Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Iwant2B3 Having a hard time -my sons birthday just passed
  • replies: 3

It's been 13 years since I seen my children. It was my sons birthday just a few days ago. It never bothered me every year since the incident. I just thought wait til he is 18 then he will want to see me. He will want to find me. They can't keep him f... View more

It's been 13 years since I seen my children. It was my sons birthday just a few days ago. It never bothered me every year since the incident. I just thought wait til he is 18 then he will want to see me. He will want to find me. They can't keep him from me anymore. I waited and waited and waited, 13 years I have cried every single day. I don't function. I don't eat. I don't talk to anyone. I just wait sitting in my room alone everyday. He just turned 19. I don't want to wait any longer. I don't want to grieve for a lost child anymore. He's a grown up. He knows I'm alive. He knows where I live. He hates me. I hate me more. Do you know what it's like to live with anger and hatred towards yourself. That's 110,000 hours of being mean to me. I let bad things happen to me because I know I deserve them. My next door neighbour borrowed my car and it broke down. She borrowed my other car to go fix the broken down one and she stole both cars and fled the state. I didn't do anything. I didn't even go to the police. My cousin moved in with me and then kicked me out of my house. I still did nothing. My ex kidnapped my child (not his biological child) and fled the state. All I did was cry. My mother takes my son, poisons his mind against me and then puts him in a boys home. I did nothing to help him. My partner calls me horrible names and is physically abusive. I still do nothing. WHY CANT I FIGHT BACK? Why do I feel like I'm not worthy of anything? My mother was an independent strong woman who never let anyone get away with hurting her or her kids. Why can't I be like that? I let everything turn to shit and I sat back and did nothing.

nion i made a bad choice
  • replies: 2

Im 14 years old and i gave someone my virginity....i was in a sexual relationship with my friend and i slowly got feelings for him, i got attached and he decided to date someone and cut off the sexual relationship, i feel really stupid and i made him... View more

Im 14 years old and i gave someone my virginity....i was in a sexual relationship with my friend and i slowly got feelings for him, i got attached and he decided to date someone and cut off the sexual relationship, i feel really stupid and i made him upset because i lied to him about not being a virgin and ivehurting myself again because i just feel like such an idiot i made him upset and i feel like i deserve pain because i constantly make people upset and i feel like all i do is ruin peoples lives

LoyalBlues Partner left me says doesn't love me anymore :(
  • replies: 7

Hello there i'm a 28 year old male i have had depression/anxiety for over 10 years, I have not worked for some time now, I was with my partner for 3 n half years until she recently had told me she doesn't love me anymore and she doesn't want me anymo... View more

Hello there i'm a 28 year old male i have had depression/anxiety for over 10 years, I have not worked for some time now, I was with my partner for 3 n half years until she recently had told me she doesn't love me anymore and she doesn't want me anymore while we were waiting in my psychiatrist's waiting room an while i was just about to get my life on track (was seeing a job seeker trying to get a job for our future) I'm left more depressed than i have ever been, My depression first started when my first love of 4 years left me, Some years later i met another girl of which we weren't "official" but when she left me for some one who was serious i was depressed and heart broken again because i was coming around to making it official then i met this girl (my now ex) she also was going through a breakup "separated" and then a divorce when i had first met her and so we fell in love and everything was good.. The thing is i have never loved a girl and showed it so much in my life she had a miss carriage some months ago after we were trying to have a child, But now she says she just wants to be be happy and doesn't want me in my life, She understands my condition and knows its not fair but she says she just cant be with me she was crying and stuff i'm guessing from guilt?, Now the thing is she thinks i'm a bum and that i'm never going to work and that i'm going to just bludge off her but this is not the case at all i have never asked or taken a cent off her i was genuinely going to get a job and do some online courses at the same time and was going to buy a engagement ring and get engaged to her this year on our 4 year anniversary (she didn't know this) also she has a big family and at the start (few years ago) i didn't want to meet them all and stuff because of anxiety and shyness but as our relationship dragged on she never asked me to again but i wanted to an i was ready. She went overseas for 3 months during our relationship i waited and stayed loyal to her, In all honesty i'm not a bad guy and she says i'm not bad or did anything really wrong but its just she fell out of love, I'm a tall good looking guy (some say) i'm a great cook i know how to work on computers,cars,motorbikes etc and i'm very smart with general knowledge, Now she had lost love for me before around 2 years ago but after she said she will try she was good and our relationship was great.

Maureen When are you ready for dating
  • replies: 2

I've been going through a nasty session of depression and anxiety for the past couple of years. I'm 55. A lot of my problem is being so so lonely. I've been on my own for 9 years. Was married for 18 years, divorced, had a partner for 3 years til my d... View more

I've been going through a nasty session of depression and anxiety for the past couple of years. I'm 55. A lot of my problem is being so so lonely. I've been on my own for 9 years. Was married for 18 years, divorced, had a partner for 3 years til my depression destroyed that. My kids are grown up, luckily still spend time with me and have a gorgeous 2 year old grand daughter. I also have a couple of great girlfriends who are very supportive. But it would be so lovely to have a special person in my life. I'm doing the up and down thing. Some days, sometimes a week of doing really well then down I go again. They can't get the drugs right, I can't find a psychologist. I'm not looking for a partner to fix me. I would just like someone to spend time with, care about me, accept me for me, ups and downs and all. Is that too much to ask for? Should I be more stable before putting myself out there? When do you know you're ready? I'm asking this tonight but by the morning ill probably have lost the confidence to have a go. But it will come back again. Your thoughts, experiences would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys. Maureen

kanga_brumby Daughter tiring to rule the house
  • replies: 1

I have a 16-17 year old daughter who is tiring to help around the house. Cleaning, cooking etc. I also have a 14 year old son who A.D.H.D. who always leaves a mess every where he goes. All normal so far siblings just fighting. I try to break it up . ... View more

I have a 16-17 year old daughter who is tiring to help around the house. Cleaning, cooking etc. I also have a 14 year old son who A.D.H.D. who always leaves a mess every where he goes. All normal so far siblings just fighting. I try to break it up . it always ends in a yelling match. She feels threatened and gets defensive and now has angisoty she wont tet me parent either one of them. The mother died from cancer in 2004. Leaving them with me with my health going north for the winter

flower_girl1 Lonely Without Love
  • replies: 6

So. I am 26F, and I have never had a boyfriend, never been in love, never had any more than a passing crush on someone.I have been pretty busy most of my adult life so it was never an issue but now that I am no longer studying it is really getting to... View more

So. I am 26F, and I have never had a boyfriend, never been in love, never had any more than a passing crush on someone.I have been pretty busy most of my adult life so it was never an issue but now that I am no longer studying it is really getting to me. I grew up around guys, I only have brothers and most of my cousinds are guys and my my brothers friends were always around so it was just guys guys guys. That was why I have never been boy crazy I just got really sick of guys cause I always saw their bad side.I have never wanted to play the field, and the idea of dating is just terrifying. I have no desire to sit in judgement with someone and find out if I can fall in love with them. I would listen to friends who were dating and they would be like, yeah I don't really like this guy, I'm probably gunna dump him soon. I would hate to be in this situation, I dont want to be with anyone unless I love them.People ask me about dating all the time and I swear they have no idea how awful they are being!I dont know what to say to them, that I dont want to go boy hunting. I really dont know why I cringe at the idea of a guy hitting on me, or why I virtually never see a guy and think I might like.I have joined an online dating site to try and force myself to do this. But its just making me upset, I have no idea what I am looking for really but every face I see looks ordinary and un exciting.Growing up the world gives you this impression that love means true love, epic love, head over heals in love. And I dont want to settle for anything less. I feel like there is something wrong with me, evryone else seems to find this so straight forward and easy but to me its like entering the hunger games. For the longest time I just kept telling myself I don't want a boyfriend I like my independance, which is true. But what I really wish I had was someone I truely love. And I guess I am wondering if this really happens, or if people just convince themselves to fall in love with the right person.So yeah this is what's getting me down at the moment. Is it a ctually possible? Or is it just a fairy tale? Flower Girl

cocoa1 Feeling Overwhemed
  • replies: 4

Feeling overwhelmed by 3 kids 2 teenagers 15 yr old boy who is verbally abusive, 14 year old daughter who is bright but does not feel happy at school and a 11 year apergers son. Myself 49 going through menopause. Can't see the light at the end of the... View more

Feeling overwhelmed by 3 kids 2 teenagers 15 yr old boy who is verbally abusive, 14 year old daughter who is bright but does not feel happy at school and a 11 year apergers son. Myself 49 going through menopause. Can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and feel anxious all the time.

Agnetha I seem to attract control types
  • replies: 8

Hi . My name is Agnetha. I'm originally from Sweden but I've lived in Australia for over 10 years. No children but two marriages so far with very difficult guys. The first one, he want to control every minute of my life, even I visit my friends, he w... View more

Hi . My name is Agnetha. I'm originally from Sweden but I've lived in Australia for over 10 years. No children but two marriages so far with very difficult guys. The first one, he want to control every minute of my life, even I visit my friends, he want to know what we do and say, Same if I am on the phone, he want to listen to everything we say, then he quiz me after that. He don't trust me and very jealous I think even I just look at men in the street. So I had to leave him. Now I with what seem to be nice guy at first but now he want to do the same, control every movement and very strict with me at home. He supervise my housecleaning, making sure I clean toilets to his standard and get very arngry if toothpaste lid not on or shower tile grout not cleaned to perfection. the other day, he say "why you not do hospital corners on bed?' I say "what is hospital corner"? I suffer anxiety and depression very bad and a little OCD, just a little. I thinking to leave this guy and go back to Sweden. it seem I just attract controlling guys who don't respect me. Why is that? I not aware what I do to deserve that 'cause I very kind to them, very kind indeed. thank you reading agnetha

Feelinblu Marriage again after separartion
  • replies: 9

I have pretty bad anxiety issues but at the moment and just able to cope (nearly) and hold on to my job. My marriage ended after 16years quite suddenly as my husband had an affair. Things were not great before that but ok. 6 weeks after that happens ... View more

I have pretty bad anxiety issues but at the moment and just able to cope (nearly) and hold on to my job. My marriage ended after 16years quite suddenly as my husband had an affair. Things were not great before that but ok. 6 weeks after that happens I threw myself into another relationship that was very romantic and exciting. After 14 months I realised that relationship wasn't going to work and I ended it which was very hard. I was scared and lonely and so was my ex husband by that stage so decided to give it another go. That was nearly a year ago. Things are good for a while but then I start having thoughts of ending it this upsets him greatly. He has been good since we've been back together but for some reason I just don't feel an attraction towards him and it's really distressing me. We tried counselling but it was just too distressing for both of us. Don't know what to do and it's affecting my health

SeriouslyWorried Worried
  • replies: 8

She lives in fear of her life and the lives of her children. Her ex husband has threatened her, on multiple occasions, with death. Her death and the death of the children.He still stalks her. He intimidates her. His new partner, a supposedly educated... View more

She lives in fear of her life and the lives of her children. Her ex husband has threatened her, on multiple occasions, with death. Her death and the death of the children.He still stalks her. He intimidates her. His new partner, a supposedly educated woman, sends lumps of coal to her parents. The ex-husband drives 6 hours from his home, to surveil her, parking his car directly behind hers in a shopping centre of 2000 spaces, and sitting in his car until she leaves work. She is afraid, legitimately. She has broken off relationships and now is distancing herself from friends. She wants everyone to leave her alone . She believes she's in this alone and no one can help her. She believes the only outcome is her death, at the hands of her ex. I am scared for her. I am scared she is isolating herself, when she needs to be surrounding herself. But I don't know what to do. I don't know how to help someone who so adamantly refuses help. I don't want her to be pressured or overwhelmed, so I respect her wishes of leaving her be..... ....but I need her to know this is something she doesn't have to face alone. People love her. I love her. I just want her to be safe and happy and to know that whatever demons lay before her, that there will be people to stand by her side and face them. I want to protect her. But how do I help someone that's refuses it?