Dear Thekracken
Welcome to the forums and thank you for telling us your story. Often people believe trauma and PTSD only happen to those in risky jobs such as soldiers, police, paramedics firefighters etc. They are of course prime candidates but everyone can be badly traumatised by their own life events.
Children become accustomed to a way of life and believe it's normal. That being the case there is no reason to make a fuss. Of course it's not true and you have realised your upbringing was very difficult. Depression and anxiety can sneak up on us without us noticing until one day we realise it and get a huge and nasty shock. You have taken the first step towards healing.
Have you talked about any of this to one or other parent? I wonder how they see your upbringing and if they can explain any of the events which may help your anxiety. Adults often think children don't notice or cannot be hurt or upset by their parent's actions. It's because children do not ask questions or appear distressed. They learn to hide it all away. I think now is the time for you to explore how you feel and gain some understanding of yourself and your circumstances.
I suggest you talk to your doctor about this and get a referral to a good counsellor, psychologist or psychiatrist. When you can sort this out in your mind and understand what happened I think you will start to heal.
Being molested is a different matter. Please tell your doctor what happened. I take it you know this person. You need to decide if you want to take action over this. I presume neither parent knew about this. Can you tell one or other parent what happened? It is important this is dealt with soon rather than sitting in your mind and causing continual distress.
I hope this is helpful. Keep writing in here for support.
Mary
