Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

All discussions

Start a discussion

SingleMum123 Struggling with full-time work and single parenthood
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone, I recently started a full-time job after being a stay at home mum for a long time. My partner and I separated earlier this year. These are the first school holidays I've had to not spend as much time with my child. It's been harder than ... View more

Hi everyone, I recently started a full-time job after being a stay at home mum for a long time. My partner and I separated earlier this year. These are the first school holidays I've had to not spend as much time with my child. It's been harder than I imagined. I started this job in a lockdown and have been working at home. It's been good for bring close to the school for after school care drop off and pick ups but it has been isolating not seeing my office or my co-workers in person. I feel so guilty not having the time with my child even though I have quality time with her before and after work. Everything feels so busy and I feel pulled in every direction. My ex partner is not very supportive and gets me to arrange everything. I feel like I can't talk to my family. I honestly just want a hug. I'm finding my job difficult and I'm not in a position where I can just give it up. I don't know how I'm going with it performance wide because of the work situation. I haven't met my boss. I feel like crying. Right now, I don't know if things will always feel this hard or I'd things will improve. Thanks.

Rac_ Never will fit in with my Partner’s family
  • replies: 2

I go through stages of being ok with the situation and then on occasions when we go to family events, it rehashes everything for me and I feel intimidated, angry and stressed. I love my partner dearly but I don’t really ‘fit in’ or feel included in h... View more

I go through stages of being ok with the situation and then on occasions when we go to family events, it rehashes everything for me and I feel intimidated, angry and stressed. I love my partner dearly but I don’t really ‘fit in’ or feel included in his family, certain family members disliked me from the get go. how does everyone else deal with family issues?

Maryblue advice on new relationship
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone I'm feeling anxious about a 10m relationship that I am in and i'd love some advice. They are a wonderful partner, caring; kind and solid as a rock, and I am extremely happy and we have so much joy together. We agree on so many issues, but... View more

Hi everyone I'm feeling anxious about a 10m relationship that I am in and i'd love some advice. They are a wonderful partner, caring; kind and solid as a rock, and I am extremely happy and we have so much joy together. We agree on so many issues, but we have also come up with some ethical differences that we have found. They believe in abortion however I do not, but they would support me in my choice to keep the child and have committed to be there through it all. They believe they would choose to abort a child for having a suffering medical condition, however I would not do this; although it's important to note that both of us have compassionate reasons for our choices. This makes me concerned about our different world views and how we would navigate it. It's also stressful because I am so happy with this person; and I know that no-one is perfect. I would like someone that im on the same page with on this issue, but I also am very much in love the person i'm with and I know that there are always differences in relationships. I also know that we are talking about hypothetical situations that may never even occur. So i'm seeking advice on whether this is in the range of 'normal/navigatable differences' in a relationship' or is this something I should take strongly into consideration when thinking about the future?

Baffi Hi i am new and just got out of mental abuse relationship
  • replies: 10

Hello everybody I feel very lucky to have found this forum. Hopefully i can get some advice here and help some members too. About me, 50 years, 2 kids, single mum, healthcare professional. I met 1 1/2 years ago, which i thought at that time, a lovely... View more

Hello everybody I feel very lucky to have found this forum. Hopefully i can get some advice here and help some members too. About me, 50 years, 2 kids, single mum, healthcare professional. I met 1 1/2 years ago, which i thought at that time, a lovely foreign guy, who is younger than me. We fell in love, he was the most caring and sweetest soul. Until the 1st lie showed up. He was actually married, according to him, marriage was broken down and he had a small child. He was just waiting for his papers in agreement with his wife and to get in the future divorced. Slowly he became more controlling “where have you been?” and asking for screenshots when i was going out. Which kind of annoyed me, but idiot me, thought no harm done in sending them. Then everything became worse and worse. He would literally make up stories about me in his mind. He got jealous about Gardeners, ex husband, coles click and collect guy and my workmate, lets’s call him Aaron. Aaron is in a relationship and i am not attracted to him at all. But he would not stop. In between he would say sorry and being sweet again. And i would fall over and over in his trap, believing that finally he understood that i am loyal to him and that i love only him. We would spend the weekend together, all perfect. After that, silent treatment. Which confused me. In 1/2 years i have heard it all. From name calling, over suspicious brusing on my body. We would fight, break up and be together again. This story went on and on. I started to cry at work, he would constantly ring me at work , video calls! He would never stop. He was paranoid on my bday about Aaron so he didnt come. He said sorry later and brought gifts. I was so hurt. Still am. Who does that?! He also had claimed that he had put cameras in my house. He would sms that he is watching the footage and i had a guy in the house, and go mental at me. I would go more mental because i knew he lied because noone was in my house. We had a bad fight recently i drove to meet him, we talked and all was good. Just to receive later a message, something like “ thank you for all, i will never meet you again. I replied the same and added that i would rather be dead than going through this nonsense on a daily basis. I feel just so broken. I almost had a mental break down at work, i am still crying a lot. I feel so broken beyond repair. I wonder how i could give him my heart and he had nothing else in the mind to destroy me and to do a character assassination.

sav8331 I am in need of advice and help
  • replies: 10

Hello i am new here and not really sure what to write, my wife has left me and i have all these feels and not sure how to deal with them. i have spoken to lots of people and professionals and the biggest thing that they have said is that i criticize ... View more

Hello i am new here and not really sure what to write, my wife has left me and i have all these feels and not sure how to deal with them. i have spoken to lots of people and professionals and the biggest thing that they have said is that i criticize myself and blame myself for everything. does anyone know how to keep the thought out of my head that its all my fault?

Timbo118 Help for a mate.
  • replies: 1

Hi Dr Kim, I have a very dear friend who has recently had a two year relationship ended and it seems to have been the catalyst for some worrying behaviour. The woman he was in a relationship with is a very old friend of my partner (we have been toget... View more

Hi Dr Kim, I have a very dear friend who has recently had a two year relationship ended and it seems to have been the catalyst for some worrying behaviour. The woman he was in a relationship with is a very old friend of my partner (we have been together for over four years after both losing our marriages years ago) and they met through us. His marriage ended after his wife had an extramarital affair about 4 years ago which hit him very hard. They have three children and he has supported them all and had full custody of the youngest, who is now a 17yo girl, for the entire time. I suspect that he has never properly dealt with his marriage breakup and this latest relationship breakup is the straw that broke the camel's back. He was very committed to this relationship but the woman made it abundantly clear that she was only interested in a one day per week thing and that there was no chance of any more. He is an emotional Irishman who puts everything into a relationship but despite the above was devastated when she ended it. He seems to have become very needy, constantly looking for sympathy, incessantly speaking of his resentment and contempt for her and taking on the opinions of anyone who will listen and give him advice then exaggerating or deliberately misquoting their words to sway other's opinions and generate more sympathy. I have been his best friend for about 16 years and along with my partner and another couple, we are his only really close friends. Unfortunately for him, we are a pragmatic group who have been supporting him through this. However, he has now crossed a line and is attempting to manipulate my partner in a brazen attempt to sway her support away from her dear friend and drive a wedge between this group and his ex partner. We have made it clear to him that he needs to get over his ex and move on with his life. We have had enough but simultaneously we are concerned for his mental health. We socialise extensively with this group and have several trips away planned over the next month but his behaviour is troubling and our patience running out. I had a very frank exchange with him last week and he seems to have improved but then, after a dinner party last night, he communicated in a positive way with me but sent a very needy and depressed message to my partner. What can we do to help ?

Gemma_C Depression in a relationship.
  • replies: 1

Hi all, Me and my partner have been dating for 7 months, I suffer from a few mental health problems (which he knows about). Last year I had severe tonsillitis which turned into Quinsy (2 day hospital stay), then I was on & off sick for months until 2... View more

Hi all, Me and my partner have been dating for 7 months, I suffer from a few mental health problems (which he knows about). Last year I had severe tonsillitis which turned into Quinsy (2 day hospital stay), then I was on & off sick for months until 2 months ago I had a hospital stay with suspected Atypical Pneumonia as my oxygen levels were dropping to 77%. So I've been sick for awhile, on and off and its been getting in the way of us saving for a house which makes me feel sad because i have to have time off work when i'm sick (i am a casual). I have multiple dr visits, hospital visits, blood tests, needles, antibiotics, scans over the last year its astounding considering i am 22yrs old (Female). So i am sick again, with suspected blood clot and don't go back to work until the 12th July, my depression is hitting hard again, I have turned off sex, become semi distant and extremely sensitive towards anything my partner says and does, i feel terrible... i talked to him about this but i feel like he is sick of hearing about it and isn't always the best with being emotionally comforting sometimes. I feel like he doesn't understand, he says stuff like "do you hate me?" or "don't you like our relationship" or "I feel like you're not happy with anything i do". It's not true and i've told him this... i have hit another rough spot where we argue or just don't get along for a while. Sometimes i even feel like its gonna break us apart and we are gonna just split up. Another thing is i feel disgusting overall, health wise, looks wise. I take a mood stabilizer every night but am inconsistent with my antidepressant which doesn't help. Advice? Because this girl is emotionally, mentally and DEFINETLY physically EXHAUSTED!

MissPink13 Desperately needing help!
  • replies: 18

My partner and I have endured a whirl wind of a relationship. I have been to see a psychologist who has advised I am seemingly ok! My partner on the other hand is not at all in my opinion but won’t seek the help he needs. I have begged and pleaded. O... View more

My partner and I have endured a whirl wind of a relationship. I have been to see a psychologist who has advised I am seemingly ok! My partner on the other hand is not at all in my opinion but won’t seek the help he needs. I have begged and pleaded. On a good day this man is amazing, we have a 5 month old baby now and he is a brilliant Dad. He is kind and caring, he does anything for anyone at the drop of a hat. My partner has a very insecure other side, a completely different persona to say the least. He can be cruel and evil, his words are horrendous. He accuses me of cheating almost daily with every single man alive. He wants constant reassurance. I’m busy with two children, I can’t always be at his beck and call. We stay on the phone all day long, we spend every waking moment together when he is off of work but if I offend him in the slightest, he goes on a tangent. He breaks up with me, he calls me horrible names and he is just the worst person in the world. I wonder if he has bipolar, Borderline, I have no idea. I have researched a million possibilities and I try to approach with caution. I’m not a psychologist at all, I just try all avenues to see if any other form of communication will help him in fits of rage. I am desperate and cannot take anymore. Currently I have just cut communication. He is blowing up my phone, texts, calls and emails suggesting I’m a terrible person. I’m not, I’m truly not. I have never cheated, not even slightly. I stay home all day with our baby and clean and cook and just wait for this man who I truly love to no end. I just need help in trying to understand what I am dealing with. Does he have a disorder or is he just nasty, controlling, a horrible person deep down. Any help, any advice is so very much appreciated!

aza_aaaa Newbie, started this account when mental health was decling
  • replies: 3

Hey I'm Aza (nickname not real name) and I'm a high school student who is struggling with my mental health right now. There are multiple reasons why but the most impacting reason is... well let me explain. Both my mum and I are very sensitive. When I... View more

Hey I'm Aza (nickname not real name) and I'm a high school student who is struggling with my mental health right now. There are multiple reasons why but the most impacting reason is... well let me explain. Both my mum and I are very sensitive. When I accidentally do something to upset her, I feel like I've failed... something. Don't get me wrong, I love my mum, she's an amazing person. But she gets over-the-top when she gets mad, so I get extremely upset and start thinking thoughts like, 'Why was I born?', 'My mum would have a better life without me.' and 'If I was gone, they will move on, right?' I know I should book a therapist, but talking to my mum about this situation could go wrong and end up with both of us sobbing. The fact is, I don't want to displease my mum. She doesn't punish me or anything, but I just feel overwhelming guilt.

white knight Your lost child forever in your heart
  • replies: 2

Whatever estranged situation you endure with your blood child the pain is lifelong. I have two daughters 32 and 28yo. The older one I'm close to, the younger one I'm estranged. The older one has zero contact with her sister and birth mother and firml... View more

Whatever estranged situation you endure with your blood child the pain is lifelong. I have two daughters 32 and 28yo. The older one I'm close to, the younger one I'm estranged. The older one has zero contact with her sister and birth mother and firmly believes they are evil. It's clearer to me now, that my youngest stayed in the care of her mother and not only willingly adopted my ex's narcissistic ways (silence as a weapon, emotional manipulation, grandiose mannerisms etc) but is the spitting image of her mother. I divorce her mother for those reasons, so what hope did we have? My youngest would re-enter my life ever 2 years or so, sometimes for money that she wouldnt get, sometimes to hear the gossip, sometimes to enter then leave suddenly. Her preferred form of communication was facebook. With FB she had the ultimate tool as she could block me at will, communicate with my family and friends to find out information then - gone!! in an instant. Two years later "Hi Dad" and the 2 weeks of reaching out with love and care was dashed in being blocked again. I made the toughest of all decisions. I severed all ties. Yep, I blocked her and it remains that way, purely for my mental well being that my other daughter and wife deserve, they deserve me with my mental health the best it can possibly be. Subjected to trauma, then grief, then happiness ofr a few weeks then trauma and the cycle continues, is not good. The internal feeling of stigma for "abandoning my daughter is very real plus that feeling of failure. You can give your child opportunity, you can give them love and support but if they are destructive for whatever reason and no action works you might need to consider limits. Such boundaries if you fortress of survival. It's ok to keep grieving but sometimes its just not your fault. https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/relationship-and-family-issues/fortress-of-survival#qlnLN3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/fortress-of-survival-part-2#qr3mhnHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/fortress-of-suvival-part-3-(love)#quJq6XHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A TonyWK