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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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LostAlmostEverything Ive lost almost everything help someone
  • replies: 18

Hi all first post here, I suffer depression and anxiety, in one month lost my job, wife, kids, dog and home. Im now living with my eldest son at my mothers house (shes on permanent life support and last legs) my ex is sleeping with a friend of mine..... View more

Hi all first post here, I suffer depression and anxiety, in one month lost my job, wife, kids, dog and home. Im now living with my eldest son at my mothers house (shes on permanent life support and last legs) my ex is sleeping with a friend of mine..I Have spent a week crying non stop and just want the pain to end...my whole life is destroyed and i dont know what to do...my ex and i still talk and i see the kids but she was the love of my life...12 years together and 3 children...due to get married next year.....im lost, confused, helpless and have no hope i feel i cant trust anyone.....

Dingbat1 Reaching out, Couple questions
  • replies: 5

Hello there; First time poster. First of all I would like to thank the community for being here and also being supportive. Had a read through a few posts and I'm very thankful that I can reach out in a place like this. I would like to ask for some ad... View more

Hello there; First time poster. First of all I would like to thank the community for being here and also being supportive. Had a read through a few posts and I'm very thankful that I can reach out in a place like this. I would like to ask for some advice to help deal with a friendship problem and to see if anyone has ideas on how to dull down the pain. The backstory is I spend most of my time online. It's where I'm most comfortable and have developed a lot of friendships with people all over the world. Over the past year or so I have been conversing with a person who I'd like to call L for now. Things were going great (as they usually do), we even both told each other we were interested in each other more than friends. I generally don't do internet relationships but I felt she was worth it. Over the past couple of months or so, our friendship has deteriorated. There haven't been any arguments or anything of that nature - I guess we just simply ran out of things to talk about? However recently (for a few weeks) she's started ignoring my posts and spending time on an online massive multiplayer game. We both played this game and she only recently came back. When I logged in she logged off within 30 seconds to 1 minute twice. My paranoia started to act up a bit so I began to ask her if things are okay. She said things were fine but the ignoring kept up. I decided to let her know that I was worried that our friendship was deteriorating and I didn't want us to end up like her past relationship where they simply just stopped talking. Her reply was "If something's wrong I will let you know. Don't interpret things that aren't there". Since then she has been offline on our messenger program for 3 days now, although I know she's still logging into the game for a majority of the day (Generally between 5-10 hours). I understand that this is a relatively small problem in the grand scheme of things but I am really struggling to cope with this life change. I am blaming myself for this and I don't think I should be (And to be clear I don't think there's any blame to be placed here). I'm also giving her space as I think that's the best course of action right now but I'm finding it hard to get away from the computer as this is where my socialising is. However my questions would be what have people done to take your mind off a GF/BF/friend that you've spent a lot of time with? Have you gone to a GP/Psych and did it help? Thank you for reading.

GemAndLogan Forgive and forget? Addiction
  • replies: 12

My partner and I have been together for 9 years. We have been through a lot together both good and bad. Last year however, I found myself in a position I never thought I'd be in. My partner started using and became addicted to ice behind my back and ... View more

My partner and I have been together for 9 years. We have been through a lot together both good and bad. Last year however, I found myself in a position I never thought I'd be in. My partner started using and became addicted to ice behind my back and all our trouble started. He hid his addiction from me until he started acting like a crazy person, he was a complete opposite of who is really is, he cheated on me, he broke the law and caused police to raid our home twice, he completely shut out everyone who is important and I found myself alone more often than not. He is now clean and has been clean for 4 months, he sees a counselor twice a week and gets drug tested weekly. He's not drinking or touching any drugs at all and is back to his old self. Of course, he wants to move on and leave the past behind him however I am still so hurt over what I was put through. Do I forgive the person he is knowing that the person who wronged me wasn't really him and support him for getting clean or do I up and leave knowing that the trust will never be there again? I'd love to move forward, I just dont know if I can

Nic05 Husband has anxiety, depression, OCD- effect on family
  • replies: 4

Hi, im new, so not sure what to expect or to write actually. Been married 28 years. Husband has had anxiet for 8 and more recently depression and now pretty severe OCD. i have 3 gorgoues kis- they are starting to feel the strain. They are 11, 13 and ... View more

Hi, im new, so not sure what to expect or to write actually. Been married 28 years. Husband has had anxiet for 8 and more recently depression and now pretty severe OCD. i have 3 gorgoues kis- they are starting to feel the strain. They are 11, 13 and 15. Their dad has basically become estranged from them. It's tricky as he is a secondary teacher at their school. They are constantly embarrassed because of his odd and inappropriate behaviour at school and at home. He doesn't talk to the kids anymore and he doesn't do anything with us- just sits on the couch either watching tv or drinking. The kids' dad has gone and my husband is a stranger. What to do? It's been a lot of time (8 yrs) and a lot of $ had gone on wasted appointments. I'm not sure what my best plan is. Thinking of my mental health but especially that of my kids. How healthy is this life for them? Suggestions?

CMF Tired, worn out, sick of being expected to do everything and not being respected.
  • replies: 81

Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She ... View more

Well not a good day for me. I am so down and out and sick of everything. My 2 older kids went interstate with their dad (my ex husband) last week for a few days as his new GF lives there. My eldest daughter cam home sick, coughing, sneezing etc. She has ben sick for a week and still not better. My little one is now also coughing and sneezy. My ex husband has gone back interstate of course as he is renting an apartment there and goes back and forth every week. It frustrates me that his life just goes on like one big holiday while I am stuck looking after sick kids. He is a selfish liar, doesn't think he should have to do anything. Does not think about anyone but himself and putting on a show to impress people. He works for himself, always used the excuse of work to get out of things but clearly its just another lie as he can work from interstate while he visits his GF without any problem. I am so tired, not much sleep as the girls are coughing at night. My little ones dad does all his things first and I feel worries about us last and i'm so sick of it. I feel they both just expect me to deal with everything, making excuses to get out of any responsibility. I don't ask much of anyone but when I do I always have to be let down. Selfish, selfish, selfish liars. Am I that worthless to everyone? I mean seriously do they really expect me to just do everything? I feel like telling them both to go to hell and packing up and moving. It is so cold today. I cant take much more of everyone being sick and the cold weather.

EdithJayne I'm grieving for my old life
  • replies: 3

Hi, today I've finally hit rock bottom. in 2015 my partners wife died. I say wife because they were still legally married despite separating ten years earlier. 5 years of knowing her I got to know her and liked her very much. We now care for their tw... View more

Hi, today I've finally hit rock bottom. in 2015 my partners wife died. I say wife because they were still legally married despite separating ten years earlier. 5 years of knowing her I got to know her and liked her very much. We now care for their two kids. I'm sad that I dislike one of them. Sad that my former life is finished, sad that I resent their child and guilty at feeling this way. I have lost my sex drive. don't want to come home some days and angry that I feel trapped. My partner misses me but I'm no longer the same. We used do do things as a couple. Spend time on trips. I just see 5 years of tantrums and chaos and I can't breathe. He's given me every opportunity to go but I don't want to abandon him. I recently lost my Dad and it's as though my grief doesn't count. He was old after all. How do I find balance and peace again?

Movinforward Dating and ghosting
  • replies: 4

Hi, this is my first post. I've been single for over three years, post divorce. Started online dating last year. I also moved to a country area. Started seeing someone in December and it has been going very well. It's long distance, but we've managed... View more

Hi, this is my first post. I've been single for over three years, post divorce. Started online dating last year. I also moved to a country area. Started seeing someone in December and it has been going very well. It's long distance, but we've managed to have a weekly date until now. Just in the past week his communication has changed in frequency and he said he'd call me back, so I left it and that was 3 days ago. I manage with anxiety, but the changes in communication have made my brain go into over drive. He knows I have anxiety too. If he has changed his mind, I would rather know so I can move on than wait for a phone call I might not get. Should I just brave it and call him? I have been ghosted before after a couple of initial dates, but this has been going on for longer and I've developed feelings for him. How do other people manage dating and anxiety?

Guest_3072 Emotionally Imbalanced Relationships
  • replies: 2

Hello everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas as to how they personally or theoretically would deal with having relationships where there is an emotional imbalance. And by that, I mean that one person emotionally is more open than the ot... View more

Hello everyone, I'm just wondering if anyone has any ideas as to how they personally or theoretically would deal with having relationships where there is an emotional imbalance. And by that, I mean that one person emotionally is more open than the other person, or one person in the relationship is more easily trusting to share vulnerable information and is wanting the other person to open up more but that other person seems to have a wall built around them and doesn't share that much information about themselves. I don't know, I feel like this is me with most of the relationships that I have with people and it goes both ways. Like with some people, they are more open with me and I keep my distance more and with others I am more open than they are. I don't know, do any of you experience the same or similar thing in your relationships with people, and is this a common thing? Gabby

Jacksgirls I don't want to be lonely but don't want to see my friends either
  • replies: 3

Hi, i don't know how many people feel this way, but it really is holding me back.. i want to see my friends all the time but somehow I manage to make up excuses not to.. I don't know why I do this and I hate the fact that I do... if anyone has any ad... View more

Hi, i don't know how many people feel this way, but it really is holding me back.. i want to see my friends all the time but somehow I manage to make up excuses not to.. I don't know why I do this and I hate the fact that I do... if anyone has any advice for me or does the same please I'd love the chat...

Cat_inapastlife Trying to support my husband with depression, but Mother in Law difficult
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone, I would love to hear any advice anyone can give. I have been supporting my husband through his depression and anxiety. I think he, and we, are doing well. He has opened up to me on many occasions about his childhood, and while he grew up... View more

Hi Everyone, I would love to hear any advice anyone can give. I have been supporting my husband through his depression and anxiety. I think he, and we, are doing well. He has opened up to me on many occasions about his childhood, and while he grew up in a loving family his mother has mental health issues and is manipulative beyond belief! My husband grew up among this influence and I think it is one of the main reasons why he suffers now himself. He has learned behaviours from her which I can see very clearly, and he has entrenched beliefs and emotions that all stem from her behaviour and manipulation through his childhood and adolescence. In recent years (we are in our early 30's) our relationship with his parents is civil, but distant. We are by no means close. Keeping them at a distance works, because it is less strain on my husband (and me). This doesn't come without constant guilt treatments (being called selfish and forgetful, hopeless....), which we are doing well in ignoring, most of the time. As awful as it sounds, this is sadly what we need to do manage. Now that we have a baby on the way, I think it's going to become difficult to keep the distance. I am worried that her greater presence will not help my husbands mental health. Heck... my mental health is at risk here too. So I guess I'm looking for some advice for how to manage this relationship when we do want them in our lives and our children's lives, but we need to keep the distance at the same time. This will be there first grandchild, so naturally the excitement is high. I would also like to know generally, if anyone has any advice for how to deal with a relationship like this with their parents/in-laws. Thank you