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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Bubsymc Adult separation anxiety
  • replies: 1

Hi I’m a newbie to this forum. I suffer really bad anxiety when my husband goes out without me - only for a few hours. It’s really hurting him but I can’t seem to control the anxiety or jealousy that he’s having a good time and I’m not. It’s destroyi... View more

Hi I’m a newbie to this forum. I suffer really bad anxiety when my husband goes out without me - only for a few hours. It’s really hurting him but I can’t seem to control the anxiety or jealousy that he’s having a good time and I’m not. It’s destroying our long marriage. It’s like an out of body experience that I can’t control - crying, can’t eat or sleep and sometimes anger. And sometimes I’m not even aware of it happening like it’s all in subconscious and then manifests out itself later on. Seen a few psychologists and can’t seem to find the root cause to stop this. Had anyone experienced this? Thanks.

WTCTC New to this - Dont know where to start
  • replies: 2

Not sure where to start but wanting change. My husband and I are in a horrible cycle and I feel useless and unable to do anything right - well - what ever I do feels wrong and the cycle begins again!! We have 2 beautiful children - Our son 13 and my ... View more

Not sure where to start but wanting change. My husband and I are in a horrible cycle and I feel useless and unable to do anything right - well - what ever I do feels wrong and the cycle begins again!! We have 2 beautiful children - Our son 13 and my daughter age 11 who has OCD - diagnose 2 years ago and who I continue to try and support but know our continual fighting and arguments are destroying any efforts in trying to help her work thru her world...along with this COVID pandemic her OCD is just crippling at times -to all the family. Most of my days are filled with thoughts of blame - hating myself for my daughter OCD as we feed off each other when we are in this state - my son cry's when there is another argument that and unpleasant incident in the household - my thoughts of how to get out of this situation is constant - I have had enough and don't know how to stop this roller coaster of emotions. Maybe this is the start - know I need help - just overwhelming to make a start Feeling hopeful to change this cycle Overwhelmed and feeling exhausted

Isla_Dreams Deciding to start a family when you can't even decide what's for lunch!
  • replies: 1

My partner and I have been together for 8 years almost, in our early 30's. All our friends/family are starting their own families and I am feeling more pressure than ever to have to decide what to do. It is such a big decision, but of course my anxio... View more

My partner and I have been together for 8 years almost, in our early 30's. All our friends/family are starting their own families and I am feeling more pressure than ever to have to decide what to do. It is such a big decision, but of course my anxious mind is clouding everything. I can't decide what to have for lunch, let alone decide if I want to have a child! A part of me wants that, but then I am overcome with issues of my own self doubt and insecurities and feel like It is safer for me to just remain childless so as not to burden them with my worries and woes. My partner doesn't seem to want to talk about it, and doesn't not seem to be thinking about theses much as I do. I am at a good place In my job and we are trying to save for a house, which will be impossible on one income. Has anyone else been through a similar experience? I think about it constantly, distracting me from my everyday. We have so many friends and family constantly asking if we are going to have kids, and I am sure I am being paranoid, but feel really judged because we aren't trying for a family.

ReeCar123 When love is not enough
  • replies: 4

Hi All, my partner and I have recently made the painful but necessary decision to go separate ways for now. We love each other dearly and miss each other very much but he has a lot of old wounds, both from childhood and a past toxic marriage that nee... View more

Hi All, my partner and I have recently made the painful but necessary decision to go separate ways for now. We love each other dearly and miss each other very much but he has a lot of old wounds, both from childhood and a past toxic marriage that need to be healed first before he will be truly able to live a life without guilt, avoidance and fear. I will work on myself too and although we do not know what the future holds and it may not hold each other for us, we are both hopeful and see this as a great opportunity to get ourselves to a better level of awareness of self and a better quality of life so that we can truly love (each other) fully one day. We would like to have another chance with each other but I am not sure whether it will be so in the end. Only time will tell, I guess. I know everything will be ok in the end, no matter what, we will be ok.But at the moment, since this is all fresh and I love him very much, I am still hoping to have him in my life again one day. We are very kind and warm with each other still and not entirely cut off from each other but we implement boundaries on purpose because we know that if we perpetuate old patterns, nothing lasting and good will come from it. So long story short, I am wondering whether anyone has any stories of successful reconnection with a person they loved after the hard work was done. I would really like some words of encouragement and hope right now. I know I might be holding on to a weak straw and I also know that, one day, this hope might fade and that will be ok, too. But right now, something positive would really help. So if you have anything positive to share, I would be eternally grateful. Thank you in advance and I wish you all the best in return.

Heavenly_Flower Sons struggle
  • replies: 2

I’m not sure if this will help me but I’m going to try putting down these feelings of despair and anguish in the hopes that I may find some relief. I am in a very precarious position , one that I placed myself in as I felt I had no other option and t... View more

I’m not sure if this will help me but I’m going to try putting down these feelings of despair and anguish in the hopes that I may find some relief. I am in a very precarious position , one that I placed myself in as I felt I had no other option and this was the end of the line for me , the last straw. The emotional abuse turned physical 1 time then another and with that I found the strength to take myself into the courts to declare myself a mess and am applying for a restraining order against my own son . The most undignified position for me to find myself to be . In my life ,I have loved and sacrificed cared nurtured and defended my sons honour. Always making it known that I have his back and that I understand his struggles. Or at the very least an ear for him to talk to. Then the pandemic. Not knowing where he is living if he is safe kills me a little bit everyday. The worry is always just one thought away and has the potential to spiral me down into the very depths of despair. I’m holding onto my love for my son. I pray the light of my love reaches him everyday.

Heartcentred A Poem on Love
  • replies: 6

Hello! Just a short poem on love. I hope it brings inspiration and helps identify the small acts of love... ** Love is the feeling of pure joy Love is the feeling of excitement Love fills your heart and makes you smile When a loved one says, be caref... View more

Hello! Just a short poem on love. I hope it brings inspiration and helps identify the small acts of love... ** Love is the feeling of pure joy Love is the feeling of excitement Love fills your heart and makes you smile When a loved one says, be careful - it is a way of expressing their love for your safety When someone asks you how you are - they are expressing their love for your feelings Feel the love and express it to those who are yet to feel the love, for it will do good for the greater community **

Indoz Confused about us
  • replies: 2

I am so confused about our marriage and have been since nearly past 2 years. We were so much in love, but it just doesn’t exist anymore. We don’t talk much and I don’t feel any emotional connection between us. I guess one of the biggest reason our re... View more

I am so confused about our marriage and have been since nearly past 2 years. We were so much in love, but it just doesn’t exist anymore. We don’t talk much and I don’t feel any emotional connection between us. I guess one of the biggest reason our relationship was great was because he use to be very calm, loving and full of positive emotions. But it has all changed, he has now become repulsive, and snaps. He blames me for his behaviour change and believes that I have been dominating him since our marriage and now he doesn’t want that. He doesn’t understand that his snapping behaviour is causing us emotional grief. I go through sleepless nights. We have lost all intimacy and emotional balance in our marriage. The only time we talk is if we need something done at home. Every time I try to talk to him, he says he understands that things are not the same but we will work it out. I have told him that this whole relationship turmoil is leading me to have an affair where I can find someone to emotionally support me. And all he says is that it’s fine and I am an adult who can make their own decision. I don’t understand if our relationship will go back to what it was or not? I love him, what can I do to fix it?

PinkPigg Keep pushing people away old/new relationships
  • replies: 1

I've been trying to reach out to people who I once pushed away when my anxiety and depression was really bad. I've begun taking medication and have a better mindset, but I can't connect with anyone and it's making me spiral back into a deep depressio... View more

I've been trying to reach out to people who I once pushed away when my anxiety and depression was really bad. I've begun taking medication and have a better mindset, but I can't connect with anyone and it's making me spiral back into a deep depression. I need advice in maintaining/fixing old and new friendships/relationships. I've been alone for a while and want to make an effort but even then it doesn't look like anything I'm doing is working.

coco1691 Why is this happening to me
  • replies: 3

For the last two years I've felt very little for anyone in a romantic sense. There was one guy that I went on one date with and I had sparks but he was a jerk and would have made my life terrible as I found out a fee days later. So I broke it off. I'... View more

For the last two years I've felt very little for anyone in a romantic sense. There was one guy that I went on one date with and I had sparks but he was a jerk and would have made my life terrible as I found out a fee days later. So I broke it off. I've went on countless dates with guys and I actually have a new boyfriend at the mkoment. He easily makes me smile and can pick my mood up off the floor so quickly. He's supportive and caring and puts me first. We have a lot of things in common and we have a ton of fun together. I never get bored of him being around. He's not bad looking either. His smile always makes everything seem so much better. So why am I feeling blank? Why do I not have intense feelings for this man if he's everything I've ever wanted? When in alone, why do I often feel like breaking away from him and distancing myself? 2 years ago I was with a man I loved more than anything in this world and I felt so so much for him that it was unexplainable. We dated for a year and a half and then he broke up with me one morning in a text message. I cried for months. It hurt me more than anything ever has. I've never been the same since then. I also have borderline personality and OCD along with depression and anxiety. I'm constantly questioning what I feel for him and if I'm doing the right thing or if I'm wrong or I'm sabotaging myself by psyching myself out. I can't get in contact with my therapist to have a session because of lockdown and she doesn't help that much anyway. Can someone help me make sense of all this. I told him last night I felt blank towards him and it's put him in a downwards spiral and I'm crowing between what he's saying and the guilt and sadness I feel mixed with the bad thoughts travelling through my head constantly questioning everything. I'm at the point where I just want to drive and drive anywhere to escape everything. I'm not coping at all. Not to mention I lost my pet a week ago whom was 10 years old. That broke my heart. Please don't tell me to leave my boyfriend because that just makes my head worse. I need some sort of insight into why I'm feeling how I do and how can I fix this.