I would like to reach out to those experienced with PTSD as a personal diagnosis...

[Constellation]

I was diagnosed with PTSD by a Psychologist about 9 years ago. I would like to reach out to those who have had a similar diagnosis or medical and trained professionals answering this forum. I was found abandoned as a child, within a war zone. I was then placed into an orphanage, 5 kids to a cot, and then was adopted by well-meaning Caucasian parents. I am only now interested in visiting a Psychiatrist and asking them to use FMRI (?) technology to show this diagnosis as clearly operating within my brain. I am not certain that I want to submit to a Psychiatrist's diagnosis and confirmation of PTSD, WITHOUT scientific and visual proof. If it is the case, I would like to follow the course of counselling, medication or monitoring where relevant. Apart from certain "obvious"indicators which show my behaviour to be very different to the average or normal person in terms of relationships and responses to change etc (I am happy to discuss these symptoms in much greater detail if you have been diagnosed with PTSD or are a Medical professional etc), one of the most obvious symptoms is waking every morning at the same time, regardless of where I am located in the world. Sleep can be interupted, especially if there is an important appointment I need to attend the following day. I have an extraordinary memory for the long term past, but my short term memory can see me forget something of detail within 5 minutes. I can also get lost easily with or without the help of Google Maps! Lol. And a simple journey of just 10 kms can take me several hours if I get disoriented. How would I say that it affects my personality overall? Deep suspicion and inability to trust others, inability to sustain friendships, wary of emotional connection, these are just some cursory notes on who I present myself to be in the world. If I am to believe that I have had this disorder, my personality has grown up with it, and functioned despite of it...if that makes sense. I would be very interested to know your symptoms, observations, discussions with medical professionals... as I haven't yet received those images from a Psychiatrist yet, but even before or upon receiving them, I would like to understand this diagnosis in far greater depth. I hope that this briefly outlines what I would like to chat about. What are your experiences? Can you relate to anything that I am talking about too? Many thanks...

[Croix]

Dear Constellation~

Welcome here to the Forum. I guess there are many here who have PTSD, myself included.

While the symptoms, memory issues and general social difficulties do sound very familiar to me and form a subset of my symptoms I wonder if given your upbringing a degree of distrust and social isolation may also be a perfectly rational reaction. In my own case reactions were over the top and not really commensurate with my experiences.

As I maintain an interest in my condition I've heard of using functional MRI, SPECT and PET to observe physical differences, both to the original disorder and also to the effects of mindfulness/meditation, I'm not aware that these are recognized everyday diagnostic tools. It would be nice if they were. Mind you I'm no researcher and may have missed much.

I do wonder what you hesitate about undergoing treatment without a straight physical diagnosis. I have been treated without such, and over time the treatments have bean reasonable successful. Without being entirely symptom-free life is manageable (and pretty good most of the time). At one stage I was convinced psychiatry could do no good, and looking back I think it might have been a combination of great distrust plus fear of consequences. At one stage I was convinced I'd be found to have imagined the whole thing - sadly not the case.

I also think looking back that some of the earlier medications were not good, though the therapies themselves did no harm and the later ones did good. Now I'm on a regime of meds plus regular talk-based therapy with a psychiatrist.

May I ask if oyu are alone of have people to be wit and support you? This made a great difference to me even if I did not acknowledge the fact to start with.

Croix

[LavenderTea]

• Constellation,

Thank you for posting.

I too am interested in what your thoughts are surrounding acceptance of a diagnosis without the visual proof of an FMRI scan.

There are a few things I can touch on, in order to help you understand what's happening for you. Firstly I'll start with the symptoms and diagnostic information that were likely to have been used by a mental health clinician in order to diagnose you. I do just want to point out, that the exact criteria for diagnosing PTSD 9 years ago may vary slightly from the current diagnoses. I’ll keep these fairly brief and just highlight the main points:

• Exposure to trauma
• Experiencing intrusions related to the trauma: this can be flashbacks, distressing memories, dreams, dissociation (for example, you re-experience parts of the trauma), distress in response to things related to the trauma
• Persistent avoidance of trauma related things
• Negative changes in thought or mood: this includes issues with remembering important aspects of the trauma, unrealistic or negative beliefs, negative mood, reduced interest in daily living aspects, feeling detached, unable to experience positive emotions.
• Changes in reactivity: this includes being irritable, hyperactive, easily stressed or startled, issues with concentration, and trouble sleeping

These are the basic criteria, and generally, individuals with PTSD will experience aspects of each of these dot points, but not necessarily everything.

The second thing I want to talk about is what actually happens with the brain when you experience trauma and subsequently PTSD.

When someone experiences trauma, and it becomes a problem, this means that it has been processed differently that it should be. When trauma is processed how it should be, there would be aspects of the memories that you can remember, but it won’t typically have the emotional strength that unprocessed trauma has. With trauma in PTSD, there are different neural networks that are activated. That’s where this idea of using FMRI might come from. What you might see is that when you think of trauma or trauma-related aspects, there will be neural networks that light up that are different to those that light up in someone without PTSD.

What might be helpful for you is to consider what's making you want this visual proof, rather than just accepting the diagnosis. Perhaps you’d like a second opinion? Or you could ask a mental health prof. to help you understand the diagnosis more.

LT.

[Constellation]

Thankyou very much for talking to me!!! I have a Partner (non sexual but loving) of 18 years. We are a codependent and dysfunctional mess most of the time with arguments every 5 minutes over who said what and how it was said. I at least have the diagnosis of PTSD to fall back, he does not! Lol. He spent 15 years trying to tell me something was wrong. And he was right. I just was in denial. My concern is that the Vietnamese Psychologist who diagnosed me, had concluded that he had found PTSD in a certain section of the exPat population, and that he was nearly trying to fit me into his model. He said that many parents had raised their Children in Australia, then upon the empty nest, found they had these symptoms. I agree that I should consider getting a 2nd opinion. I am stepping up to a Psychiatrist because I am kind of resigned to the reality that I need help and ultimately, meds. I was just asking about visual confirmation as it would speed up my trust.

[Croix]

Dear Constellation~

Thanks for coming back and explaining. One of the effects of PTSD -plus other life experiences too of course -is a lack of trust, both of ordinary people and medical support.

In my own case I found that this was overcome partly be my ongoing impression of the doctor/psych/etc and partly if I felt the diagnosis "fit" and there were in time tangible benefits from the treatments.

Treatments do not always start out successfully, and I went though a very long period with meds before settling on the right regimen. Therapy was a mixed bag but did help -as did hospitalization. There is a marked difference between psychologists and psychiatrists, with hte latter more capable over a broader range and able to prescribe. I think you are wise to step up to the higher level and also have more than just that one opinion.

There are a couple of things I would ask you. Firstly if you are from overseas from a different culture is it possible that you can gain support and share experiences with others of a similar background?

The second is that as your life has too many arguments is it worth considering the pair of you getting specific help in that area? While I'm sure some people manage with robust interchange I'm not sure it is helpful when trying to reduce the effects of PTSD ( my aggression really needed toning down) - or a relationship either for that matter.

Croix