Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Daizyflower I love him but he used that
  • replies: 5

I love a guy who was a close friend of mind until he threatened the police because I was pressing for answers. I told him I like him awhile ago but there were other girls involved so I backed off. We were still friends and actually become quite close... View more

I love a guy who was a close friend of mind until he threatened the police because I was pressing for answers. I told him I like him awhile ago but there were other girls involved so I backed off. We were still friends and actually become quite close. Lately I realise I like him again so I told. He didn't real respond with anything but we still talk and started hanging out one on one. He invited me to his place but no one else was home, he took advantage of these. He made moves against me and really thought he liked me. We hangout again and we flirting but then out of nowhere is like I don't like you like that. I was blank at the time and was sending him things to make my feeling know but he started calling me obsessed. Apparently I wasn't listen and then he get mean. He made me the bad guy for taken how he was with me the wrong way. He said all of the things like he wasn't going to hurt me, he only does things with people he really likes, he was saying all of the rights and all apparently in the heat of moments even though he know how he felt and how I did.

Pinkjules1984 My partner treats me with silence and won’t talk
  • replies: 4

I’m currently in a relationship where I constantly try to engage my partner in a conversation, all I get is one word answers and excuses about why he isn’t available to talk right now, when I get frustrated and angry he tells me i’m over reacting and... View more

I’m currently in a relationship where I constantly try to engage my partner in a conversation, all I get is one word answers and excuses about why he isn’t available to talk right now, when I get frustrated and angry he tells me i’m over reacting and i’m imagining it all because he does talk. I can’t tale it anymore i feel I’m going mad !!!!!

SoniaR Need help
  • replies: 3

I left my husband last year. Not long after we were married he slept with another man and then told me. I stayed for a few years thinking I was doing the right thing by my children. I literally only had sex with him a hand full of times after that as... View more

I left my husband last year. Not long after we were married he slept with another man and then told me. I stayed for a few years thinking I was doing the right thing by my children. I literally only had sex with him a hand full of times after that as it was literally making feel ill even touching him. When I left I moved into a rental cause he wouldn’t move out. My 11 year old daughter moved with me but my teenage son stayed with his dad. My son has not stayed with my overnight since I left but my daughter goes to him every second weekend. We are only now going down the legal root cause we can’t do anything but argue about everything. We tried meditation he cancelled that, he just wants to fight me on everything. He was the one who messed up are marriage yet he is still in the family home with all its contents and has the kids more than I do. I am feeling so helpless at the moment and don’t know what to do.

Zared Stayed in a relationship too long.
  • replies: 2

I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, since we were both teenagers (now 23). She's an incredibly kind, caring, and intelligent woman that I care about. However, without going into details for the sake of privacy, I do not feel like I could ... View more

I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years now, since we were both teenagers (now 23). She's an incredibly kind, caring, and intelligent woman that I care about. However, without going into details for the sake of privacy, I do not feel like I could ever marry her/have children/spend my life with her. I'm no longer sexually attracted to her like I was and I feel attraction to other people (although I would never cheat). The kicker is that I've felt this way for ~2 years now, but I've stayed in the relationship. As a career driven young person I think it's been easy to use the rationship to keep me focused on climbing the ladder at work without distractions. Now at 23, I know that I need to end this relationship but I feel totally lost regarding how to go about it. We share a room together in share accomodation with shared possessions, play social sport together and share social groups. Additionally, we both moved in together straight out of home as teenagers as my girlfriend's family were emotionally (and to a degree physically) abusive. Although I know it's not my responsibility, I worry about the emotional impact and my girlfriend's ability to manage the breakup. I feel that my girlfriend is emotionally relient on me and often on the edge of depression. Also, after getting into a long term, serious relationship at such a young age, I think I just don't know how to end one. I was a teenager who could barely muster up the confidence to ask a girl out, so I think the same may apply now to ending this relationship with obviously much greater impact. I understand that being in this relationship is doing a disservice to both of us and that ending it is the right thing to do, but I just... can't. I'm reaching out to try and get the ball rolling. Hopefully receiving some advice might be the kick-start I need to do the right thing? Thank you for any help in advance! It's much appreciated

helmetel My boyfriend is on anti-depressants and wants to break up
  • replies: 2

My boyfriend is on a new anti-depressant. This was about four months ago. He's had a terrible reaction to it - greatly increased anxiety and depression. He's had to miss a lot of work because it's been so bad. Whenever he would talk to his psychiatri... View more

My boyfriend is on a new anti-depressant. This was about four months ago. He's had a terrible reaction to it - greatly increased anxiety and depression. He's had to miss a lot of work because it's been so bad. Whenever he would talk to his psychiatrist she would tell him to keep pushing, and they would put his dose up. He's been on the current dose for about a month and has become very hostile and resentful towards me. We used to be so happy but now he says he doesn't like me any more and he can't see the relationship working out. I don't know what to do. He's not himself at the moment and I don't want to end the relationship over something that can be fixed. It's so hard though. He's seeing a different psychiatrist tomorrow because his usual one is unavailable. I'm hoping they have some different suggestions

Zazu I just walked away
  • replies: 2

I've just walked out on my 5 month old and husband. I didn't want to. I don't know what else to do. I'm too angry, all the time. My shouting made my baby cry. I'm not good for him, for either of them. My anger is always there, always ready to burst o... View more

I've just walked out on my 5 month old and husband. I didn't want to. I don't know what else to do. I'm too angry, all the time. My shouting made my baby cry. I'm not good for him, for either of them. My anger is always there, always ready to burst out at the slightest thing. I tried counselling, but couldn't talk about what really matters. I did what I always do and talked a heap of shit to make the therapist think I was saying everything when I was really saying nothing at all. I want to go back but I don't know how. My husband will just act like everything is normal, brush past it and suggest that I need his mother to look after my baby more, because I can't cope. Everyone else can be a good parent Why can't I?

daithi1990 Towering Inferno
  • replies: 1

Hi All, Just came here looking for a bit of support, if a few kind souls can hear me out. My recent ex girlfriend and I of 5 years have just recently broken up. She has since admitted that during our rocky last 6 months that she had cheated on me (gr... View more

Hi All, Just came here looking for a bit of support, if a few kind souls can hear me out. My recent ex girlfriend and I of 5 years have just recently broken up. She has since admitted that during our rocky last 6 months that she had cheated on me (great help) I had grown a little distant, started arguing more and not met her emotional needs, as I work in quite a demanding professional job. However what kills me is the loyalty and many things that I have done for her throughout the relationship have just thrown up in my face. This betrayal has impacted me majorly, as I place a lot of value in trust personally. As I am currently here on a skilled working visa. The support network I have isn't as strong due to covid and being far away from home, don't get me wrong though I love it here in Australia. This leaves limited options for moving on or pursuing other interests. It just seems that everything around me is falling apart and I have no control over it. Sorry if I'm rambling, I generally tend to be quite a strong person it just seems everything is overwhelming at the moment.

Leigh45 Separated from my wife
  • replies: 22

I have been separated from my wife for 5 months. I am devastated. We have 2 teenage children together. We were married for 11.5 years but together for 23 years. We had the usual ups and downs an arguments to me that was a normal marriage. This weeken... View more

I have been separated from my wife for 5 months. I am devastated. We have 2 teenage children together. We were married for 11.5 years but together for 23 years. We had the usual ups and downs an arguments to me that was a normal marriage. This weekend is our 12 wedding anniversary. I am not coping at all. I talked to her 3 weeks ago that I would love to try again and she said that all we could be was good friends. She explained to me that we just grew apart and our marriage become stagnant. I went to counselling and I believe I am a better person. My youngest (15) is not coping at all. Like me he wants it to be worked out. I see my kids every weekend and when me and her are together we get on fine like nothing has happened. This week has been hard as she told me that she has submitted the legal separation papers. I have had 2 break downs at work and my boss who is also a friend has had a talk with me and given me some time off just to relax and find myself. I love her with all my heart and always will. She is my world and my first love. I cannot imagine my life without her by my side. Only a few people know about our separation. Everyday I cry and think about what have could of been. I cannot get her out of my mind. I know I’m not in a good place but my feelings for her will never change. Both of us have no intention of meeting anyone to start dating. I know life must go on and I have to respect her decision but how can you when you know the marriage could have been fixed. She is my world my rock and my best friend. I just can’t let go.

Tia82 Living in a loveless marriage
  • replies: 10

So hubby (57) and I (38) have been together 10yrs. We both have a kid from a prior marriage, his is grown up and mine is 11 and on the autism spectrum. I have bipolar disorder and have been off work 18mths due to it. Hubby recently spent 2yrs living ... View more

So hubby (57) and I (38) have been together 10yrs. We both have a kid from a prior marriage, his is grown up and mine is 11 and on the autism spectrum. I have bipolar disorder and have been off work 18mths due to it. Hubby recently spent 2yrs living interstate for work to support us and during that time our intimacy faded. He got back at New Years and we're now sleeping in separate beds. We've had sex twice which I didn't enjoy because I felt guilty it's been so long. Most nights I'll get a peck kiss goodnight and that's the extent of physical interaction. We'll ask each other how our day was but it's more like housemates. I've just started a nursing degree which will take 4yrs, and during that time there'll be periods I need support for my daughter during placements. Is it bad I'm contemplating staying as housemates at least until my study is done? I also have a car debt and debt agreement that the extra help is useful inn knocking down. I should mention hubby plans to retire in 18mths and then we're just living off my part time wage whilst studying (and I move 80% of my annual super contributions to his account for us to access earlier so it's not like I've been bludging off him). I just think suck it up for 4yrs, get on my get career wise and financially, and then decide. In the meantime I can be in a sexless, loveless, cohabitating relationship....

hello_ Can't make or keep friends - anxiety/depression/dissociative disorder
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone. I'm struggling big time with relationships at the moment in a social, work, and home situation. I lost a lot of friends due to my mental health struggles, and battle to make new ones since my ill-health is currently consuming every part ... View more

Hi everyone. I'm struggling big time with relationships at the moment in a social, work, and home situation. I lost a lot of friends due to my mental health struggles, and battle to make new ones since my ill-health is currently consuming every part of me. Then, if I try and be open about it, I eventually push everyone away or scare them away. How do people deal with this? How can you form any legitimate friendships when you're so unwell - especially with dissociative disorder (a very new diagnosis for me that I'm still trying to figure out) I just want love and support and genuine friends - a support network... It's VERY hard going through all this with only paid psychological support and medication.