a settled life, they are well adjusted at school and very kind. My eldest has a beautiful way with people, he empathizes well and is a deep thinker. My youngest, a daughter is also kind, caring and thoughtful with friends. I'd like to think that I've been a part of their make up not just my husband. It's easy to let bipolar or any other mental illness be an obstacle in thought because we tend to blame ourselves so much for having it that it stops me from seeing all that's around me. In the back of my mind I know my self esteem is not great and that's why I've done everything I can to build my children up to be resilient characters who have a balance of looking after their needs but being mindful of others. I feel like I sound as if I'm blowing my own trumpet sort of attitude but I'll take that chance here. You see, I find that labels create problems. I feel that if my illness was ever discovered I'd loose credibility of what I've provided. My children are very settled through all of this. I'm well aware that as my son gets older and he's 13 now, that he could start asking questions about simple things such as why I'm not at paid work for instance. All I can do is put it in a positive light and let him know that his father and I decided that we wouldnt over load mum at least while the children were very young. It's one instance within our family. I find that judgement can be passed very quickly with labelling people. I am a soft hearted soul who battles a storm every now and then. If the storm ever becomes to heavy again the plan changes. Until then my smaller shifts in mood are part of me.

When someone who helped you becomes distant

replies: 15

Good evening I've posted this in staying well, as I've over the worst of my condition at present and using strategies to keep well. But really this could relate to anyone in life at any stage of their Journey. What do you do if someone you trusted, ... View more

Good evening I've posted this in staying well, as I've over the worst of my condition at present and using strategies to keep well. But really this could relate to anyone in life at any stage of their Journey. What do you do if someone you trusted, that helped and supported you during your illness all of sudden becomes really distant from you? I can't see its because I'm unwell and a burden, because I'm now quite well. I can't see its because I'm overly needy or reliant upon them because I'm not. I don't know the reason, and it's disappointing. I don't know whether to ignore it and just go on with my life and forget they exist, OR whether to approach them and ask what's going on? I don't know! I have so much going on in my life, I really don't need this and just wish people where honest with their feelings. feelings..

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Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

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My ex is getting cold feet keeps contacting me drunk

replies: 8

Putting my "face" on again...

replies: 1

Hi, my name is Pipsy and I am nearly 64. I've been married nearly 25 years and I'm so fed-up and down in the dumps. Can anyone help? please.

replies: 118

Sorry for all my posting. I think I'm going to have to try harder and dig deep for acceptance.

replies: 12

Illness & failing relationship

replies: 4

new love and lost

replies: 2

Just seperated from my husband. Struggling to move forward

replies: 13

Self awareness just not enough.

replies: 6

I'm the mother who

replies: 0

When someone who helped you becomes distant

replies: 15

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

My ex is getting cold feet keeps contacting me drunk replies: 8

Putting my "face" on again... replies: 1

Hi, my name is Pipsy and I am nearly 64. I've been married nearly 25 years and I'm so fed-up and down in the dumps. Can anyone help? please. replies: 118

Sorry for all my posting. I think I'm going to have to try harder and dig deep for acceptance. replies: 12

Illness & failing relationship replies: 4

new love and lost replies: 2

Just seperated from my husband. Struggling to move forward replies: 13

Self awareness just not enough. replies: 6

I'm the mother who replies: 0

When someone who helped you becomes distant replies: 15

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

My ex is getting cold feet keeps contacting me drunk

replies: 8

Putting my "face" on again...

replies: 1

Hi, my name is Pipsy and I am nearly 64. I've been married nearly 25 years and I'm so fed-up and down in the dumps. Can anyone help? please.

replies: 118

Sorry for all my posting. I think I'm going to have to try harder and dig deep for acceptance.

replies: 12

Illness & failing relationship

replies: 4

new love and lost

replies: 2

Just seperated from my husband. Struggling to move forward

replies: 13

Self awareness just not enough.

replies: 6

I'm the mother who

replies: 0

When someone who helped you becomes distant

replies: 15