Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

I'm here because I want to take my mind off my separation

Community Member


This is my first post and just going through the process of signing up has focused my mind and stopped the constant thoughts.

My husband and I have had problems for a long time. Tonight his words seemed very final to me and the realization has hit that he no longer loves me anymore and has finally let me go.

It has been something I have wanted for a long time but the reality isn't that great. I've been crying hysterically tonight as I just feel so alone.

I'm trying to be strong as I feel everyone expects me to be ok and I do portray that to the world.

However inside I am dying. I feel my friends don't really get it and have even said I'm seeking attention when I say no to social events. So I've just stopped talking about how I really feel.

No one gets it. I don't want to even get out of bed tomorrow I just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to death.

Yet I have work and a gorgeous two year old son who I love dearly. He's all that keeps me going lately.

Anyway thanks for listening and taking my mind off things for awhile. .

I just felt the need to say it...somewhere. .I'm not ok.

But when people ask I say Im fine but I'm not. I'm alone and unhappy. And I really miss him. But have to let him go.

How do people get past the overwhelming pain and lonliness when I'm finding my friends so unappealing right now.?

4 Replies 4

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Turtle81,

Just wanted to say hi and give you a warm welcome to the forums.

I've sorry that you've been having such a tough time but I'm glad that writing this post seems to have helped a little. Please feel free to keep doing so; you're not alone here and there's many people here to chat to.

I feel sad that your friends aren't being supportive right now and in a way I feel like you're turning into someone stronger because of it; instead of going to bed, you're working and you're taking care of your little son - something that can take enormous strength when all you want to do is cry.

You asked how we can get past the overwhelming pain and loneliness and I think that in a way it's not about getting past it but instead getting through it. Given that this is so recent (24 hours recent) of course it would make sense that you're hurting a lot, but it won't always be this way. Over time and with support you can find that the days will become easier as you know that this is the way you want things to be.

I also encourage you to consider seeing a therapist, as they can help be there for support, encourage you to find new supports and allow you to work through this.

He's told me tonight hes on a dating website. I can't cope with this at all.

Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor
Hello Turtle81, are you still living with your husband? How and why did he tell you this?

Hi Turtle81,

Thanks for your post.

I'm so sorry that he's told you that and that he's doing that so quickly. How does that feel for you? I'm guessing that it could bring up a range of emotions like frustration, anger, loneliness, betrayal. Whatever it brings up is okay.

I hear you in that you aren't coping but I see that you are. Of course it would hurt;- I would be worried if it didn't. Breakups hurt; whether you were cheated on, it ended mutually or one person ended it - it still hurts. I'm not sure how long you've been together but my guess is that he was a big part of your life, so I would understand if it does take some time for this to be less painful.

I did mention in my last post about seeing a therapist; I'm wondering if this is something that you'd be open to?