Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Categories
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

mar_k MOVING ON ...how to
  • replies: 2

when and how can we stop worrying about our children, I am sad that one of ours is unable to move on from a stressful situation.. , I know that she was unfairly criticized, but move on, I am tired now of the constant emails , you have to get an apolo... View more

when and how can we stop worrying about our children, I am sad that one of ours is unable to move on from a stressful situation.. , I know that she was unfairly criticized, but move on, I am tired now of the constant emails , you have to get an apology for me, I need it I feel sad for her , I am angry it happened, I approached that person, but heh, no resolutuion, lets move on... for our own sakes I had to in the past with tears help

sadmum63 Need help with adult sons depression
  • replies: 1

I need some advice to help me with my adult son who has depression and anxiety. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for about 4 yrs, but he just seems to keep giving him more tablets and these just make him sleepy but don't seem to make him ... View more

I need some advice to help me with my adult son who has depression and anxiety. He has been under the care of a psychiatrist for about 4 yrs, but he just seems to keep giving him more tablets and these just make him sleepy but don't seem to make him feel better. He seems to be worse lately and that could be partly due to me moving on with a new relationship after my husband passed away ( that was not my sons father) He constantly texts me and tells me he is not coping and he is going to end it all. I think in the past I have enabled his behaviour when i think i have been trying to help him. I am always trying to 'fix' things for him and make him feel better. now it seems to have got to a point where i cant do or say anything to help him but he still keeps texting me and calling me. I feel like I need to toughen up and give a bit of 'tough love' but have no idea whether that is the right thing to do. any suggestions would be great. he has been to therapy, had ECT therapy, been to a psychologist that he wouldn't talk to. he does take his tablets, but he also uses drugs and dope to make him 'feel better'.

HopeForAll Don't feel cared about.
  • replies: 2

so here's the thing, I don't feel cared about by family or friends. I moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney after 19 years of living there; therefore everything I've ever known till now is another state away. Any communication is via phone call, texts ... View more

so here's the thing, I don't feel cared about by family or friends. I moved to the Gold Coast from Sydney after 19 years of living there; therefore everything I've ever known till now is another state away. Any communication is via phone call, texts etc. I had always felt like a bit of an outsider with my family and never felt like I belonged. Me and my mother do not speak at all due to her not being healthy for my mental state of mind. My dad has another family and is a bit of a workaholic, so he never has a lot of time for me. My sister is busy with her family, and so on with numerous family members. I seem to always make the first contact, I call and message constantly and it never seems to be the other way around. It really hurts me because the only person who rings my phone is my partner, and my nan occasionally to see how I am, other then that, I don't feel like I'm even given a second thought. In regards to friends, I'm still trying to create myself and figure out who I am etc. So I'm saying that, I don't feel confident when trying to make friends. And i feel embarrassed to say that, I'm almost 21 and I'm still using the term 'making friends'. But the friends I have made here are all from work, and again, they don't seem to text or even call me first. I just don't understand why everyone does this? Am I honestly not special to people or make an impact on anyone? i just feel really alone and not cared about.

iss_4 Feeling worthless and unloved in relationship.
  • replies: 2

I'm not sure how this works. I do know that I need someone to talk to. My boyfriend recently told me that he is basically tired of being there for me. I suppose the way i've been crying and talking less is taking a toll on him. However, I'm strugglin... View more

I'm not sure how this works. I do know that I need someone to talk to. My boyfriend recently told me that he is basically tired of being there for me. I suppose the way i've been crying and talking less is taking a toll on him. However, I'm struggling with my anger now. He has told me he wants to week off from our relationship. No talking, no seeing each other. Which I think is selfish. One of my best friends is lying in the Intensive Care Unit with sepsis. It has spread throughout his body and is attacking his organs. He's been in a coma for 2 and a half weeks. So naturally, I'm struggling. The fact that my partner has decided to block me out of his life during this time has made everything worse. I feel worthless because of him. Like he'd prefer to be alone without a burden attached to his hip. It makes me feel so unloved. I'm not sure if i'm just meant to say what's on my mind here or what. But i'm just so angry and I don't want to burden family or friends with how I'm feeling, because it clearly makes them love you less and drives them away. Which I think is so wrong and upsetting. I've battled depression for 6 years now. He knew this going into our relationship and I don't think he cares and or understands what goes on in my mind. I'm worried that he will reach the end of the week and he won't miss me. And I will have waited a week to be dumped and left behind with a broken heart and a feeling of worthlessness.

Lacus Struggling 1st year marriage to ADHD husband
  • replies: 2

Im struggling to cope with my 1st of marriage. There are time when i have regrets or think "did i make the right decision" or "what have i got myself into" We dated for 2yr before we got engaged, and married 2yr after in Oct last year. I did have sec... View more

Im struggling to cope with my 1st of marriage. There are time when i have regrets or think "did i make the right decision" or "what have i got myself into" We dated for 2yr before we got engaged, and married 2yr after in Oct last year. I did have second thoughts during our engagement but i thought it was just cold feet. 4yr , I thought I know well enough about my husband. He was born overseas, adopted to an Aus family when he was 10. He's not the sharpest tool in the shed (not trying to be condescending just stating the fact). He had ADHD and was put into medication when he was little boy for short time, he said he doesnt need it becaus he's only lowe level ADHD. While I'm aware of his condition/history, I admit i didnt have full understanding of it or how it would affect our relationship, I was not prepared of how much harder it is to live with one. He has no passion, not good at communicating or expressing his emotion. When I try to talk to him, sometimes I have no response back, feels like talking to a wall. He cant make decisions and when i asked question, his fav answer is "i dont know". All these irritates me and frustrates me. Im definitely the one wearing the pants in this relationship and this affects our relationship emotionally and sexually and Im starting to become less attracted to him. When i bring up any issue with him, he just sits there and mop but doesnt do anything about it to change or improve. So the problem will never be solved and it'll be there like a broken record. We argue multiple times in the week, over the same thing. I tried talking to him or text him so he can read and digest it slowly but the messages doesnt seem to get through to him. I wish i could turn back the time or reset all this but i know this is not a game. I feel stuck, I cant go backwards because I promise to love him and accept him. I also dont want to leave him, and be another person that makes him feel abandons all over again. I cant move forward because nothing seems to be improving, or with his background i don't feel like there's any hope of improvement. I cant talk to my family because they can be judgemental, but that's another topic for another day. I cant talk to any of my friends about it because most of them aren't married yet. I did read that most find 1st year of marriage is the hardest one. Can someone please tell me if this is normal for 1st year or if anyone can give me any advise on how to cope with my ADHD husband. Thanks!

Shell82 Feeling alone with no support
  • replies: 3

Ok so this is my first time trying to reach out for help/advice from strangers. So we just had our second baby a few weeks ago and my whole world is wrapped up in both children ( 4 years old and 2 weeks old). I would do anything for them. I don't hav... View more

Ok so this is my first time trying to reach out for help/advice from strangers. So we just had our second baby a few weeks ago and my whole world is wrapped up in both children ( 4 years old and 2 weeks old). I would do anything for them. I don't have the typical depression signs that people always talk about after a baby. The thing that is getting to me most is when I reach out to anyone for help (family or friends) I am getting absolutely no support or understanding. This is especially bad from my husband and my dad who also lives with us. I could ask for something as simple as a nappy change or taking out the rubbish and I get "why are you so lazy" or "you can do it" or "why isn't it already done" after being up all night with two sick children, being sick myself and having an emergency cesarean). Then when it comes to cleaning the house I get yelled at again by both as to why its not done (again receiving no help). Its come to a point where I'm doing all of things I shouldn't be doing after an emergency csection and I again end up in tears (I'll hide away doing housework while crying so I dont get yelled at, critized or shamed) because I'm in so much pain. Am I wrong to ask for help?? Am I asking to mich?? Is it wrong to need support and someone to talk to?

Danni4 Affairs
  • replies: 4

My husband had sex with someone else before we got married. He also drank a lot. He became infatuated with someone younger than me and so I went and did the same thing. I became intimate with this man and then the man called it off. My husband new th... View more

My husband had sex with someone else before we got married. He also drank a lot. He became infatuated with someone younger than me and so I went and did the same thing. I became intimate with this man and then the man called it off. My husband new things weren't right and got us into counselling. We then had kids. He got drunk and held my head almost to the floor twice. He then had that same lady work for him lost interest in me and I again met someone else. That didn't work out for me. I sought counselling. He found out about the other men. He tried to kill himself. I felt I had to stay with him. I found someone new and was going to leave. That person didn't work out but my parents helped me leave. I had a breakdown. He told everyone and the kids are suffering because people don't want to be around me. I have a new relationship and am very happy. I worry a lot.

wildheart Lost
  • replies: 6

Hi Everyone, Ok deep breath, here goes... I am reaching out to someone, anyone who knows what it is like to feel stuck and lost at the same time. I am going to be very honest and say that it has been my choices that have put me in my current situatio... View more

Hi Everyone, Ok deep breath, here goes... I am reaching out to someone, anyone who knows what it is like to feel stuck and lost at the same time. I am going to be very honest and say that it has been my choices that have put me in my current situation. I have recently moved into my ex partners house after a years seperation. We got in contact again and he was not doing to well so (relationship breakdown) and I honestly thought I could help him get through his dark time, while dealing with my own darkness, I have been in the house for 2 weeks and I feel so isolated and alone. I dont have anyone to talk to, I am really hoping just to talk to someone, anyone that has been or is going through a similar situation...

Herms Lost and no one to talk to
  • replies: 2

Hi there, It's my first time asking for help online. I don't even know if it will help but here goes. I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. I'm from Melbourne, she lives in Spain. I've been travelling back and forth to be with her. Last... View more

Hi there, It's my first time asking for help online. I don't even know if it will help but here goes. I have been with my girlfriend for over a year now. I'm from Melbourne, she lives in Spain. I've been travelling back and forth to be with her. Last time I was there for a month was back in March 2017 - and we both agreed that next time i should be there for at least 90 days. I just got here (Spain) 2 weeks ago with the intention of staying for 3 months but already things are going downhill. We already had a fight yesterday and she said some really hurtful things to me. Even though we have already made peace since then, I still can't get over the things she said to me and now I feel unwelcome here. I feel like I'm interfering with her life as opposed to being part of it. Her attitude was already off for the past week before the fight - silent, moping around the place when she's usually bubbly and full of energy with everyone else. This makes me feel even more unwelcome. I have other problems to deal with (financial, mostly) and so does she. But I'm starting to wonder whether she is really someone I should pursue a relationship with. All I want is someone to settle down and start a family with. She told me the same but from what I'm seeing she's mostly interested in partying with her friends and wasting her days tanning on the beach - even though she is also going through financial troubles. I really don't know who to talk to or what to do next. I have no friends here in Spain and I don't even speak Spanish. This makes me feel even more isolated. My instincts tell me to get on the first plane out of here and never return but I don't want to make the wrong decision. Thanks for listening/reading. If anyone has any word of advice it would be greatly appreciated. Herms

101 Mum with mental illness
  • replies: 2

My mum has series mental problems that she won't agree too. She has once been in mental hospital & they told her she had bio polar, anxiety, depression. She is loosing the plot she blames & threatens my family, she lost her license & recently drank d... View more

My mum has series mental problems that she won't agree too. She has once been in mental hospital & they told her she had bio polar, anxiety, depression. She is loosing the plot she blames & threatens my family, she lost her license & recently drank drove & crashed her car. She has trashed our home she won't leave us alone: I need to get her help but the cops think she is fine but she isn't ! I have video footage of what she says to us. What can I do she needs to go back to a mental hospital but she won't admit herself