Learning to deal with trauma by finding positives in learning or growing afterwards

Elizabeth CP · ‎15-02-2016

I am using this thread for my own benefit but would be glad of others input. Last time I saw my psychiatrist & discussing the negative impacts of several traumatic & bad experiences he asked me to come up with positives or things I've learnt from the experience. Following his suggestion I started writing down things each day and this helped me but once I stopped things went downhill so I thought I would try again using this thread. Hopefully it may inspire others to find some positives to help them deal with their own trauma.

My idea is not about making the event itself positive with comments like 'at least you survived' because that doesn't help.

Positives I can think of today are:

By being poor due to losing everything in the bushfire I have learnt to manage money well & can save & go without to get what I really need. This was a benefit when my husband was out of work and now that we are on carers & disability pension

Because of my low self esteem I compensated by working hard at school so I got good marks. Thjis meant I was able to focus on my studies and got a scholarship to study at uni.

I missed having relatives in Australia so I really appreciated my family and went out of my way to stay close to my brother which meant my kids are now really close to their cousins & my brother has helped me a lot when needed.

Please feel free to comment or add your own ideas.

Elizabeth CP · ‎20-02-2016

You are an inspiration to me as you reach out to help people while you struggle with unbelievable traums. Thank you

Paul · ‎20-02-2016

I'm struggling to see a positive today, but I know that I will see a positive soon. My difficulties and journey have taught me to know that no positive today is OK and that tomorrow a positive will likely occur to me.

So I guess this in itself is a positive.

Elizabeth CP · ‎20-02-2016

I made myself do a short walk & thought of a positive I will write while I think of it. As a child we were short of money as we lived in a migrant hostel (where I was bullied badly) while my parents saved for a house. Because it was so bad my parents took us out on weekends to escape & for summer holidays we would head off to explore the country. We had no camping equipment so we slept with our feet in the car boot and ate cold food as we couldn't cook. Nevertheless we enjoyed ourselves & I learnt how to have a holiday even when there is no money. after the bushfire we had no TV & later on had no car. I learnt to walk anywhere I wanted to go which led to a love of bushwalking. Without TV we would listen to mum & dad reminiscing about their adventures when they were young & prompted me to try some of these things. I actually hiked through the Lake District in England from Youth Hostel to hostel because of the memories they shared. This was fun.

Guest_5218 · ‎20-02-2016

Thats lovely Elizabeth. Well done!

Sherie xx

romantic_thi3f · ‎03-03-2016

Hi Elizabeth,

Gosh this is probably my favourite post today; I am loving your positive spin on things and I agree that it's so important.

My positive spins would be that:

- I struggle a lot with health issues but it's such a great catalyst in learning how to take care of myself, listen to my body and learn to trust it. Prior to being diagnosed, I used to have lots of Red Bull (energy drinks), caffeine tablets and sleeping tablets (I know, the irony). Now, I eat better, have homemade smoothies for breakfast and don't touch any caffeine. Learning how to listen to my body is the hardest and best lesson that I'm learning. My illness has also allowed me to connect with people from all over the world through online forums, which is truly amazing.

- When I was a kid I struggled a lot with abuse. The positive spin that I can put on this is that now I can really appreciate what it's like to not be abused; in the way that I feel so much more free, and that I know that I am safe from being harmed. I'm so grateful to not live in fear everyday.

- I'm not able to work because of my health, and even though this is really hard sometimes, other times I'm really grateful because it means that I can spend time on here helping people, and I get to listen to stories and work on my study and do lots of courses. Back when I was working I'd just get up go to work come home and have tea. My life feels more purposeful now even though it's so much harder.

🙂

Elizabeth CP · ‎03-03-2016

Hi Romantic. That was an inspiring post whicj prompted me to really think of another positive for myself which is hard but helpful. Because we were short of money & dad had lived through the depression so it was a long term situation for him my parents couldn't go to the shops & buy what they wanted/needed (except basics like food). My father taught himself to do woodwork & gardening & was extremely talented. This meant we ended up with beautiful handmade furniture. I still have bookcases he made which are unlike anything I have seen elsewhere. My jewellry box was made out of an fruit crate but is beautifully built & finished with a carved rose on the top. My coffee table is stronger & more beautiful than anything you can buy & reminds me of my dad, his talent & his love when I see it. If we were richer the incentive to build beautiful items out of scrap wood ior old furniture would be lost so I would have missed out on the beauty & memories.