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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Glass567 Overweight Partner
  • replies: 2

As the title suggests my partner is very overweight and dealing with serious depression. I’m struggling to stay with him because most days he won’t leave the house or even move from his chair in the lounge room. I want to be able to experience life a... View more

As the title suggests my partner is very overweight and dealing with serious depression. I’m struggling to stay with him because most days he won’t leave the house or even move from his chair in the lounge room. I want to be able to experience life and not just be at home all the time and the only person I want that with is him. We’ve been together for over 10 years and his weight is just getting worse and I don’t know what to do. His family and I have tried to encourage him to go to the gym but he can’t stand sweating from exercise and because he won’t exercise he has trouble being on his feet for more than a few minutes. I feel so guilty talking about it but I have no one I can talk to about it without feeling worse. I’m very new to this so thank you for listening if you got this far

mike1983 Sexual Problems In Marriage
  • replies: 4

My wife and i have been together 13 years married 7 with a 5yo and 3yo child Before meeting me my wife claims that she was quite ( shall we say ) free flying with men, which leads me to think she at some point had a high or moderately high sex drive ... View more

My wife and i have been together 13 years married 7 with a 5yo and 3yo child Before meeting me my wife claims that she was quite ( shall we say ) free flying with men, which leads me to think she at some point had a high or moderately high sex drive Since i have been with her, and since day one really she has been quite sexually awkward and being a gentleman i dont want to force a woman into something she does not want to do. The awkwardness from the beginning was her just not having the drive and rejecting me often to the point where i would stop making advances in fear of rejection. so sexually all through our relationship for me it has been rather problematic and when i try to cautiously raise the topic the conversation doesn't go very far. So rolling on the situation over time has been that the sex has been very much "same old" which i can handle, BUT it is getting to a point where the regularity has dwindled away and as of recent has gotten pretty bad, in order to instigate anything i tend to make hints for a couple of days and then she will reciprocate, almost as if she has had to have some days to mentally prepare ! I started a conversation with her about a week ago about her attraction to me etc and she said she was and that she had issues with her own body, mine to a point, work and that she enjoys sex when she is doing it, but its hard to get her to that point. my problem right now is i am beginning to resent her for it i think, and an even bigger issue, is because she pretty much refuses to put effort in. Right now i am finding i cant as i feel its either forced or not wanted, at this moment in time i am making no suggestions, no moves and am going cold turkey ( not without getting very annoyed ). i know she is not cheating, but it has gotten me down pretty bad questioning the longevity of my marriage as i do not feel she is into me. i know i am not the only guy here but i need a miracle pill for her but i dont want to have that awkward guy chat

Needadvice1122 Wife is leaving me...
  • replies: 1

12 days ago my wife told me she wasn't happy and wanted out. She told me she has been unhappy for 6 months but was in denial that the issue was me. We have two kids under 5 and both work stressful jobs. We were going to build a house this year and sh... View more

12 days ago my wife told me she wasn't happy and wanted out. She told me she has been unhappy for 6 months but was in denial that the issue was me. We have two kids under 5 and both work stressful jobs. We were going to build a house this year and she is studying. She then went to stay at her sisters and left me with the kids for the majority of the last 2 weeks. She has suffered from depression and anxiety but hasn't been medicated for a long time. I suggested counceling, a holiday with just the two of us to reconnect, I even offered to quit my job if we could just try and work things out. She is adament she doesn't want to try. Could this possibly be an episode of depression thay she might change her mind about or am I just holding out for hope that isn't there?

Lou88 Jealous of my brother - my family doesn’t understand.
  • replies: 1

My brother is having his 21st in a few months. He is a few years younger than me. Organising his 21st was much easier than mine & my parents seem to be looking forward to it much more, they’re less stressed etc. My brother has always been socially be... View more

My brother is having his 21st in a few months. He is a few years younger than me. Organising his 21st was much easier than mine & my parents seem to be looking forward to it much more, they’re less stressed etc. My brother has always been socially better than me - popular at school, lots of friends, charming to adults etc. I messaged my parents (I live overseas from them) and told them I was feeling upset & a bit jealous of my brother regarding his 21st, and thought it was going to be better than mine. Dad immediately got angry at me over the phone. So I tried explaining to mum & dad why I felt that way - ^ reasons above. Through my counselling (I have anxiety and depression), I’ve learnt to communicate my feelings with people early rather than bottle them up & lash out at people. However mum told me that I can’t help what I feel but it doesn’t mean the feelings are right, and I have really upset the whole family. I got upset & told them I wouldn’t be going to the 21st, and told mum to cancel a holiday we have booked together in a few months because I didn’t want to spend time with her. And told my parents I didn’t want to speak to them anymore. I haven’t been able to get out of bed since & feel so depressed. I don’t have many friends either. I don’t see any point in being here anymore. Please help.

KLB How do I tell him its over
  • replies: 14

I separated from my partner of 21 years almost 2 years ago. We have lived separately for 10 months. He has PTSD ( currently untreated). Long story short he wanted space, cheated and lied. He eventually stopped seeing the other woman. I told him he ne... View more

I separated from my partner of 21 years almost 2 years ago. We have lived separately for 10 months. He has PTSD ( currently untreated). Long story short he wanted space, cheated and lied. He eventually stopped seeing the other woman. I told him he needed to sort himself out before we can even think about fixing us. I thought moving out would give him reason to do that. It hasn't. I tried to get him to talk about everything for a while. Now all of a sudden he wants us to start talking about things because its painful for him not knowing what we are doing and we need to either sort it out or move on. His words. I'm worried about his mental state and how he is going to take it when I say we cant be together. He doesnt have any support close by except me and the kids (21, 18, 14). How do I tell him it's over and still be there for him?

Peanuthead Relationship failing from depression
  • replies: 2

I'm not sure what to do in my relationship I feel like it's impossible to keep it healthy. My partner is very helpful with my anxiety and depression, he's very reassuring and patient with me but it's come to the point where I believe there is constan... View more

I'm not sure what to do in my relationship I feel like it's impossible to keep it healthy. My partner is very helpful with my anxiety and depression, he's very reassuring and patient with me but it's come to the point where I believe there is constant sadness all the time and I feel guilty for making him have to put up with me. When i'm happy we are perfect but when I'm not, we aren't at all, and I'm the only one who creates conflict in our relationship from these spouts of anxiety and panic attacks. When I asked him why he didn't ever get mad or annoyed at me he responded by telling me he wasn't an angry person, which is so hard for me because I feel awful every time I randomly go through these moods and am currently ridden with guilt and ashamed of the way I acted recently towards him with jealousy when he did nothing wrong and made a fool of myself in front of all my friends. I am very insecure about our relationship from past incidences with other partners and family and he knows this, but for me it comes easy to blame my actions on my mental health and trauma. I don't know how to face him, I feel so full of guilt it's making me sick. I never want to lose him but I feel like I can't get out of this cycle, I have no idea what to do. help

Anon85 Pregnant and struggling
  • replies: 4

Somebody please tell me I'm not crazy! I'm 7 weeks pregnant, it was planned, my husband and I have been together for 10ish years and he is excited. I'm trying to be...but I'm not. When we first got together I was certain I wanted to have kids some da... View more

Somebody please tell me I'm not crazy! I'm 7 weeks pregnant, it was planned, my husband and I have been together for 10ish years and he is excited. I'm trying to be...but I'm not. When we first got together I was certain I wanted to have kids some day and that day has come. I struggled in the last few years about whether or not I wanted kids, I just can't think of any good reasons why I would. It looks like hard work, expensive, stressful, and my own childhood was pretty ordinary at times due to an overbearing and unstable mother. We decided to start trying and I was so excited, then I got pregnant straight away. I was excited when I didn't think about it too much, like the day to day stuff. Now at 7 weeks I dont remember the last time I didn't feel 8/10 nautious, nothing interests me and every time I see a baby on tv or out and about I feel sick and I just cringe. I don't know if I want this. I kind of mentioned to my husband how I was feeling but he got so upset and started talking about abortions and how he will have to leave and find someone who does want kids. He didn't mean it in a nasty way, he was just being practical. On top of this, he has not worked for a year (for medical reasons, still has money coming in), is depressed and going through a lot and has just been diagnosed with diabetes which is really messing him up. He is driving me crazy, I love him, I know logically I do. But I can't stand him right now! I feel like I have no control over my body, my boobs aren't even fun any more, they're practical and sore. I was finally at my goal weight and enjoying the gym. Now I can't bare to even get off the couch. Is this all just hormones? Am I going to want this baby eventually? I feel like I'm ruining my life! Everything is going to change so much and I can't see any positives right now! Suggestions? Thoughts? Help me!

Flangalicious Looking for private health care with good mental health cover
  • replies: 1

Hi All, Newbie here. Please be gentle! My husband is in a really bad spot. He's recently admitted to himself that he has PTSD (from being in the army) and has been issued a mental health plan from his GP. I also feel as though he has bi polar but tha... View more

Hi All, Newbie here. Please be gentle! My husband is in a really bad spot. He's recently admitted to himself that he has PTSD (from being in the army) and has been issued a mental health plan from his GP. I also feel as though he has bi polar but that's for a professional to come to the conclusion to... He doesn't have private health insurance so I'm looking around for him as he can't take on such a big task right now. The mental health plan from the GP will obviously only last for so long. We're based in QLD and he's early 30's (if that's makes any difference?) I have no doubt that this is a thread that will have been asked around a lot and I apologise for anther round of it and appreciate all your help and understanding Flang x

BeginnerHealer34 My parent encouraged me to suicide?
  • replies: 1

In the heat of an argument where both myself and my Mum were in a fight and shooting off swears at each other, my Mum said she regretted feeling sorry for me feeling suicidal. While this doesn’t directly imply she wants me to commit suicide, it’s not... View more

In the heat of an argument where both myself and my Mum were in a fight and shooting off swears at each other, my Mum said she regretted feeling sorry for me feeling suicidal. While this doesn’t directly imply she wants me to commit suicide, it’s not exactly ethical to say even by insult standards to someone who experienced a close brush by feeling suicidal last year. I was holidaying down in Margaret River in Western Australia with my family when this happened and I was NOT enjoying it. The weather was awful, what internet we had was super slow after the first day, pillows got wet through the caravan, I was expected to go down there and set up with my Dad when my Mum and little Brother has little reason to come later, I was expected to stay later than my Mum and little brother even though I hated the place. I could go on, but I was considering catching a bus back to Perth two days in. When they decided to kick my little brother off his bed and remove an undersheet for the sake of “back problems” on their part that was the last straw for me: 1. There’s nothing stopping them from doing the same thing to me further down the line beyond their word. 2. They could easily have experimented with their own bed and sleeping and/or got a new mattress instead of kicking my LB off his bed. When I tried to explain to them my concerns above and why said concerns (along with the other reasons MR was awful above) left me considering never caravanning again, they misinterpreted my argument and claimed I was ungrateful for being unwilling to give up a bedsheet. Please note that it was NOT the taking of the bedsheet that was irritating me, it was kicking my LB off his bed into a less comfortable bed, refusal to consider other options (that I’m aware of) for their bad backs and the above reasons regarding Margaret River that was the cause. If all the above except requesting a bedsheet from me didn’t occur I would have absolutely 0 reason to be upset. As to why I swore at them, a psychologist that I saw last year told me I needed to stop living for others and start living for myself. I interpreted that as meaning I needed a backbone. So if you swear at me in an argument unlike before, I’m now going to respond in kind. Whether they or I swore first I can’t rememberer, if I did swear first I absolutely owe them an apology. So I have options: 1. I go to my Nan’s and stay there. 2. I disown my mother when I’m financially independent. 3. I act like this didn’t happen. Thoughts?

dvdn My boyfriend broke me
  • replies: 3

Hi. Recently my boyfriend and I broke up. We lost our sex life and we both weren’t happy in general. He said he needed to be single and if it wasn’t going to work with me then it’s not going to work with anyone. I still love him and he said he wasn’t... View more

Hi. Recently my boyfriend and I broke up. We lost our sex life and we both weren’t happy in general. He said he needed to be single and if it wasn’t going to work with me then it’s not going to work with anyone. I still love him and he said he wasn’t breaking up with me because he didn’t love or care about me. Suddenly a few days later he said he came to realise he had fallen out of love with me ages ago and only just realised. This hurt. But I only found out that he had slept with someone the night before he told me that. He has been in a musical duo with this girl for 6 months. They spent lots of time together because their music became a part-time job. I was hesitant and had a bad feeling about her so kept my distance. She was constantly messaging him and wanting to hang out with him and generally said she didn’t want me around. I couldn’t go to his gigs because I work all weekend nights and that’s when they were on. 4 days after we broke up she confessed his feelings for her and she confessed hers to him. They slept together. Now he’s saying he might want to date her. Even though I KNOW he’s still hurting from our break up because me and him were best friends and partners for nearly 3 years. All my friends and his think that she is shady and has been gunning for him from the start. Is it silly of me to think he’s just lost and thinking this friendship is love?