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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Queenbee8 Feeling heartbroken and alone
  • replies: 2

My husband has betrayed me and I try to forgive him but he has done so many things to hurt me. I have no one to talk to and I don’t know what to do anymore!

My husband has betrayed me and I try to forgive him but he has done so many things to hurt me. I have no one to talk to and I don’t know what to do anymore!

contrarymary My partner sees my mental health problems as a failing on my part
  • replies: 11

I have been to my GP about my stress and anxiety which is mainly due to health issues I think I have things wrong with me that I don't. E.g. a headache is a brain tumour I tried to explain to my partner that my GP referred me to a pycologist and he w... View more

I have been to my GP about my stress and anxiety which is mainly due to health issues I think I have things wrong with me that I don't. E.g. a headache is a brain tumour I tried to explain to my partner that my GP referred me to a pycologist and he went mad saying it was all in my head, snap out of it, no one he knows is mentally ill. It doesn't help that the subject can't be discussed at home Has anyone overcome this resentment I will go to appointments it will help to speak to someone. It will help me to discuss my issues My partner and I are both in our 60s and grew up overseas when mental health was kept behind closed doors Any advice appreciated

Pureison How do I overcome this?
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I haven't posted in a while and I'm not sure if this is the right place to post my story, please correct me if I'm wrong. I guess the thing I'd like to talk about is how lonely I'm feeling. I don't have a lot of friends to hang out with,... View more

Hi everyone, I haven't posted in a while and I'm not sure if this is the right place to post my story, please correct me if I'm wrong. I guess the thing I'd like to talk about is how lonely I'm feeling. I don't have a lot of friends to hang out with, and the friends I have now all busy with work and studies, (one friend even have kids and another friend I don't want to seem annoying and rely on them all the time) I'm in my late 20s and whenever I see someone get married or is having a baby I feel really sad and lonely. I'm not dating nor have I ever been on a date or had a boyfriend. I am too anxious to go out there and meet someone but I want to be able to have a baby before I'm too old to have one. I'm also scared that since I haven't had much dating experience the first guy I'll date will judge me and will use it as a turn off and be with someone else. I'm also scared because I am worried I'm not right for anyone and that I won't be good enough for them. I'm trying to look for a job that will help me gain more friends but so far no luck in that department either and I've been trying since last year... I've tried tinder and online dating but I get scared whenever they do message about a date... Whenever I see people post on social media, I get sad and lonely as well because everyone looks like they are having a great time with friends and sharing beautiful memories with people they love and I just don't know what to do anymore or how to stop this loneliness feeling because even at family gatherings I feel lonely because I'm the youngest there. I often thought about drinking or getting drunk just to stop this feeling for a while and have a bit of fun but I don't drink too often only with the friends that I have...

Jack2021 Looking for others experiences talking to loved ones about your mental health?
  • replies: 72

Hi guys, I've been a part of these forums for a few days now, but I feel already its making a huge difference in my management and recovery of severe depression, stress and anxiety. Without rambling or going in depth of my own issues which isn't my a... View more

Hi guys, I've been a part of these forums for a few days now, but I feel already its making a huge difference in my management and recovery of severe depression, stress and anxiety. Without rambling or going in depth of my own issues which isn't my aim of this thread I guess, I was wondering what opinions, advice, and/or experience all of you have had in regards to talking to friends, family, and loved ones about your mental health? For me, even though I have suffered from depression about 6 months now, it has been very slow and gradual, however becoming quite severe and debilitating since around Xmas and new years of 2020/2021, lots of feelings of hopelessness, lots of sadness, lots of tears, no suicidal thoughts thankfully, but just a general lack of desire and passion to live life. My parents, 2 close friends, and wonderful girlfriend of 6 months are really the only people who have known about it, though since last week I am trying to get as much help and support as I can from others, with my counselling finally resuming next week, and enrolling myself in a online mental health well being program that is set to start this week hopefully. One of my recent major concerns is with my girlfriend, I have the closest relationship with her than anyone else, and trust her the most, therefore I share a lot of my troubles with her, which I am so worried about, as I don't want it to be pulling her down or worsening her mood, as I have already seen it happen twice the past 2 weeks, when I was dealing with very severe anxiety and depression and breaking down quite a lot, it did affect her wellbeing seeing me like that As a result of this, as much as I'd love her support, I think I'm better off not telling her so much and instead talking to my counsellor and the forums here, as much as It pains me to do so...she is the most wonderful girl and is so supportive and mentally strong, but I can see it is affecting her talking about and trying to help with my issues... Have other people been in similar situations here? I have tried looking for other threads with this sort of topic, but came up with nothing, would love to hear from you guys

Rumnraisin Don’t want to leave my kids behind
  • replies: 7

I wrote a post in Sept last year saying I felt stuck in my toxic relationship. I’ve realised it’s not due to my partner but overwhelming feeling of abandoning my kids 14 & 16. My partner refuses to move out the family home & my psychologist says that... View more

I wrote a post in Sept last year saying I felt stuck in my toxic relationship. I’ve realised it’s not due to my partner but overwhelming feeling of abandoning my kids 14 & 16. My partner refuses to move out the family home & my psychologist says that it would be easier for myself to find a new place to move into given his refusal. My kids would also hold a grudge against me if I kicked their Dad out, he’s the one with most issues & as per my psychologist the kids usually stick with the parent that’s most vulnerable. based on this feeling of losing closeness with my kids I’m having thoughts to stay until the kids move out but so unhappy in my relationship at the same time. I moved out for few months last year snd had hardly any contact with kids & then they started saying comments that I couldn’t have any say in their life, given their Dad has zero boundaries for them I decided it was best for them I move back into the home. has anyone been in similar situation & moved out & how did things go with kids?

K100 Coping after adult son commits serious crime
  • replies: 9

I am new to this forum and I hope there is someone out there who has any suggestions to help me. My adult son has committed serious crimes of a sexual nature and we live in a country town which has been my home for virtually my whole life. My husband... View more

I am new to this forum and I hope there is someone out there who has any suggestions to help me. My adult son has committed serious crimes of a sexual nature and we live in a country town which has been my home for virtually my whole life. My husband and I are absolutely shattered at what he has done. We are retired. He has a wife and three beautiful children who we adore. There is community anger and it is often toward us as his parents even though he has been gone from home over 16 years and we had absolutely no knowledge of what he was doing. His wife and children will have no income or place to live when he goes to prison as she is not an Australian citizen. I am worried sick about them as well as being ostracised and judged by the community. I am not coping with the stress of everything and it has broken our family totally.

Meto76 Lost
  • replies: 2

Hi, Recently my husband of 20years told me he wanted out. I didn’t see this coming, not one bit. I mean hindsight is such a cruel thing, I see now he had left the marriage a couple of months before. I think there is someone else, although in my heart... View more

Hi, Recently my husband of 20years told me he wanted out. I didn’t see this coming, not one bit. I mean hindsight is such a cruel thing, I see now he had left the marriage a couple of months before. I think there is someone else, although in my heart of hearts I don’t think he did more than Snapchat or text them prior to leaving. But since he has left I have looked back and there were red flags. He denies this is the case, but I struggle with the fact the if it not why so many lies? He comes to my house almost everyday since separating, usually to get more things. At first every time he came he was angry and usually at me. Then the last time he asked me why I was “off”, I think he realised later I knew he was lying to me about where he had been. I don’t feel like I want him back, I don’t think it would work now, but I am struggling with the up and down emotions, being constantly nice (for kids) and mainly the lies. He says he hasn’t loved me for a couple of years, but I look back at all the messages and other things and I just can’t see that, reading these it seems a couple of months at the very least. But he has basically told me I am to blame, I think in my heart of hearts I know that there is another person involved, and he is now not the person I was married to. Aldo he seems to want to keep the separation a secret or at least quiet. I don’t understand this either, if you want out why do that? I am so lost and feeling like I will never recover from this. Sometimes I am angry, strong, and other times just completely defeated.

notsureeeeeee I’m confused..
  • replies: 2

I’m new to this whole thing but I thought I’d share my side, I’m too scared to talk to my parents about this because I feel they will not understand. i Recently got in a relationship with a guy I have been talking to and it’s been around 1 month now,... View more

I’m new to this whole thing but I thought I’d share my side, I’m too scared to talk to my parents about this because I feel they will not understand. i Recently got in a relationship with a guy I have been talking to and it’s been around 1 month now, but I’m not sure if I’m losing feelings or what is happening because I don’t seem to want to go out as much or talk as much. He always speaks to me in a couple of worded messages because he doesn’t have many skills in talking to people yet. It really gets to me because I like to have actual conversations and not just him saying someone like “that sucks” or “yes” all the time. I feel like I have no one to speak to.. help! Please

User986532 Breaking generations of men don’t cry stigma
  • replies: 5

Hello , 12 years together and 4 beautiful children my partner finally broke down. I’ve recently been diagnosed with cancer and am undergoing treatment. He has had to juggle home life, work and family and the pressures have finally broken him. Not a m... View more

Hello , 12 years together and 4 beautiful children my partner finally broke down. I’ve recently been diagnosed with cancer and am undergoing treatment. He has had to juggle home life, work and family and the pressures have finally broken him. Not a man for talking about feelings and emotions, he spiralled out on the weekend while I was out with friends and started sending a hurling of abuse via text. I put on my best poker face with the girls and made up an excuse to leave because I told him I’m coming home, we are sorting this out. It all felt to have come out of no where as I had just been with him a few hours prior. With all the children at sleepovers we had planned a take away and tv binge but when I got home he was gone, the panic set in and I checked his location he was at a local reservation. When I pulled up I blocked his car and got into it with him, he had a 4 pack of vodkas and was on can 1 and didn’t say a word or look at me. All I could think was something really bad must have happened as in all our years we have never been disloyal or honest to one another, we exchanged some conversations as I held his hand , he wouldn’t look at me as I sat in the passenger seat. As I told him somethings not right and we need to fix it tears started, i jumped across the middle console and wrapped my arms around him, he completely broke down sobbing and telling me all his fears and angers of how much he hates himself and what he truly feels calling himself a horrible person, partner and father. I held him and we cried together,‘this was all such a powerful and life changing moment. In all our years he had never let it all out like in this moment, but now my next fears seeped in - suicide. Over the next few hours we spoke, walked and I told him say it all without thinking even if it’s hurtful to me - he told me he knew what he was texting me would hurt me and that I was with friends and he didn’t care. These are not the words I would’ve ever expected to hear, he would deliberately hurt me - but i know there’s something so much more deeper and this may just be top level conversation so I told him I forgive him. Since then I have asked him to see the doctor and get some help for his mental well being. He’s not ready and I’m not going to push him but I want to help him because this whole experience has proven to me he needs more in us, does anyone have advice on supporting a male partner who has just discovered it’s ok to feel and share emotions unconditionally?

Hereforsupport confused mother
  • replies: 12

Hi all, New poster here. Short story so to the point. I have a 2 year old son, I'm pregnant with number 2. My husband drinks weekly and its become apart of his routine. He will start early on a Friday afternoon and drink minimum 12 in one sitting. Th... View more

Hi all, New poster here. Short story so to the point. I have a 2 year old son, I'm pregnant with number 2. My husband drinks weekly and its become apart of his routine. He will start early on a Friday afternoon and drink minimum 12 in one sitting. This is every week without fail. He will buy a slab and finish it in that weekend. He is loyal and works. I believe he is also on the spectrum. For example tonight, we had a nice night out and we got home 9PM. He is straight on the beer, his excuse was "its a long weekend". There's always an excuse as to why he drinks. I'm becoming bitter, anti social, boring, unhappy and alone. I can't help it but it's how I am feeling. There is no intimacy since we found out about the baby and that is okay, but there is no kissing or touching. We don't do family day trips or family activities, getting my husband out of the house is a mission. Tonight was a family birthday dinner and he complained the whole day about it being "late" (6PM), he also said he was not going, he went and had a lovely time. We don't often have serious adult conversations as he gets bored fast and sits on his phone or laptop, we had a conversation tonight and it was amazing, I felt like things were good and how they were years ago, that I had my husband back. We get home and straight to the alcohol. I cried in the shower and went to bed alone again, alcohol is ruining my life, the person I married is becoming a monster and he can't see it because what he wants he must have/get. He doesn't care who he hurts along the way and I'm getting bored of it. It's not how I pictured my life and I'm starting to have the regret and I can't do anything about it, I can't move on my own as I have no job & kids, I'm stuck. I guess I am just needing to get it off my chest and some advice?