A big concern regarding my children

[Terry73]

Hi,

Some of you may know my situation so I am not going to repeat it right here again, but there is a further issue in slight relation to that same topic, and it is in relation to my kids.

I love my kids dearly, I miss them so much, but I am also very aware of their own happiness and what is best for them above anything I might want. So my dilemma is this, should I just step out of my children's lives completely or not?

Here are some facts which make me feel that it may be in the best interest of my children that I do. Around August 2010 was last time I saw my kids, my daughter was 2.5 years old and my son was 8 months old, and due to my (ex)wife not allowing me contact with her or our children, I havent had any opportunity to be in contact with them, because of this, she hasnt even allowed any movement towards a custody order/parental agreement in regards to our children, now, nearly 8 years on, I have serious doubt if our children will remember me, and I have to come to a reality that if they have been informed of me at all by my (ex)wife and her family, then it probably wouldnt be in a good way.

The reality is our kids frame of mind, my (ex)wife, despite with-holding our children from me, still is a decent mother to the children (except sharing the parenting), and the few reports I have been able to get about them is that the children are happy and well. My concern is if I was to fight for my rights to see them, will that upset their lives? would it be better I let them live their lives in happiness or risk interrupting their lives?

The other side of the coin is when the children grow up and are able to make choices themselves, will they consider me or will they think I had abandoned them despite what I have tried to do to prevent that?

My kids health, both physical and mental, are always my number one priority and concern, so if I have to step out of their lives so they can lead as normal and happy a life as they can, then I would do so without a second though, even if it is of great pain to myself to do so.

I ask this here as I dont wish to approach it in an official manner until I am fully aware of what would be best, and what others think would be better in regards to this, as mentioning it to the courts could sway them into that direction of no contact, but then not mentioning it could affect our children's lives,

Regards

Terry

[blondguy]

Hey Terry

You were not harsh at all to Borderline. You had provided all the information. Its up to the person responding (including me too!) to have an understanding of whats happening by reading your thread

'TheBorderline' didn't read your thread (especially your first post)

I hope that is helpful

my best always

Paul

[Terry73]

Its cool, thanks Paul.

Hearing from you again is good and always seems to put me back into a positive mood again, no matter how much pain I might be in.

You truly are a community champion and well deserving of that title

Terry

[blondguy]

Hey Terry

You just made my day (week actually) and thankyou!! 🙂

I read your recent post about keeping your emotions 'detached' during this difficult/awful time and good on you! You are a legend and proactive with your health....Good1

I was also served an intervention order by my ex in the '90's just prior to proceedings and the judge made it very clear to my ex partner that the timing of the order was 'curious' and he wouldn't tolerate that type of behavior in his court....he also made mention that he was 'sick and tired' of some partners using an IVO as a weapon prior and during family court proceedings

I really hope that mediation can provide some type of a solution Terry. There are no expectations for you to post on the forums unless you wish and when its convenient for you!

Great to have you as part of the forum family Terry (thumbs up!)

my kind thoughts always....you are not alone with the pain you are going through

Paul