hello Emwin, how sorry I feel for the both of you, because that's exactly what happened to me with our second child, my wife had PND and eventually I got it, not that it was ever intended to happen just as with your husband, the circumstances put both of you into a situation that wear onto eachother.
My wife didn't get any help by either counselling or with any medication so it just seemed to go on and on and seemed like forever, the same applied to me.
I thought that by moving towns and getting another job would help, because that's what she said would make her PND go away, and indeed it did but for only a short time, because we were employed in an hotel and she was meant to be the bookkeeper and I the publican.
Well the book keeping monthly figures came out for the first two months or so, but then it was like drawing blood out of a stone, so it was a last minute rush to get them out to the 7 directors, however they were friendly and knew that money intact had risen because there were more people in the pub, even so it was an enormous headache.
It was a struggle as I had to put on a 'happy face'while working 100 hours a week.
What we should have done was seek counselling as well as any medication the doctor prescribed.
I wish I could explain to you that deep down I know how you and your husband feel, because it will separate you both emotionally, each one of you not disclosing the pain you are going through, because you never think that he/she will understand what you are going through, but if you do this you may feel that you don't want to exasperate extra sadness to your partner, however it's causing more suffering for yourself as well as your husband.
Unfortunately it comes back to each one of you to tell the other person how it's affecting your life, rather than saying 'I'm the one who needs help', yes you do but so does your husband.
You need to have one strong person who can help out with your two beautiful girls aged 2 as well as be able to cope, but with you and your husband both suffering PND that won't happen.
My wife never wanted any help and if I had the chance I certainly would have, but working 100 hours a week I had to overcome it by myself, but that's not a good idea. Geoff. x
