Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

MO2TG How to stop thinking about Ex and new partner
  • replies: 4

Hi We had aLong marriage He went through a crisis...identity, hated his life, traumatic event with our child. He changed into a person that emotionally and physically withdrew. He left after months of being emotionally and verbally abusive. Heavy dri... View more

Hi We had aLong marriage He went through a crisis...identity, hated his life, traumatic event with our child. He changed into a person that emotionally and physically withdrew. He left after months of being emotionally and verbally abusive. Heavy drinking. I was blidsided by the whole thing. Family man to hating his life. I thought it was work stress . He left. The issue i have is he kept coming back. Stringing me along. Making me think we had a future again. Then he would always leave suddenly. 6 weeks a week a few days. He moved away an hour we were never allowed to know his address. Kids asked, never told. Never invited. He talked about his most recent sharing arrangements...land lady back last July. He came home twice in this time. I always asked if something was going on. He denied it. He talked about and her sons. Always doing stuff for them fixing stuff . Being mates with her grown sons. Still allowed to know where they lived. Its only now that I I gave up our relationship in late Jan when he left us on holidays after 2 days that I found out from others that he has been introducing her to family. I called him on it and he said it was only new, however this had been heading to relationship mode for awhile as they went out, hung out shared their life stories I can see how easily and naturally it happened for them. I feel betrayed and led on.I'm angry wounded and stuck. They are doing the stuff we planned He has a brand new life, does not help other than flits in and out for 2 teenage girls, and some financial support. He confirmed relationship by text when pressured. Even sent his daughters text. How am I supposed to get past this. It opened old wounds ones that were healing. I thought we were in a good place as exes, but now realise there was no honest communication. Im trying not to be bitter. Advice appreciated

PeteyBoPetey Why Does My Father Sabotage Me?
  • replies: 3

Hi Guys, Most of my life I've worked at least 60 hours or more per week and with the money I made I purchased Investment properties. By the time I was 35 I had properties worth $1.2 million with a $200,000 mortgage. I was about to inherit $200,000 fr... View more

Hi Guys, Most of my life I've worked at least 60 hours or more per week and with the money I made I purchased Investment properties. By the time I was 35 I had properties worth $1.2 million with a $200,000 mortgage. I was about to inherit $200,000 from my father. I told him I planned to use it to discharge my mortgage, then approach the bank to borrow another $1 million to buy a house in Sydney and use the rental income from the investment properties to service the mortgage on the Sydney property. My father laughs at me "Hahaha you think you're a capitalist". He withheld the $200,000 and my wife was mad that we hadn't moved to Sydney, so she left me. When my wife left, she took out an ADVO which cost me my firearms licence which I need for work. I had no cash, and no income. I wanted to go to court and get my firearms licence back. Instead of helping me, he did everything he could to stop me getting my firearms licence back. I borrowed money, went to court and won. Having to deal with this was hard enough without my father handicapping me. Whilst this was going on, I had to represent myself in family court because I had no income. My father gave each of his daughters $200,000 that they wasted on holidays and new cars. He could have helped pay for a family lawyer, but refused to. "Your gonna lose a house". It was like he wanted me to lose in family court, and I did; big time. "I told you you'd lose a house" It's like he's constantly wishing the worst for me and doing what he can to destroy me. It's bad enough that I have to cope with the dissolution of my marriage, losing $700,000 of the $1 million I accrued over 28 years to a 4 years marriage, the loss of a career, I now have to cope and try to understand my father refuses to support me and worst, feels the need to sabotage me. Why does he do it?. He gives money hand over fist to other members of the family. I plan to use any future inheritance to buy land that has future subdivision potential for my retirement and live on it with a relocatable home. He's just told me that I can't manage money and he's going to put it into a trust fund for my kids. This is just another move to keep me in poverty. I'm going to be 65 and substantially poorer than other family members even though I've worked three times harder and invested wisely.

Chica56 Alcoholic partner verbally and emotionally abusive
  • replies: 4

I’ve been with my partner for 22 years and he’s been a high functioning alcoholic for around 12 years. He has drinking binges but continues to work in a high profile job although he’s now slowed down a lot. The last few years have been hell with him ... View more

I’ve been with my partner for 22 years and he’s been a high functioning alcoholic for around 12 years. He has drinking binges but continues to work in a high profile job although he’s now slowed down a lot. The last few years have been hell with him saying he’s going to quit, having a few months and now only days of sobriety and then sabotaging everything with his verbal and mental abuse. We have now kids but he has 3 still very dependant on his income and living arrangements and work. The most recent fallout is particularly nasty with him sending such nasty, vile messages to me repeatedly and won’t actually talk to me. He escapes to his place where his adult kids live and drinks and blames me for everything. When he’s with me he’s pretty good and doesn’t drink. We have a fun and loving relationship usually until he goes up there and it all goes down hill. I’ll usually wake up to a nasty message that escalates over days until he apologises, says he’ll get help or go to AA but never does. We used to have a great social life and had lots of great parties but now no one visits. It’s hard to make plans because of these fights. I usually end up going places on my own. I’m trying to sell our house which has been difficult because it’s all up to me with no help from him. When we get close to a sale he’ll work really hard to win me over and I stupidly give in because I love him and want the man I fell in love with to come back. He convinces me he’ll help but never does. But when is enough enough? Any advice would be really helpful. Thanks in advance

cjmc new to estranged...
  • replies: 5

Hi, Im new to being outed and I've just joined BB to look for help and support from others. My daughter had her first baby 4 months ago and it's my second visit. She was uncomfortable around me when I arrived which was confusing, then I received the ... View more

Hi, Im new to being outed and I've just joined BB to look for help and support from others. My daughter had her first baby 4 months ago and it's my second visit. She was uncomfortable around me when I arrived which was confusing, then I received the message days later that broke me. A verbal attack and she is going no contact with me. She is 34 and I am 59. I am grateful that my son is good with me but this rocks a family. I have already almost freed myself from a narcissist mother who damaged this family and now I feel like I'm in the middle of total unrest. I will go back to qld earlier with the feeling that I won't be back to Vic for a long time, hence not seeing my first granddaughter. Sometimes I wish there was a rule book for life. thanks

Mr__Irrational Lost my morals
  • replies: 11

I was raised in a "normal family". Parents married and sibling Was raised to respect wemon, never cheat, be a family man, honour wedding vows...and never leave. My last 2 relationships (8yrs and 3yrs) and 3 children failed. I was quite unwell with PT... View more

I was raised in a "normal family". Parents married and sibling Was raised to respect wemon, never cheat, be a family man, honour wedding vows...and never leave. My last 2 relationships (8yrs and 3yrs) and 3 children failed. I was quite unwell with PTSD and untreated for a long time. My wife leaving early last year really broke me, I was always faithful and loved her, only had eyes for her. But something has changed in me, now that I realise those values and morals I was raised with don't mean anything, wedding vows and commitment don't mean anything....I have completely changed as a person. I didn't date or see anyone for 7 months after she left...but now I have dated so many wemon in the last 5 months (seeing one for 3 months) but I've lost that respect for them I've always had. I have slept with so many in such a short period of time, I don't care if I upset them, I haven't cheated "technically", I break up with them, go see another, then go back to them. I feel disgusting but at the same time I don't care. I don't trust them and expect it to fail...so I just bounce from one to the other. Loneliness kills me, but these short relationships are also very damaging. I don't believe I'm a sex addict...but something internally has changed and I've become to opposite of what I was raised to be. I dunno the purpose of this post, maybe just need write down what I'm internalising. Thanks for reading

AB10 My partner won’t stop lying to me
  • replies: 7

I’ve been with my partner for just over 4 years and during that time he has lied to me alot! I often catch him out in a lie and he’ll continue to deny it to my face. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I just caught him in another lie today. He’s ... View more

I’ve been with my partner for just over 4 years and during that time he has lied to me alot! I often catch him out in a lie and he’ll continue to deny it to my face. It makes me feel like I’m going crazy. I just caught him in another lie today. He’s been taking tablets behind my back, which he admitted to in the past after I found them in his bag. Even when I had the evidence in my hand and googled what they were he tried to tell me it was something else. I told him if there’s an issue he can tell me and there will be no judgements. I offered my support. After talking through it he admitted to it and said he wouldn’t take them again and if there is an issue again he’ll tell me. Well today I just saw the evidence left on his lip where he’s obviously bitten the tablet off. It was right there and he of course denied it. He got very aggressive and was yelling at me saying some very nasty things. He was grabbing me and telling me I had to leave because I told him it was over and I couldn’t do this anymore. He then started to tell me I’m imagining seeing the tablet on his lip and said there was nothing there. I feel like I’m losing my mind, but I know I didn’t imagine it. He won’t stop lying. It’s a compulsion. He even admitted to me once that he is a compulsive liar. So why won’t he come clean now? I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep supporting someone that’s lying to me and not willing to change. I have 2 children, which aren’t his, and we all live together (my children were not home when this was going on). I’m not in the financial position to leave as rent is very expensive where I live and I’m not working at the moment. He works and is the main source of income. I feel so lost and confused.

theaussiedude Need advice, heart broken
  • replies: 26

My ex broke up with me, we had the most respectful, caring, supportive, kind relationship, we both said we are perfect together in so many ways, we had qualities that are so hard to find in someone, had so many things in common, the feeling of being ... View more

My ex broke up with me, we had the most respectful, caring, supportive, kind relationship, we both said we are perfect together in so many ways, we had qualities that are so hard to find in someone, had so many things in common, the feeling of being safe in each other presence, two of the nicest people ever who generally cared about everyone. And she broke it off because I was taking too long to open up and let her in. I have a letter, I express myself better in words than verbally and I am not sure if it's the right thing to send. I'd like to get some advice if its a good or bad idea? It's just been a really tough few weeks, I lost the love of my life, my dad's cancer is getting worse and my mum finds out next week if she has motor neuron disease. I'm no spring chicken, I live with my mum at the moment caring for her as she has a disability when I get home from work, and it's all becoming a bit too much. It's hard to work, I'm trying so hard to be a role model to all my students, and I on the verge of just crying in class

rb26 Friends and Exes
  • replies: 2

So I have this friend who is CONSTANTLY flirting with my ex, and we just broke up in January. She never asked me if I was doing well after the breakup and never spoke about her feelings towards him. I used to consider her one of my best friends but t... View more

So I have this friend who is CONSTANTLY flirting with my ex, and we just broke up in January. She never asked me if I was doing well after the breakup and never spoke about her feelings towards him. I used to consider her one of my best friends but this is super confusing and new things I’ve found out about her have made me realise she’s not the best person. What do I do? I don’t know how to cut her off.

Mrtidytagle This sounds crappy
  • replies: 2

So where do I begin. So I’ve not suffered anything major but it’s more just petty crap that sounds stupid. (Tbh I have so much to tell you it’s unreal) first we have Amy friend group cutting me off entirely which they haven’t come to me on what I’ve ... View more

So where do I begin. So I’ve not suffered anything major but it’s more just petty crap that sounds stupid. (Tbh I have so much to tell you it’s unreal) first we have Amy friend group cutting me off entirely which they haven’t come to me on what I’ve done wrong it’s frustrating it’s long too it started with like not inviting to not talking on text calls secret group chats like I’ve been cut off and it makes me feel like I’ve don’t somthing wrong and I’m a crap person and Ik yoj could say I’m not and all but woof I’m stuck between am I a bad person or are people just rude to me or a bit of both. And there is this dude who is just existing and like constantly a flirt but idk if it’s all in my head like ahhh I’m just struggle streetin with my emotions right now and needing to just like do things exist or distract myself with guys or idk it’s long and oh I know what I’m doing I’m too afraid to share so I avoid it also there is so much to share like a lot. Idk I just feel a bit alone and frustrated at tv and frustrated at everyone because the world doesn’t revolve around me yeah ik how selfish of me I just wanna feel main character vibes. And have the tv show dream and it’s not workin out ahhh see ya and sorry I’m a bit confusing

Roger_Waters Should I tell her or not?!
  • replies: 3

think my life as husband and ever-present father is about to be over. last week I got severly drunk At a work party. Can not remember when I last was that drunk. Very sketchy memory, ended up in a brothel and went ahead. Was using protection of cours... View more

think my life as husband and ever-present father is about to be over. last week I got severly drunk At a work party. Can not remember when I last was that drunk. Very sketchy memory, ended up in a brothel and went ahead. Was using protection of course but of course you can't ever know. Still not told my wife. Got a beautiful wife and 2 great kids. Quick background: Bipolar 2, Treatment resistant depression, SUD, my father and brother exited life by own hand. I know what the right thing to do would be and it really hurts every minute thinking of what I've caused. I even went to bed with my wife the day after. Anyway I drown my emotions until I get my std results next week. Or should I just tell her now?? She would divorce me for sure.