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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Troy010 Lost love
  • replies: 3

Hi all, i am a new member of this amazimg support group. I suffer badley from depression and sometimes really really bad anxiety,and yes i understand now that alcohol is not what should be going into my body. I have been with my wife for 31 years and... View more

Hi all, i am a new member of this amazimg support group. I suffer badley from depression and sometimes really really bad anxiety,and yes i understand now that alcohol is not what should be going into my body. I have been with my wife for 31 years and married for 16 years,and have two great adult kids. As everyone , 2020 was not the best year with my dad passing and having To leave a job after 10 years,leaving some very special friends/workmates. My wife and i have both been drinkers all of our lives (both from about 14 ) but the last 12 years have been the worst were we basically are/where i major alchohlics for the last 12 years. I have attempted to stop a few times over the past 2 years, 8 months in 2019 and the again for 2 months at the negining of 2020 , to now,where i hate alcohol so much i KNOW i will never drink it again. And i am Now being sober again for 5 monthes, i wanted my wife to do th e same but she just doesnot want to stop drinking. Our last 4 or 5 years have not been the greatest due to alcohol and the nasty nasty demonds it brings When way too much has been consumed. The longer i dont drink,the more i think which is not good,and i know have come to a very hard situuation. I no longer have the love for my wife that i have held so highly for so long,and this i causing a lot of distress with me,where i am now thinking about doing things to myself which i know are wrong,because to me it seems easier than what i now have to do, i know that just makes no sense,im struggling with it as well. There is a bigger back story to my marraige with my with being mentally abusive towards me for a few years , but only because of alcohol, but it still doesnt excuse some of the terriable, hurtful,and so downgrading coments my wife use to direct at me,until it came to a head last year. The deal was we both stop drinking and reset...relove...and go again...but it seems a road im travelling on my own. I can feel im different, i no longer want to be married, i no longer want to give what love i have left just beacuse its whats expected. I do have appointments with my gp today because i really feel im going to do something so stupid if i dont sort this, and myself out. Am i selfish,,am i doing this wrong,,should i be ashamed i can't / don't want to be married anymore. I hope all the above makes a bit of sense and i thankyou for reading my issues.

GingerMan505 Building communication strategies with my partner
  • replies: 20

Hi all, First time poster here ‍. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life, stemming from physical abuse as a child, and this has manifested itself in relationship issues. Over the last 6 months I have been seeing a psycholog... View more

Hi all, First time poster here 🙋🏼‍. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for most of my life, stemming from physical abuse as a child, and this has manifested itself in relationship issues. Over the last 6 months I have been seeing a psychologist to help me overcome these issues, but 2 months ago I had a breakdown and broke up with my partner, who I have been with for the past 2 years. It was a huge wakeup call for me that I need to really double down on my efforts to overcome these crippling demons and I've added things like practicing mindfulness and journalling into my daily routine. My (now former) partner is incredibly understanding and supportive and we have agreed to once a week catch ups to see if she's willing to try again (I certainly am), but a huge thing for her is to build an effective communication strategy so as I don't bottle things up in future and we end up in the same place again where I just flip and call things off. My question is, has anyone got any particular strategies they use to openly and honestly communicate with their partner to help them? I'm really determined to beat this and be with the woman I love so now matter how left-field you think a suggestion may be, I'm keen to hear it. I'm just trying to find out how we can stay strong in the future. Thank you

LostSoul01 Lost and confused with my BF
  • replies: 4

First time writing here or any place like this.. can’t really ask for advice from family and friends.. so here it goes.. I’m not sure... recently my BF & I had VC. He was at his bosses place and they’ve had a few drinks. While he was on the phone he ... View more

First time writing here or any place like this.. can’t really ask for advice from family and friends.. so here it goes.. I’m not sure... recently my BF & I had VC. He was at his bosses place and they’ve had a few drinks. While he was on the phone he had left his room and returned with his boss (he says they are close) and he has been living with him for a few months. He is moving out so was showing his boss how empty the room was and that he had packed all his stuff. before you knew it his boss tackled him onto the bed and they were carrying on like little kids, on top of each other 🤷🏽‍all the while I was still on video chat and could see and hear everything. I kept quiet until I saw my BF end up on top of his boss.. his boss said a comment “can’t feel anything” to which my BF said “it’s not in yet” I piped and said WTH are you doing? He responds sleeping on my boss.. they were both drunk & I hung up. He called and I didn’t as wet and sent a message saying him and his boss were just playing around and they’re relationship is brother to the brother. im now at loss as to whether my so called BF maybe gay/bi? Or am I jumping to conclusions because of what I saw unfold and cannot unsee it? he keeps saying no he isn’t gay or likes boys etc but I’m not sure if that’s entirely true or if it’s just me now putting up my walls? I can’t also talk to him about when he’s sober because it turns into an argument with myself being made the blame

MummaPetal Separated and need to move out
  • replies: 1

Hello, I've made the heartbreaking decision to leave my husband after 14 years of marriage. I have had enough of being gaslighted and feeling physically and emotionally neglected in the marriage. Couples counselling did not work for us because he was... View more

Hello, I've made the heartbreaking decision to leave my husband after 14 years of marriage. I have had enough of being gaslighted and feeling physically and emotionally neglected in the marriage. Couples counselling did not work for us because he wasn't honest and deflected his issues my way. I've had individual counselling and was told that my husband may have Avoidant Personality Disorder. My physical health is suffering from the strain of living with him. I've told him my intentions to leave. He acts dejected but does not make any attempts to save the relationship. I don't want it to be saved. I want to move on and learn to be happy again. I'm wanting to move out but I have no regular income. Rental applications ask for income details and I only have savings. I don't think I'm eligible for any benefits. I've been a stay at home mum. I've enrolled to do some industry refresher courses in the hope to secure some part time work. I'm not comfortable living at home because my husband is unpredictable. I don't think he would hurt me physically but it's very hard not feeling heard where I am now. I don't know where to go or what to do. I have family but they're unable to have me stay for a while. Thanks. Mumma Petal

Missy580 Help
  • replies: 27

Hi guys, I need some advice. My ex and I were together for a year and a half and broke up 5 months ago. The connection we had together started to fade and I found that the person he was at the beginning of the relationship also started to fade. When ... View more

Hi guys, I need some advice. My ex and I were together for a year and a half and broke up 5 months ago. The connection we had together started to fade and I found that the person he was at the beginning of the relationship also started to fade. When the relationship came to a end we both accepted that the timing wasn’t right for us. In the last 5 months he has frequently contacted me with the “ I miss you” and “ can we talk”. Out of the numerous times, I have each time given him the chance to talk to me and meet up with him. Recently he asked to meet and we both decided to take things slow and see how it goes before getting back together. Then the next day he suddenly changed his mind saying his “confused”. I have been dealing with him coming in and out of my life and getting my hopes up each time. I know this isn’t good for me but why can’t I let go? how can his mind change so suddenly overnight?

Ty95 Girlfriend cheated with best mate of 10yrs
  • replies: 5

Hi guys I’m a 24 year old male. ill keep this as short as possible. I just found out couple days after New Years that my girlfriend cheated on me for my best friend on several occasions. i can’t understand how people that are suppose to be your most ... View more

Hi guys I’m a 24 year old male. ill keep this as short as possible. I just found out couple days after New Years that my girlfriend cheated on me for my best friend on several occasions. i can’t understand how people that are suppose to be your most loved and trusted ones can do that behind your back and still be so comfortable hanging out on the daily. I am a nice guy and without sounding up myself decent looking. I went through serious depression over my ex who cheated on me years ago but this time I haven’t felt bad at all. Ive just felt a bit angry and betrayed but cutting my best mate out of my life who was like a brother to me for half my life has been so easy. I don’t know if I’m just numb or if my brain is doing it’s thing to protect itself. After that bad depression a few years ago. I’m not sure if it’s healthy to not feel and I hope someone can relate or shed a bit of light for me. Life can be so rough sometimes and bad things definitely happen to good people but don’t let that change you. thanks guys.

Hot_Mess What should I do?!?
  • replies: 2

Hi, I really need some advise and help on what I should do. I have been married for 18 years and we have 3 daughters together ranging from 13 to 20. The oldest moved out 2 years ago, so we only have 2 at home. I have suffered from depression and anxi... View more

Hi, I really need some advise and help on what I should do. I have been married for 18 years and we have 3 daughters together ranging from 13 to 20. The oldest moved out 2 years ago, so we only have 2 at home. I have suffered from depression and anxiety for majority of our marriage. I also suffer from severe chronic sciatica due to a back injury. We have been having the same issues for over 10 years which causes many arguments. The main issue being that we have never been a team with raising the girls, I am too hard and he is too soft. I have always admitted this fault in myself and begged him to work together to find a middle ground, but he never has. Instead we have no rules, no structure, and majority of the time I am left ignored by the children when asked to do things like that I know normal family expect of there own children. As a result I do get angry and I do yell, I’m the first to admit that this is wrong but after 10+ plus years of trying to make my family work I have had enough. My husband gets angry with me which I deserve but he insults me all the time and has also allowed our middle daughter to get involved in our arguments and also insult me too. I honestly get told off more than the children do and about the same things he lets them get away with. All this happens in front of the children The things that have been said too me are horrible. Things like your mental, psycho, no wonder your father hit you, no wonder your father tried to kill himself. He tells me that I make people not love me and after a recent argument he even looked me outside while I had a smoke and said stay outside you dog. When we make up and I explain to him why I’m so angry time and time again he tells me he’s trying his best and when I ask why he insults me he says because you make me angry. He makes me feel like I deserve it and that I’m worthless. what should I do I’m a mess? (Sorry for the long post, I needed to tell the full story)

DawnS I just need someone to talk to
  • replies: 6

Okay, my story isn’t as tragic or traumatic as some of the other people here’s, but yesterday my mother (48F) and I (12F) called the non-emergency line in our state to get an ambulance to come pick her up. She had really bad swelling on one side of h... View more

Okay, my story isn’t as tragic or traumatic as some of the other people here’s, but yesterday my mother (48F) and I (12F) called the non-emergency line in our state to get an ambulance to come pick her up. She had really bad swelling on one side of her face, (her eye was swollen shut) and a cracking headache coupled with a ~38 degree fever (100.4 for Americans). She took all the headache tablets and fever tablets and cold-and-flu tablets that she could safely, but after about a day of this, she started throwing up whenever she tried to take another tablet. This had been going on since the afternoon we drove home from Brisbane (we drove home Friday, she had a sore neck Friday evening, Saturday she woke up with a bad headache and a really stiff neck, and Sunday the neck stiffness was gone but the swelling was really bad and so was the headache and fever). Once the ambulance got us to hospital, Mum was admitted into a temporary ward. The doctors, after administering a CT scan, diagnosed it as a skin Staph Infection (Cellulitis). We would have driven ourselves but due to a cataract years ago she can only really see out of one eye, and the swelling shut her good eye. She also couldn’t get her glasses on her face with the amount of swelling anyways. Later on yesterday afternoon (Sunday, and roughly 11pm), they transferred her into a proper ward so she was out of the emergency room. I was picked up by my aunt who then took me home, and I slept over at her place. I’m going home later this afternoon, but I’ll be home completely alone (It’s fine I’m a pretty responsible kid). I just got a text from Mum saying she’ll still be there for a few more days... which will probably include Christmas Day itself. I just really don’t know how to feel- I feel so alone already- I can’t even connect with any of my friends over anything- me and my BFF normally talk over email but she hasn’t responded to a single email since Friday... please... I just want someone to talk to.

StaticGhost I can't cope while my boyfriend is away.
  • replies: 1

I have severe separation anxiety with my boyfriend, whenever he has to leave me, I get extremely depressed. After finding out he is leaving I immediately start to breakdown. I begin screaming my lungs out and crying uncontrollably. This continues on ... View more

I have severe separation anxiety with my boyfriend, whenever he has to leave me, I get extremely depressed. After finding out he is leaving I immediately start to breakdown. I begin screaming my lungs out and crying uncontrollably. This continues on for an extremely long time. Ever since I was little I've always sort of clung to people, I would cling to my friends at school, my parents, my sisters, and now with my boyfriend. I have a huge fear of abandonment and have been abandoned in the past by one of my friends, this is what triggered my fear and depression. I can't live like this anymore, I feel like this is putting a strain on my relationship with my boyfriend. I love my boyfriend so much but right now, he is the only person I feel comfortable around and that just feels wrong. I never spend time with anyone else because I only want to be around him. It's like I have an obsession with him. Things can't go on like this.

ineedmyfamily i feel like i cant cope i need serious help
  • replies: 1

i dont even know where to begin i have had negative from my partner who is in family court with her ex partner. we got together as a couple almost immidiatly and i know it has made him try and distrupt our lives through munipulation and family court.... View more

i dont even know where to begin i have had negative from my partner who is in family court with her ex partner. we got together as a couple almost immidiatly and i know it has made him try and distrupt our lives through munipulation and family court. we have just had an absolutly beautiful baby girl absolultly fills my heart. Today my partner was forced to sign a bind restricting me from talking to my partners kids at all who are 7 and 10 both girls. the only time i can see my daughter is every second friday night cause my partners ex refuses to want anymore time hense to keep my partner from fines she cant afford and be charged with contempt of court i will be homeless. i feel like im going to lose that time she wil forget who her dad is